Anti depressants were a life saver for me. Depression is a serious illness. You can spiral down and it can get out of control. Anti depressants don't dope you up, they just "put a floor beneath your feet" as a friend of mine says.

I was on Celexa. It is a miracle drug for some. For me, I did have side effects- sleepiness, numb below the waist. So my doc switched me to another anti D that is perfect for me. I just feel normal, not verging on suicidal, and I stopped crying 5 times a day. So, try Celexa, but if it isn't right for you, get your doc to give you something else.

The meds don't work right away- so give them a chance.

I am taking Luvox which is in the same family of anti-d but slightly different bc I am nursing my 2 mon old. Anyway it kicked in about 2 weeks ago. I am feeling sooooo much better. For the first three weeks I felt out of control still (doc said the depression was just more severe then, not a result of the meds) But I am now able to manage making dinner without freaking out if I am out of an ingredient, and I can handle my 3yr old whirlwind of activity without losing it on her for something that doesn't really matter. I resisted starting them for 3 weeks bc I thought "I should be able to do this on my own" I'm managing just fine...but I wasn't!!! My children need me to be 'sane', I needed to think clearly without the massive moodswings. And I felt guilty that these were negatively affecting my children. Ex. just made apple crisp....flour, sugar, and oats ALL over the place (3yr old baking) and not once did I feel stressed. In re to my FWH I am able to look at him outside the context of the A. And I am no longer hiding from the outside world. I am 'feeling' once more.

I am following your story (((hugs))) You have been getting some sage advice so I will not add more at this time but will continue to check in on you.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.

ag