Hi just a wifey!

You wrote:
I wanted to wade into the question we all ask..."WHY?". It is a very important question...however, it's one that you will never, I repeat, NEVER, receive what for you is a satisfactory answer. You will ALWAYS see all the other options which any reasonable, logical, person would have seen and choosen. You will be looking for a reasonable, logical answer...and you won't find one. As an affair is NOT reasonable or logical.

I found out last night that the above statement you made is more true than I would ever know.
I will never get a reason that will make me understand.
If I went by the logic of my H then I guess I would have had 1000's of affairs by now. *sigh*
Even in my darkest moments, the hardest times of our marrriage, it was never an option for me to think in terms of turning to another man.
Men are so different from us and I don't think I'll EVER understand how their minds work.
Today has been a better day. Thank goodness!
Member worthatry gave me some good advise yesterday. I looked at my H last night and very gently told him that I knew he was hurting over this too. The look on his face was incredulous.
He got misty eyed and told me he loved me while hugging me. It took a lot for me to tell him that because I am still so overwhelmed with hurtful feelings. He is trying really hard and I am thankful for that. This was a slow burning thing that came to a boil and I really need him to understand that healing from this won't be fast or easy.
I will continue to search for a counselor who will meet my needs.
There is so much to my story that I haven't even touched on here on this board. I will get to where I can tell it all, but for now I appreciate you and everyone else who has taken their time to help me.
Hope we talk again really soon.

With kindest regards,

DLynn

Hi Amy,

Thanks so much for your concern. I am doing better today.
I printed the EN quiz and talked to my H about it. He is receptive. He made the comment that he was sure he didn't meet my emotional needs. LOL
Sometimes he doesn't, but that doesn't make me want to go jump in bed with another man.
I realized after reading so many of the posts here that the stage is the same but the faces change. In other words, we all have just about the same story, with the exception of just a few.
My H asked me "what can I do to make it better?" I have no answer for him. He puts me at a loss of words. I would like to tell him to wave a magic wand and take all the hurt from my heart and the visions of him and my friend from my mind. If it were that easy! I wish it were.
I am sorry that you have been through the same. I wish with all my heart that there was an easy answer for all of us who are hurting.
I also would like to say that this board, in just 2 days has helped me more than anyone has. I believe it's because the few people I've confided this in are too close to me. They love me and are unable to give advice without emotion. It hurts them, that I am hurting. Sometimes I think help comes from those on the outside looking in and from those who are directly affected by adultery.
Thank you again for your kindness. Maybe one day soon I can help someone on this board too. For now I'm not sure I know fully how to help myself.

From my heart to yours- A HUGE THANK YOU!

DLynn