Diane:

The thing that gets me so down is the fact that I became out of control in the end. I knew she was begining to start another relationship with another married man at work but she kept denying.
And why should I have cared???

Maybe it would have been different if she told me the truth......doubt it.

What I do know is that she did make me feel things I have never experienced with my current wife and my current wife had no desire to.

It was the simple things.....a cold beer ready for me when I arrived. The pillows ready when we watched the country music videos. Lunch and phone calls to get together.

Why did it end so violently.....

Proabably because the way it started and continued was inmature.

I'm confused...do you and your wife post under the same name?

You wrote...
"What I do know is that she did make me feel things I have never experienced with my current wife and my current wife had no desire to."

Believe me I thought the EXACT same thing. That my husband had no desire to be affectionate, what have you. He is surprising me though. Give her a chance. But you have to tell her or communicate it some how. Remember she can't read your mind. Diane

Diane 1223:

I just feel so "empty" inside right now. It's been 6 weeks now. The loss of the job that I really loved, my betrayal of my wife and just the feeling of hopelessness and emptiness inside.

I really don't feel like doing much. Can't even sit still anymore....anxiety.

I am coming to grips that the feelings/experiences while wrong, cruel and in a fantasy state will never be experienced.

The simple acts of kindness. My wife doesn't try to do any of things I experienced. Just ordering a beer for me seems impossible.

With kids/bills and the house, we will never be able to do some of things experienced.

WE BOTH GAVE UP!!

<small>[ January 31, 2005, 05:06 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Sorry....I am slowly giving up.

Well Randy, therein lies your problem!

Everyone here has given you excellent encouragement and ways to work on your situation.

We cannot make you do the right thing. We cannot make you get off your butt and get a job. We cannot make you stop torturing your wife, whining about your OW. Only RANDY can choose whether to act in a positive or negative way.

I'm afraid I don't have much sympathy for you but I do want you to know that I hope you do not just give up.

You have a family that needs you. So what if your wife still gives you grief. It's still so fresh in her mind...she has to vent! You have to know how you hurt her. And all you can think about and write about is how "special" the OW made you feel and that your wife doesn't make you feel "special". Well, no wonder. You're still fantasizing over this slut who dumped you for another married man and when your wife hears or reads this, it's like a slap in the face. You're worrying about what a lowlife did to you MORE than you're worrying about what you did to your wife.

I don't know what more can be said, except when UPS brings that long package to your wife, watch out! I'm send her an honest to goodness 2x4, no cyber 2x4 mind you, but the real thing...and I betcha she'll know what to do with it!

Best Wishes!

RR,
Please go back and read my reply (lilymarie) on page 4 of your "Group... I'm addicted...." You're in grief, in mourning.

Maybe you and your wife aren't meant to be together. I know that in my first marriage my needs changed and I wasn't willing to "settle" for what my spouse could give me emotionally. He wasn't willing and/or able to make changes. We were at a stand still. I have found, however, that I still struggle with many similar issues in my subsequent relationships.

<small>[ January 31, 2005, 05:08 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

RandyRail, you are not alone. How did your job end? Were you fired or did you quit, did you get caught at work? I am sorry for asking such personal questions but I am currently with someone at work, and I to love my job. I am having doubts about this A and I need help to help me decide what to do.

holy cow s888!

If you have doubts about your affair then get out!
That should be a clear signal to you! Geee's!
If you love your job that much then maybe you should think about what this affair might cost you!
Now what about your other half? Think about them!
But do you really care? Whoops dumb question, of course not! Stop the affair be honest with your other half and use this site to help deal with the consequence of the affair! They're good! Do not use this site for negitive advice!
I think you know what to do but are to chicken to do anything about it!

"How did your job end?"

The job I fell in love with that paid over $60,000 per year...I was fired as a direct result of the woman ending the affair and wanting to start another affair with a married man in the same office. Not only was I fired but the man she wanted to start the new affair with, was also asked to leave. He was a Supervisor for the temp agency.

And the woman???? She was given a written warning. No doubtly because I played back a message to the HR Manager which included a threat to my wife and threating to expose my employment past to HR.

"did you get caught at work?"

Everyone at work was aware of the affair. The company had no policies in place.

I am sorry for asking such personal questions but I am currently with someone at work, and I to love my job.

STAY AWAY FROM OFFICE AFFAIRS.........PERIOD!!!!!

THINK ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE???????????? THINK ABOUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE AFFAIR ENDS!!!!!

I am having doubts about this A and I need help to help me decide what to do.[/QB][/QUOTE]

STOP THE AFFAIR!!!!!!!

Begin another affair...
With your wife!!! Love is work and it is sooooo much more than 'just a feeling' - love is a COMMITMENT to MAKE IT no matter what. That is exactly what your Wedding Vows say: that you forsake all others, love and cherish ONE PERSON only and that you will do those things in all kinds of situations.
Marriages DO survive affairs. Marriages work when BOTH mates sit down and work at it.
To RandyR and your Wife: you CAN do this!
I pray and hope your marriage is saved and you two learn something from that that will help you GUARD YOUR HEART and cherish live with the one you love (each other)
Peace, and Blessings to you both.
Harold

Randy...
Begin another Affair - with the one woman who truly loves you and wants you...
Your Wife!
Trust me, it works!
Harold