Hi Sue
I sure miss you.I'm off this weekend,if you read this and you are able call me so we can talk. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Does he wish he was somewhere else? with someone else? does he regret marrying me? Does he think marriage is some huge joke not to be taken seriously.


Do you wish you were somewhere else?

Do you regret marriying him?

Does it feel like your marriage is a joke, because of the way he has treated you in the past?


You are still there, but what exactly does that mean?


Sometimes the qestions we ask can tell us a lot about our own feelings. Do these help you define, and understand your own feelings?

Understand about the job.
Still feel you need time for yourself, just like Ginger.


Wonder how you are doing on lots of other things.
- things I know you you have had thoughts about.

How are you doing PERSONALLY, on the things you would like to fix about you?

Do these things, and the good or bad feelings they generate have anything to do with your thoughts on marriage?

SS

Sue,
If you can get up the energy, come tell us how you are.

SS

right now, I am tired. WH caught a cold, then kids caught it, and I now have it. Right now, I sleep alot.

Otherwise, I keep evaluating and reevaluating what do I want for me, what do I want from him, what do I want for the kids and what do I want out of this marriage.

I mainly believe he does not deserve me or the kids and I don't deserve this garbage.

Sorry to hear of the cold that does not make things any easier,especially where you are working.

As for what you said.......you are right you deserve more,so do the kids and your H in my opinion has it way to good.

Get some more rest. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Feeling some better, still tired.

Short note before picking up the kids from daycare

WH asked me if I wanted to go on a trip if we could afford it for our anniversary. As he put it, "a second honeymoon, or maybe the first one we never had".

I've been here too many times before to get too hopeful that this is the beginning of the end of the A.

Dropping off some more application forms. Hopefully one of these will produce the job I want

Hi Sue,
It is always good to hear from you. Did you know that?

Feeling some better, still tired.

Do you smile much? That's a good indicator for me. When my daughter says "did, why don't you smile more," then I know I need to do something different.

Last time I ..............I should probably keep my mouth shut, sorry.

WH asked me if I wanted to go on a trip if we could afford it for our anniversary. As he put it, "a second honeymoon, or maybe the first one we never had".

So he has moments when his thoughts are on the right track. I would take him up on it if I were you.
Like one lady (on one of these threads, but I don't know who, or which one) said about sex. She said "I could say no, but then I would be angry, and deprived. If I say yes, I am just angry."

I've been here too many times before to get too hopeful that this is the beginning of the end of the A.

So, it sounds loke you know some things???

Dropping off some more application forms. Hopefully one of these will produce the job I want

Slow, and steady. I know you hate to be the one that always makes it work, I know that, but remember why you do it. It is as much for you, as it is for anyone. You are that good, and you know it. When you have the ability, it is required of you to use it. God always seems to work that way.

Are you going to sluff the bonfire again this year?
I can't believe it (says SS with a big teasing grin) Prompt cerri to do it again, just for Sue, and she may not even go. (SS laughs out loud, and thinks, "I hope she doesn't hit me with her purse."

Hey, if you are tired, what are you going to do about it? Where does H want to go?

Please don't be mad at me for teasing you so much. It's about time, I say.

SS

He wants to go on a cruise. I let him know I was very interested. We looked some up last night.

More hopeful news. WH bought a timeshare wither years ago, before we got married. I knew he bought the timeshare, I didn't know he bought it with her. When I found out after we were married that he bought it with her, I told him I wanted him to sell to her, or him buy her out. I did not want them owning this together. Well, nothing happened. Yesterday, he told me, he was thinking of giving it up and us buying one and asked me if I would help he watch for one come up for sale that we could afford. Of course I agreed to this one. Anything to get them seperated from this arrangement suites me just fine.

Going back to bed

Oh buy the way, I smile alot, even when life looks bleak. I try to keep the situation from controlling me.

So, tell us about the cruise !!!

You sounded better in the last post, but tired.

I keep expecting to hear you got a job working half the hours, and paying double. So ???

SS

Oh, and tell us about the cruise - Did I say that already?

I don't think the cruise will happen, just like everything with him. All talk and no action.

Besides, we had D-day number 2.

I'm not sure where things stand right now or what I want.

Sue, I'm so sorry to hear this! I know you don't like your decisions picked apart on here so I don't know how much you'll post about it. Just know there are many here who care about you and have your happiness and best interest at heart.

{{{Sue}}}

Hi Sue,
You already know that I come and tease you so you will know that we care, and that we are thinking about you. I know it won't cure anyting, but I do want you to understand........we really do care.

I worry about you a lot, and I pray for you a lot, but I think I understand why you have been distant lately.

As has been said, we offer support - we hope it helps.

Hugs - and may you find rest tonight.

SS

Sue
My very dear friend you know I am here for you.I support YOU no matter what.I understand why you have done everything that you have done.All I wish for you is happiness true happiness.

There are few really good things in life one of the best is a true friend and people who care,you have both in me and all of us here,next is chocolate and I will send you some if you want <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I promised I wouldn't offer any advice to you Sue unless you asked me....and I still promise to do that. But I hope you won't mind if I just stop by and scream AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!

I'm so truly sorry this has happened sweetie. Let me know if you're every ready for a lynching...I think I know a posse I could gather up...SAB, SS, Ginger...you IN?

IM IN!!!!!!!!!!

I'm in. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

SS

Right now I am trying to concentrate on the positives in my life. I just had an interview for a differetn position. I will hear about it sometime next week. I hope that they called to get names for references from my current job is a positive sign that they are seriously considering me. I was told I will hear next week on the job.

I've started looking around for an apartment for me and the kids to move to. I'm going to wait a little bit. I'm not going to wait too long. If I get this job, maybe I can afford to keep the house myself.

I've decided once I hear about this job, and then I can decide if where the kids and I will live, at that point, I will tell him to leave if he does not end the affair and I want proof that the affair is over. I have also decided if he says it is over and does not provide proof, I will send her a copy of my marriage certificate along with a letter telling her I know, and I confronted WH and he told me that he wants the marriage to work. I will not do this in secrecy. I will tell WH, that since he could not provide proof, then I will do what I have to do to ensure that she is told the truth. I will also tell him, that if I only suspect an affair we are finished. I don't need proof any more, suspicion is all it will take at this point to totally destroy it all.

WH, discovered that I knew the affair never ended, he told me we were finished, and he tried, but since I did not trust him, we are finished. I told him he did not try, because if he did, he would have ended it. I told him that he was not 100% committed to making this marriage work because he was seeing her. Now, he talks of us selling the house and buying a house 45 minutes north/east of where we live now, and it puts him closer to where she lives. Like I will agree to that one, (when pigs fly). The house is also about 100,000 more than the house we currently own, so I dont' know how he thinks we can afford that. I guess we are winning the lotto or something.

I'm thinking of giving him my wedding ring back. At this point, that ring has no meaning. I have not worn it in months. I don't think he has even noticed.

Thanks for being there everyone, and the lynching sounds good to me.

I can't believe that he thinks everything is okay.

It is time for me to move foward for me. I'm just going to wait before looking at aparments until I hear on this job. Who knows, maybe I cannot afford the house even with this job.

So good to see an update from you.

I know how very hard this is.But if there is one thing I have always admired in you it is your strength.
You can do this.It is not fair that you are being treated this way.

Best of luck w/the new job.Is it at a hospital or the same place you work now??

Please keep us updated,we all care so much for you Sue.
You can call me anytime you know that.

I think Ginger said it better than I could -

Lots of times I wish I had better words to say things.

There's no way to describe the unfairness of all of this. No way to describe your hurt - how hard it is to continue every day while stuff continues to happen.

Ginger is right about you being strong, but I wish there were days where you didn't have to be.

Wish I had the words - don't know how to say my feelings.

Support and strength from miles away............

SS