Yes , he did go to storage , just as I thought she beeped oh 2or 3 times before he called .
H yelled awhile calling her every gross name in the book Cun* , and words to that affected , saying leave me the F alone to I hope you die and your kid to .
Not very nice can't say I don't want to tell her off like that myself .
BUT ............ He did go and get her $hit anyway . don't know what kind of wakky thing they got going on but can't be bothered .

H said, sorry and was acting all disappointed in himself .
But facts are facts he went . I put kids to sleep and went to bed .
He showed up around 12am , kissing and saying sorry I told him those are words and nothing more .

All along telling me he won't let me go and won't let this ruin us . WE have tickets to go out next SUN and a party we are commited to SAT>
There is a wedding end of the month in MARCH ,
All things he says he is looking forward to being with me alone to just relax and have fun and then telling me about going to travel agent ,wants us to get away alone ???????????????????
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
This man may very well need a couch to sit on and some ,alot of DRUGS I think he is going to spin out of control .

Something just don't add up .

3 -- i'm proud of you -- now stick to it!!

get all of your boundries in place RIGHT NOW. If you want NO CONTACT, then INSIST on NO CONTACT.

If you want her to know the truth, THEN MAKE HIM SPELL IT OUT IN A LETTER THAT YOU SEE AND SEND TO HER.

NOW IS THE TIME!!!

Down GIRL
OK Lexxy- love the joy from ya , but I got to be strong enough cause I know he is not going to choose me . I mean he will say I choose you , but I am not telling her or ignoring her .

I know this is what he will say and that is when the $hit needs to hit the fan ,oh i know everyones anawer is be strong stick to bounderies ,and I know it is right , but did i try hard enough or do i just want a deision.
I know I put up with it but did I DEAL with it ?

Ok I have been reading soooo many posts here , and I have found some very much the same as mine . I read responses and there is none as negitive as mine many are to keep going for all its worth <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
Lost-I know you been writing since biging , and is the difference that I don't stick to a plan.
God why can't I stay focused? I don't want to go through with letting him go . I feel sick even thinking of it . I mean really ill like it is not right . I feel more ill thinking of letting go , then I do when I am dealing with this situation . I am not at peace with the decision of exposing it or with D .
Should I know if that decision is right if I don't feel it? I really want to run I am so very confused I think I am no better then him in any way . I can't deal with battling him any more I yell he yells back I yell louder he runs further what the F am I doing I am my own worsed enemy .
Anyone I am so out of it I am so <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Dear 3,

Yes, we are out there.

Will begin by acknowledging that you are not comfortable with filing for D or Plan B.

My question is this:
If you are not comfortable with the above plans, are you really in plan A? This is not a slam, just wondering.

Sounds like ow is LBing a lot. But when you are yelling at your WS, aren't you LBing also?

I had a really good counselor during my FWS affair, and one of the things he taught me was to step back from my emotions. Never to deny them, only to acknowledge how I felt, but not to react to them. Let them wash over you, acknowledge them and let them go, do not hang onto them.

If ow is LBing, do the opposite. No yelling, provoking, arguing. If you are in plan A, then try to meet WS needs, no relationship talks, etc. Try not to react when WS tells you everything. (ie; called ow talked to ow saw ow helped ow) I am not saying this will be easy. I don't know how you have come this far when your WS is openly rubbing salt in your wounds, so to speak.

Only you can decide what is best for you. You will know when enough is enough, and you need to change your plan.

But if you are not ready to end things or go to plan B, try to do a good plan A. I know this is very hard, considering the circumstances, and we all blow it sometimes.

Am praying for you, sending you hugs, seeing how much you love your H and how much you want things to work out.

You are truely a good person, worthy of love and fidelity. Try to take care of yourself and do some things for yourself that make you feel better.

Don't depend on WS to help you out right now so you can, for example, get your nails done. Have a back up plan, and don't always be there waiting.
But, be nice about all of that, don't make it a LB.

Please take care of you!

Love in Christ,
Miss M

1 My complete confustion is this she LB's all the time and he keeps going , keeps taking it from her .
2 And the lies are so stupid LOL I mean I met people who can lie and he is not good at it .
3 That is the thing that makes me LB like crazy and never end up with good plan A .

What could it be that makes a person so scared of someone that is willing to help them .

Gave every out to him possible , won't tell anyone, won't confront her , won't bother with him , all this for the truth and for him to leave .
Even if he said , I don't love you any more I would let him go no other questions asked .

It drives me from insane to depression and a hole bounch of other emotions .

Yes I been down the do for me road and it does please him to see it . nails , hair, shaving and calgon .LOL

Hey 3--been reading and thinking. Here's my obervations--

1. You do not feel ready to do plan B or file for D. I totally understand, although it's never a good idea to make empty threats.

2. What you're doing now is just not workin for ya. (dontcha just love Dr. Phil?)

3. H is not a decision maker. He would rather wait and let things take care of themselves. "She'll stop calling/go away/leave us alone eventually." Translation: "As long as things stay the way they are, I don't have to do anything. Sure, I've gotta argue and try to keep them cool, but I've still got 2 women and I'm going to keep them both AS LONG AS I CAN."

Like I've said before, you've gotta have a plan, whatever that plan may be. YOU have to make a decision or three. First you have to decide whether you want to stick it out longer, and I feel certain that you do, from what you've said. Then you have to decide the best way to deal with this situation--plan A, 180, come up with your own plan, just have a PLAN. THEN you have to decide what are the best ways for you to keep control of your reactions, temper, etc. to keep yourself from going against your plan. And every day you have to make the conscious decision to do whatever it is you can that will help you in your plan.

Did I mention you need a plan??

Not trying to be a smarta$$, I just feel that knowing how you are going to handle things is vital for you to be able to deal with this.

Also, I'm not mad or anything (well, you already know that your H pi$$e$ me off, but that's beside the point). Hope it doesn't bother you for me to be so blunt, but, like you said, we've been talking pretty much since we both got to mb. If you think my H is an [censored], tell me. And if it does bother you for me to be blunt, you can tell me that too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I just want to see things work out for you--and for you to come out of this with your sanity intact.

Oh, one other thing. Even though you know you're not going to file, at least let him think you still are. See if his behavior changes at all. Personally, I think it will. To be totally honest, alot of things about your H remind me of my H (possibly the reason I call him names?). My H can't stand to make a decision either, especially one in which he has to intentionally hurt someone (and I'm sure neither of our Hs view the beginning of the A as a "decision"--"It just happened" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ). Although H now calls it a F up--close enough I guess. Getting to my point (I know there's got to be one somewhere), I think that if he thinks you are still going to file, it may give him a kick in the butt in the right direction. JMO--if you think I'm full of it, feel free to tell me, you won't offend me (or shut me up--LOL!).

HEY GIRL no I don't mind blunt I myself am that way , and also never take anything to heart , peoples opions or a 2X 4 method does not offend me . LOL
No do not shut up , this is my only sanity .
Plan PLAN PLAN ,OK I need a plan , LOL not my problem , STICKING TO THEM IS <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ( just in case you have not noticed that) LOL
I feel like I need a break from dealing with life, so childish I know but honest . I don't know if I just ignore this for awhile till I can regroup . (does that make sense)
He is so needy and so are my kids , (all my fault because I do everything )
And so is OW LOL .

SNOW coming THURSDAY never good for mental health .
I do really feel this situation is over when I am ready to go for it .
I think I am convinced that is what he WANTS and is waiting for .
But I don't think I am emitionaly ready to take that battle on .He is a child and if I go to her the $hit will hit the fan (putting it bluntly) He is the type to react in complete anger total rage even if it an act that is what he will do .
That I know .I to have venom but not strong enough at this piont to go toe to toe . KNOW WHAT I MEAN .
I need to back out of this situation for awhile like an observer . I have to forget I am in it like I am an outsider looking in . Like it is not about me .( I don't know if I am making sense )
Yesterday was bad fight all day then at night just did not say a word all night .

Went to sleep and he held me at night and kissed me and hugged in the morning , he did remeber to say 5x'S there is snow coming when I was watching TV , I said nothing , But I know it was to get a rise out of me . POst later got to go .

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Plan PLAN PLAN ,OK I need a plan , LOL not my problem , STICKING TO THEM IS </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And YOU Are the only one that can change this. First, figure out what plan you think would work best. Then (the hard part) you have to change your habits--not easy but entirely possible. Think about what you want to accomplish, and be sure to think about it before doing anything that goes against your plan (such as LBs). Remember that it is something you are doing for yourself, for your marriage. Think about what benefits you more in the long run--calling your H a (justified) name and pointing out what a (u-know-what) he's being, or doing everything you can to help salvage your marriage.

As far as taking a break from life--girl, I know that feeling well! If a vacation by yourself is not an option (wouldn't that be nice, tho?), try doing things that relieve stress. Anything that will help you relax and keep your mind off the BS (NOT betrayed spouse) going on--have a drink and read after kids are asleep, lock yourself in the bathroom for an hour with a radio and aromatherapy candles and listen to soothing music and soak in hot water til you look like a prune--anything that makes YOU feel good.

Got to stay away from this situation I am PMS mode bad , these are the days that are worst .
I am just tring to avoid all conversation right now . Made a doctor appt .GYN got to get this pms under control it flips me out .

Yesterday not to bad , kids came home and I put everything on hold and stayed with them all afternoon doing homework together and art and craft for youngest one . H called kids talked to him on the radio for awhile and that was able to limit me to convo.

I needed it cause my gut was in over time it was wend. and I knew she would want him to " stop by" cause she knows he gets paid , and she does it to make him late coming home so I don't get check on time .(thinking he don't live here i have to wait until thurs. ) What a B1tch !!!!!!!!!

He says well she is grasping a straws to see if I am home so yes , your probbly right she wants to piss you off .

MY first plan in getting a plan is my dealing with my obsesion of OW . I can't igrore these feelings there , there .
1-So first and for most I think I can pretty much say I can predict her movement and methods .
So I need to no them , know I am right and not let it push my buttons .
I have to put it in my head she is trying to piss me off so , I need to ignore it and just not let her actions get to me .

2- If he is seeing it and also wanting to do it to piss me off same approach .
I am going to basiclly except that he is handling things his way .
I am only going to stess to him that if she means nothing then he should be able to be with me and fill my EN (other then getting rid of her)

If he says she means nothing then when we are together work on us and show me I am important and don't hold back .( says sometimes needs to hold back cause he feels guilty cause she is still an interuption )

3- If he is going to lead a double life , then he needs to separate the 2 of us this should be enough to drive him crazy . And hope fully get her to LBed .

4- PLAN PLAN PLAN I know that still is not the hole thing but I want to see 180 and plan A toghether I need to read more in next couple of days and see what I can do .

He did see her last night , WOW i was so shocked LOL . Home in an hour , but the snow is coming so need to be prepared .
talk later

OK - my H is a head case , I mean I always knew he had a way of thinking that was "different " then most people in my life . I knew this and always listened and anilized and tried to make sense of him .
H is not one who can express problems and delemas well and offten runs and sweeps .( I have went over this in some of my post already)

Last night was basicly quit OW did not call all day ( from what I know) Ok so went hole day never mentioning her . Comes home , dinner talk about day ect. He goes on PC I watched tv in my room came down later wacthed vidoe together , bed.

Here goes he can't sleep , Starts saying he is having panic attacks about SNOW , I know OW is going to call tommorw and that my day will be ruined We will fight she will want to see me and my life will be hell .

He then goes on to say this is why I just pray every night I will die in my sleep , so I don't got to do this day after day .He laughed and said do me a favor and pray I die , I said , no I pray you live to be 120 years old .LOL

H knew and said thanks thats got to be cause you want me to live through tis mess forever .

Anyway he started talking about her , I said we are not going to fight tommorw because ther is NOTHING I can do this is your life and your situation and deal with it as you need to .

I can not force my will apon you only tell you and you already know what I want and how I feel , ultmately this is your decision . I can not force you to stop seeing her .

I just would like to know how do you sit with her and nothing goes on , I mean you lusted for her lived with her loved her ? I know I would not be able to trust myself around someone I was just intamate with .

He said , thats where your wrong and don't under stand I never lusted or loved .

It was a freindship to me I was helping her get her life together and then things I said to her was just out of pity she fell in love and then i started to feel worse .

She has alot of pride and I think she hates her self for getting involed with me and telling everyone they were wrong about me , that she finnaly met a man who was good and kind and understanding , things got out of control and I felt more guilty .

I explained to him that I think what he is doing to her now is wrong , she has been abuseb by men (beaten) and now you are emotionally abusing her .He said , I know that is how it will look to her if i tell her I am home and that is her worst fear that SHE F up again in her life . I don't want to be that cause of her pain . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

We talked alot then about how it affects me the only wierd things he said was like , M is just a job but one you go to and don't want to work just sit and relax (WOW) And I do feel guilt for you but we will always be toghether so i can go back and show you any time (holy $hit batman)

I care about nothing , love I do love you but theres no prince charming fairy tail bs , sex who cares and family life well I don't need to be around anyone .

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> And I do feel guilt for you but we will always be together so i can go back and show you any time
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">UGH. Also another "UGH" to the "hope I die in my sleep". One good thing–it sounds like he's reaching out to you (albeit in a self pitying it's all about me me me sorta way).

When I felt like H was getting a little, shall we say, relaxed in the situation (lots of contact with OW, me plan Aing, probably enjoying having 2 women), I started talking separation. I started discussions with him about separate sleeping arrangements, separating our finances, etc. I basically let him know (indirectly) that if he kept his butt on the fence, I was going to push him over in the other direction. I'm not telling you to do this, it's just what worked for me with my H, and your H has basically said what he feels––he can take as long as he wants to do something about the situation because you're not going to do anything about it. I think my H had started feeling the same way, which is why I handled it the way I did.

I know you've heard it before, but as long as you tolerate $h!t from him, he's gonna keep dishing it out. IMO, he needs to know that you will not tolerate this situation indefinitely. From everything I know about your situation, I don't think he's going to make a decision until he feels he absolutely has to.

Does he still think you are going to file?

To be honest I do think he feels I am considering it still .

I cut off my post this morning getting to long .

I did respond to him in a very well friendly advice way , a state ment if you will.

I said, I feel that maybe you have to many emotions to deal with maybe some professional help would be in order .( no response ) I then said , I am not taking anything you said offenceively , but I want you to know your veiw of life and having time to show someone how you feel when you get around to it is only one sided .

Another person may feel that life is to short and does not want to miss out on thier hopes and dreams and basicly move on to try and find there own peace with them self and find happiness on there own .

Someone beging their for you is not your choice its theirs and they can choose to leave their past behind . He said , the grass is not always greener on the other side , we are tied together .
I said, always we have kids . But when one partner decides to crush the hopes and dreams of another instead of supporting them then it is not healthy for that person to stay together .

good night ,

I knew it was time for convo to end . I would have gotten crazy and it was starting to be to mature for him LOL.

He said good night and we will always say toghether .

I thought alot about him today and I said yesterday I need to take a break and observe not do anything .

Just live my life till the PLAN strikes me right maybe a week or so .

I decided I am not going to be unhappy , maybe that part of my life but , I need to hold on tight and look at everything else .

If I want to read to my kids at night or take them out and he don't come I have to relize he is loosing missing out on all the good life has to offer . I shouldn't miss out on that cause he is to depressed to see what is going to pass him by and I am not going to argue about it .

If he thinks I am doing it to be spightful then it is his problem . He is going to let life pass him by, very sad actually now I pitty him .

Things I know I can not react to ,another words do I think he will see OW tonight YES even though it didn't snow its FRI> so should I be suprised NO .......I want to react but why bother it doesn't prove my point he is to FOGGED in .

Any other thought any one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well 10pm do you know where your S is ? OH yes let me answer that WITH OW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes as I expected and it was A 5 min. visit 5 hours ago . (and still counting ) Getting ready to take a shower and turn in soon as I feel it will be a 3am or over night one . That is probbly what the TALK was about last night getting me set up for a long one .

I find myself angry one minute then the next I breath and just think how said , that a person chooses to live in this mess (him not me) Why wouldn't you leave and start life over be happy be with who you want to be with . She with out a dought loves him why not be with her if she makes you feel this way ?

Oh well he has to get it sooner or later . I think the longer I observe I will start to question if he is worth my love .

I know he is cake eating and fence sitting and I know like LOST said, he has to no the decision won't be his forever .
I will I really will get off my own fence soon !!

I to am fence sitting that should be what it is called for BS as well when we are having those thoughts about D or PLAN B .

I don't think but not shore it will ever go PLAN B I think D will be the next step for us , for it has gone on to long . well getting depressed got to go ,

Thanks LOST it seems to become a one on one post over here LOL

I don't know I have debaited so many times to stop posting , I read so many others and just see such a difference , maybe I still have not fund my place .

When this first happened to me (before MB) My freinds knew and the response was I wouldn't take that **** or I wouldn't take him back .

I would think to my self I wish there was some where to go where people knew what I was going through and now I thought I found it and I am basicly getting the same .

I post to others giving then courge to go on that I think there fight is worth it if they love there WS .

Ok, I get that you think replies to your posts are negative. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I know you love your H. And I have never said to dump him and get on with your life. I do think there is still hope. The point I'm trying to get across is keep up the fight, but sometimes you gotta use mew tactics.

As far as OW loving him, I don't know about that one. It's possible, but from what you've said about her, it sounds more like she's using him. He's helped her out immensely, and it sounds to me like the more she gets, the more she wants. JMO.

I really do want things to work out between you and your H. I just think that things have been going on the way they are for so long that changing the dynamics of the situation (ie him thinking he has you on a string forever and can jump off the fence when he decides it suits him) would make him see things differently.

3,

(((((hugs)))))

boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

I know how you feel. I was terrified of losing my FWS. I did not set boundaries, and although we are in recovery, I am still suffering because I did not set some boundaries.

Once again, I will tell you that only you will know when you can't take anymore. I understand how much you are hurting. I really know how you feel.

How do you do it. I lasted about 2 months before I did plan B and sent him a letter.
He was with me within a week, but contact lasted for 2 1/2 more months.

You have a lot more tolerance than I did. I was terrified to do plan B because I didn't want to lose my husband.

I have no advice, I just feel for you.

You are good, you are worthy of love and faithfulness. Once again, your WS is making his own choices. You deserve better.

Courage.

I'm praying that God will help you to make the right decisions.

You are a great gal. Don't forget that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Well good morning all , LOST , was not saying anything wrong I know you have been supporting and I am verrrrrrrry greatful!!!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

MISS M Thank You as always for prays and hugs . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

friday night or should I say SAT> 2am is when he decided to stroll in . I said , nothing at first see his respose to me , no I am sorry little kiss hi and well see ya going to go on pc (WOW)

Said he fell asleep 10pm at table and woke up nasty she was recording him snore . so he fliped out and left . THATS it where is the excuse , apology , the remorse <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> It was supose to be a 5 min stop by and now he says she saw new phone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> The line of BSSSSSSSSSSSSS just goes beyond stupid says he did not give the # to her yet but she is pushing for it ,

What a F'in child why all the games ,
I miss him so much the way I know we could be if he loved me , and This push and pull thing is killing me .

Her and ME , what does this B!tch have , what is wrong with him , giving all this up or at least put in jeportey and yes I think he is well aware of putting this in jeporty.

I might start another post in "QUESSTIONS" one more out reach for some other feed back have to write it up first . I don't know or just give in to this and wait for the summer pack kids up and spend summer in PA with MI and tell her every thing at that point , kids will flip out being away from freinds and other family .

Hey 3!

Haven't been able to post for a few days--another keyboard bit the dust (with a little help from my dachsund <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ) How are things going?

Hey girl , well started a post in "GQ"

I don't know if I will get any more insight to any questions there , or if insight is what I even need . Maybe I have the answers just need to see things clearer .

Any how ,Been Lb again a few days ago , then i asked H to commit to dead line with this situation (OW) , and well the commitment to M he says that he is commited to that he love me and choose me thats why he is home .(what ever )
Maybe with FOG gone he will understand ful commitment to M .

The dead line is 3 MONTHS , he went for 6 I said no I don't have the energy any more .

So there it is 3 mons. If he can't get her to go his way ( thinging she will give up) then he will tell her he is home OR ignore her and fall off the face of the earth and if I find contact behind my back then I will confront her .

After 3 mons. he is to not see , or speak to her for ANY reason at ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there it is , In 3 mon. he etheir is looking to get rid of me if this was a game or he will go through with this . So now I must PLAN A AAAAAAAA.

AND yes this is my final fight for my M , after this if he lets US down then their is no us . I won't and can't go on with this any longer .

But I do know the next 3 mon.are hell .

If he is doing it to shut me up and try to fight with me he will do everything to piss me off and I know then 3 mon. is to get rid of me .

If things continue the way they are and get better without the love busts then I know he is going to live up to the agreement and relize what is really going on .

I need so much to have the trueth and if I plan a , I don't think he will have any choice left but to tell me the trueth if he wants to leave at the end of 3 mon.

will have no excuses other then honesty .

There is ONE LARGE PROBLEM SEX .
I want it and now he says since he came home it is not important .

Understand it was one of my issues that I saw was wrong with M when he was gone I never gave in to his need for it (everyday) then cause I was so fat I had no no no desire for it at all .

Problem now is this is a man I know and always wanted it all the time , then has A and now tells me that part of him changed I don't by it .

when he first came home it was getting more offten then he said he had guilt for what he did to me and thought that I would think it was fack or the resaon why he left so he did not want to all the time. Then he had guilt cause he would see her and say its not right to do that to you .

I told him sex is my choice and if I am over that part it shouldn't stop him , if he truely wanted me . Now there more excuses and ways he avoids it . I think more and more he is guilty cause he is sleeping with her .

He will hold me kiss me but not to intamate so it won't go no where .

This becomes a BIG love bust for me , cause 1 I want him , 2 he would be with me at a drop of a hat in the past , 3 we would argue and 2 seconds later he would be right ther for it now 360 .

????????????????????????????????????????????????

Red flag ? Or guilt ? Or was she to good he can't forget? When this A started (when I suspectd) he never came near me that was my FLAG , its not totally like that now but there is rejection . (alot)

I sleep naked , he will put covers on me before he snuggles so he don't touch my skin . It is sometimes like hes scared he will feel for me , like he is guilty for her . (that is how I feel)

So what do you think , before I consume anymore pages LOL .

THOUGHTS I wish I could get more WS and seinor MB members .

NOT THAT I DON"T LOVE TO HERE FROM YOU <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Tahnks so much for being here your a life line LOL really

Snow and he only saw her for 5 min . yesterday

OK just when you think it will go down hill on its own ,H will never be normal he goes and talks normal then , becomes insane all at the same time .

Got to try and make it shorter then it is ,

Fri. takes OW to pick up tax check left work 1 hour early for her . (his mom was in so he had to come home on time )

Sat. OW starts calling to ask what he is doing for B-day on SUN. telling him to come over when he drops off his kids. They argue , she keeps on calling . He starts to tell her ok what ever I'll see .

sun. morning bright and early callling begins .
And now she starts with bring your work cloths with you no need to go all the way back home to your apt. work is right by my house .

Now here comes the fun .

We start talking he starts crying , his life is misarable , he can't take the presure , he needs to run from everyone . (pity party )

Got to the bottom of some things I was not able to understand . Like when I give him excuses to give to her he says he can't , she will see right through them .

Well now it is because that is all the things he told me when with her and he was lying to me about seeing someone , so if he uses them on her she will know he is home .

Anyway explained a couple of other things like the guilt he has for me but hates it that I am right and gets angree that I look at him and see him as a pig and he knows he is and feels like one and that pisses him off .

He doesn't make mistakes and he did so he wants to erase it and he can't and that eats him up inside knowing he has to live with it forever .

He hates him self for ever getting involved with her and not taking control of it in the beging ,when he started to relize it was wrong .

Alot of other stuff he told me .

I responded after he seemed to be done .

I explained people make mistakes all of us ,and I forgave him and knew it was a bad choice and it was not who he is .
This A was not going to decide who he is , its what he does now that will decide that .

If he continues to lie to OW and me and himself then this is the man he has become , and I do not love or even care for that man .

If he is telling me the truth ,I explained that I understand and respect him for the guilt he feels to OW ( that he hurt and lied to her) I understand that he did not set out to hurt her but it did happen and now the only way I think he can ever have respect forhimself is to tell the trueth and start from there .

He feels he can't and doesn't even see that as an option . Because he told me he has convinced himself she will go away on her own and he will not allow himself to loose me in the process . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Anyway all the talking and where did he go , yes to her house and did he take his work cloths you bet .............. I ironed them for him to , I wasn't going to stick around for him to walk in the door and abuse me in the morning blaming me he is running late for work and had to run back and forth for cloths .

well thats my weekend the very short version ,Today I started by ignoring calls just did not want to talk to him .

Starts out the same I miss you , I love you please hang in there for me for us .