I've managed to get a hold of most of my anger, I still need to vent some more.<P>[b]I HATE THIS SICKNESS CALLED INFIDELITY[b/]<P>It makes people that are loving and caring and genuinly honest, become raving loonatics!<P>I want to know where Robin went and when she'll return?<P>I feel like my plan-aing isn't working! I know it will take some time along with alot of strength and courage. I love my wife and am committed to my marriage.<P>I realise R is in a bad place in her mind. She thinks she loves this little [censored]<BR>( from now on he will be refered to as LB), hates what she has done to her family, wishes she could turn back the clock,<BR>and still loves me.<BR>I'd hate to have that on me when I closed my eyes at night.<P>What realy ticks me off is I know for a<BR>[b]FACT[b/]LBs whole goal was to get my wife!<BR>Right now I realy hate this home-wrecking little[b]PUKE[b/]!!<P>Sticking to my 180 plan is getting harder and harder. Just when things seem to be progressing, whammo! a knife in the chest!!!<P>You all told me things would escalate and she would test me. They have and she is.<P>I wonder what it going to take to get her back to reality. Are they gonna have to get arrested? Is he going to have to abuse her? If he does that you all will probably be visiting me in jail.<BR>I have hope that being around my parents next week will start to do it.<BR>They love her so much, and they will show her what she stands to lose as far as that goes.<BR>I also hope LB, going to have to think af somethin else to call him LB will get confusing. How about HW, for home-wrecker, thats what he wanted to do so it fits.<BR>I digressed, I hope HW starts some major LBing soon.<P>I can sit here and guess all day why she won't come around. I'm just spinning my wheels.<BR>She's real SICK right now, that will have to do.<P>If anyone is out there, I need some replies of encouragement.<P>Your Strong and Courageous(I don't feel it)<BR>Friend,<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hang in there Bill!<P>I know it's tough, but it really is an addiction. I am a betrayer, just recently cut off all contact and let me tell you it is ROUGH, even though I love my H. But I did fall in love with OM, and it's hard to dig myself out of that whole. Working on it though.<BR>By the way, I like the LB (no, not him, just the abbrevition!) Kind of coincidental dontcha think...that's our acronym for lovebusting....<BR>Be strong and vent all you want!

Bill,<P>As NSR would say, TAKE A DEEP BREATH. You have every right to feel the way you are feeling so vent here and go with it. GET IT ALL OUT. Yes, I hate this infidelity thing too, we all do. It's hell, it isn't fair and there are times (like now) when we feel no matter what we do nothing is working. <P>But, as you have heard before, patience my friend and love. We can draw our strength from God and each other. We are entitled to our feelings and need to work through them. But you love your W and have come this far. Don't let these emotions you have right now destroy all that you have done. Your W is very confused and not in reality right now. <BR>And some people take more time than others to come around. We wish of course it was sooner, especially now considering the time of year. But, hang in there and pray for strength and guidance in what you are feeling. Love always wins over the evil things that infiltrate our lives. I believe the HW is only 17? He is NOT a man, he's a kid. It is a matter of time before she realizes he is extremely limited in what he can offer her long term on what really matters. It sounds a lot like selfishness on his part. I'm here for you and so is everyone else. If we continue to lean on each other for support, venting, encouragement, etc. we CAN and WILL get through this. Hang in and hold on. You are stronger than you know. <P>I'm praying for you friend.

WilliamJ<P>I can't help much because I'm in near the same place. I don't understand infidelity. I'm sure H thinks he is or even is in love with OW and where does that leave me? I know he loves me, even though he probably wouldn't admit to it now. Stay strong and pray for things to get better. When things were going bad for me, my H used to say - 'things look pretty bad now and they are - so they have to get better soon!' That's what I'm holding on to. I'll pray for your W to have the strength come home and be a wife.

hold on william, <P>you have had very good moments these past few days:<P>putting up the tree went well....<P>she agreed to stay x-mas eve,<P>the x-mas shopping went well....<P>she went to church with you...<P>you expected an emotional withdrawl from her after all these positive events....<P>the pain will take ALOT of time, the stupidity of infidelity may take years for some of us to understand it....<P>hold on to yourself, and to abbey....<P>if Robin comes to her senses, then she will...if she does not, then you have to wait...or think of yourself....<P>as for cheeseball boy, well, I know all about the OP wanting to home-wreak....<P>I am not being very helpful, am I, Bill....sorry....<P>but back to cheeseballs...<P>this kid is underage.....and nobody but you thinks this is nuts? statutory rape anyone? I loved your red-neck visual the other day..!!! is there any possibility of his getting tired of her? of the whole "family" thing? I find it hard to picture a 17 yr. old planning a future with a 31 year old woman with a child....he will tire of her and her entanglements.....its really the only natural thing to happen to an adolescent... or am I living in a fantasy world?<P>if Robin thinks that he will be faithful...hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...no 17 yr. old that I have ever met could settle for the SAME woman for the rest of his life....can you imagine this hormonal kid staying with 1 woman through his 20's ???? <P>some things to ponder....<P>so far, you are doing wonderfully...stick to your plan...it IS working...you are not LBing, she is seeing a wonderful Bill, making her see what she has left behind, reminding her of what she stands to lose.....<P>it sounds like she may be afraid that you are too good for her and that she is not able to return home because of the guilt...if that is the case, then you are doing the right thing..<P>give yourself a big hug....do not start second guessing now, you have to see that you really are outstanding....<P>I hope your parents have the required effect on all involved, and I sincerely hope that cheeseball boys' family is really horrible..and that she sees the difference...remember, she has to be able 'see' abbey in that 'red-neck' family scenario if she is to remain with 'he of the balls of cheese'....if she can't picture your beautiful, angelic child mixing with these, these, cheeseball people, it may work to your advantage...<P>take care of YOU.....<P>Dylan<P>p.s....I am in a very BIZARRE head space today...if the above makes no sense, I'll re-post later when I am back in my mind...

mschif,<BR>I always look forward to hearing from betrayers. Thank you, you helped restore my hope. I'm glad your here and willing to work on your marriage.<P>D2,<BR>You are right thats exactly what NSR would say. I'm glad I've got this place to vent. It helps to get it out. She knows he's a looser. I just wish she would realise we can work through this and not be scared.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

William,<P>I often wondered what my 45 yr. old H and his 19 year old SH (Shameless Hussy) talked about when they were together. What made my H fall in love with her? After getting past the charm of being a youngster, wasn't he bored by her babble of life's inexperiences. They were, after all, from different generations!!!<P><BR>Husband: Oh, do you remember the show Tobar the Eighth Man?<P>SH: No, was he a rapper?<P>H: How about Johnny Carson, ever hear of him?<P>SH: No, but was He a rapper? <P> I have been a camp director for 8 years and find that the lives of my young counselors are often; YOUNG, IMMATURE, and self indulging. I, when 19, had been there, done that and in time I was ready to grow up.<P>Did your W miss out on any important milestones of her young adult life? Is she trying to relive something that she thinks that she missed by being with LB?<P>My husband's SH (shameless hussy) thought that it was fun to hang out with my H. He told her that he had feelings for her and that he couldn't see her anymore and she then made more of an effort to be in places where he was to be close to him. When I called her she referred to the time spent with my husband as "HANGING OUT". How cute. She had the power to ruin my family and she called it "hanging out"<P><BR>I read your post and I hear wisdom, love and maturity in your words. I do FEEL that these are the traits that will win out in the end. <P>You and your wife have had some positive encounters recently. Be patient, be kind. We will help you stay strong.<P>I am rooting for you and do feel that you will have your family back again one day. Hopefully soon!<P><BR>INFIDELITY SUCKS

Just want you to know I was here for you. Everyone else said it all. We want it all over NOW!!! But life doesn't work that way. So hang in there come here to vent we could have a contest as to who could yell the loudest about all of this I know it is hard and I wish I had great words of wisdom for you (all h*)) I wish I had them for me) to help you get through all of this. {{{HUGS}}}<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Bill,<P>Hopefully W will realize it and I tend to think she will. Because what in the world could a (17 year old CHEESE BALL) as Souless put it, have to offer anyone. At seventeen you don't know WHAT you want, just living for the moment and hormones. This CANNOT last with W and Cheese Ball Boy. <P>I'm not expert Goodness knows, but she may be scared and feeling quilty about her selfness and is not sure how to rectify it all and continues to run away from these feelings because it is easier. My H has always blocked things out that bother him. Afraid to really look at himself. So it has always been easier to run, hide from the truth and himself. Maybe there is something about her past that has caused her to behave this way, I don't know for sure. But I do know my husband's past has caused many of the problems we have encountered due to his inability to deal with those problems and get past them. She may not even realize it herself. Don't know if this helps, but you have been doing so good now don't let the anger destroy it all. Try to find constructive outlets for this emotion. It is not always easy, but that is what I am trying to do when the anger surfaces. That thin line between love and hate can choke sometimes.....Believe me, I know.<P>You are doing all the right things, hang in,<BR>stay strong.

Hi WilliamJ,<P>you vent and vent and vent, my friend. Get it all out. You have been so amazingly strong, and loving. This had to happen. A down time. BUT, those up times seem to be happening more often for you and Robin and Abbey don't they. Hang on to those.<P>You guys are so much further down the track than I am, so I feel a bit funny about replying to some posts - but from where I stand, your situation reads so positive. The beautiful times of the year, ie, Christmas and putting the tree up - she was with you, and WANTED to be with YOU. Not cheeseball (love that name!!!)<P>You lean on all of us here when you need to, I for one have big shoulders, and will hold you up.<P>You are doing so well, giving her so much love and encouragement. She has to see the difference, but she may not be ready to admit to that yet. I guess it must be hard for these betrayers to make such a big life change decision, only to have it be the wrong one. And I believe they are the wrong decisions.<P>I can just see his spotty little 17 yo face - and hear his music. (blech, headbanging, techno, rappo crappo!!!) I'm sure Robin is just about to wake up and smell the ......acne cream.!!!! I simply cannot imagine what a 17 yo could offer me now - what living have they done at their tender ages, over here they have just finished high school for pete's sake...<P>I have a feeling for you my friend, it's not going to be too long. <P>You have been there for me, I'm here for you now. Use my, and everyone else's shoulders, and then go back to being the wonderful, loving, caring, and nuturing Bill that Robin knows and loves. Because that's who you are. And she knows that.<P>I'll be thinking of you, and praying for you. You're OK, you just needed to vent and let off steam. That's OK, do it.<P>Big hugs for you, and hang on.<P>Jo

instead of OM (other man)<BR>or OB (other boy)<BR>HM (Home wrecker)<BR>SH (Shameless Hussy)<BR>LB (little ba$[censored] - lol I liked this one)<BR>how about...<P>P-P-head (Puling Pimple Head)<BR>LUMP (Little Underdeveloped Monster Puke)<BR>IDJET (Immature Dumb Judas Emotional Terrorist) <BR>BRAT (Bonehead Rat Attemting Theivery)<BR>WART (Weasling [censored] arrr! Teee!)<P>ok, the last one is kind of lame...<BR>Deut

Hi Bill,<P>I think your first point said it all. Robin is sick right now. She isn't doing this to hurt you. She doesn't know why she is doing it. Remember, our vows-- In sickness, & in health... That's what I keep flashing back to when I get really down. My H is lost right now, & so is Robin. But, you must believe this-- She WILL find her way back to you. I know how hard it is to be patient. Your insides are screaming, 'But what about me?' 'How much more can I take?' But, you are the strong one right now. Robin isn't. You have to hang in there. For you, for her, for Abbey. Because, this too will end. Even though, each day feels like a week, each week a month, as so on. Never forget one thing-- Love always wins.

Wafflestoo, I like your conversation, all the have to talk about is the current situation. Other than that he's usualy so stoned it's like talking to the couch.<P>SDS, I'm still hangin in!!!<P>D2, I have to agree with the fear angle. She's hurt alot of people that she's close to she also doesn't talk to them now. Thats going to be a [BIG TAB[/b] to pay.<P>Bonnet, Thanks for the shoulder. I hope it's not too much longer.<P>Dylan& Deut., Thanks for the humor.<BR>BRAT (Bonehead Rat Attemting Theivery)<BR>Thats my favorite so far. Laughter is the best medicine.<P>Sydney, In sickness & in health, For better or worse. Thats why I'm still here.<BR>She waited for me when I left her 6 months pregnant to chase drugs. I kinda owe her.<P>Thanks Everyone,<P>Bill<P>

WilliamJ,<P>How about LBWBT: Little b@stard with bad teeth! <P>or<P>LRB: Little Rat B@stard<P>I guess I am partial to Little B@astard... <P>Yes, Robin is really in ga-ga land here. I think she likes the freedom, carefree living and lack of responsibility that the LRB's age represents. You know, sooner or later, she has got to be BORED with this teenager and his bad teeth and his bad habits!<P>Keep the faith, Bill. This is the place to really let the anger go - vent all you want!!!<P>I would be happy to teach you some of my karate moves to kick this kid's butt! OH....THAT puts a BIG smile on my face <P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Hey Bill,<P>Sorry to hear that you have a lot of anger pent up inside. It is normal for what we are going through. Suggestion, go to an indoor batting cage. Every ball is LB's head. I see you like golf too. It might be just a little cold outside to cream some golfballs.<P>You have to get rid of the bad emotions. They will cause you not only mental, but physical damage.<P>Hang tough Buddy, better days are coming for us all.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

RMA, Karate? I need to look into that. I have a buddy thats into Tai kickboxing.<BR>LRB these acronyms are getting better and better.<P>Medic, I was thinking of going to the range with my .45. That always drains my anger. Target practice.... I don't need to go there, might get serious.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

WillaimJ,<P>I have a .22 and am not very experienced....but I volunteer to practice on LRB as the target!!!!!<P>Yeah, and we can REALLY kick his butt, too!!!<P>Boy, this post is sure brightening MY day!<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

RMA, <P>If they can live there fantacy, we should be able to live ours, right?<P>But then again I think that could be construed as a lovebuster. Damn Rules !!!<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<P>Yes...fantasy! Some nights your mind is all that can keep you going! Too bad these would be considered LB's <P>You know what, I could SEE that smile on your face as you were reading my posts.....<P>GOTCHA! You ARE starting to feel better! <P>Gotta go to sleep - an early day. Take care, Bill.<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Hi Will....Vent all you want. This is the right place to do it. I just wish Robin would get her wake-up call soon! I can't imagine what she sees in a puny 17 year old. He has nothing to offer. Do you think that she stays away from her friends & family because she is ashamed and embarrassed of the situation she created? Who wants to go around telling people that they think they are in love with someone who is almost 1/2 their age/junior! He can't even vote!<P>I like those nicknames that you gave the OP. It's hard not to give them nicknames. I gave the OW a nickname. Sometimes I call her "The Prostitute" or I call her "Red-Neck-Inbred-Scum-Trash"<P>Anyway....hang in there and stay strong! <p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited December 15, 1999).]