T1,

Your MB bro' has been watchin out for you and contacted me today. We are both worried and want to know how you are doing.

Glad you made it through the race in one piece. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> The fact that you did what you set out to accomplish really brings a lot of satisfaction.

T1, don't let the fact that your H is acting like a jerk stop you from enjoying meeting your goal. Shame on him not to be there to support you.

Nonetheless, you have us here and a few who know what you went through can lend more support.

For me, just surviving these next few weeks will be an accomplishment. We look forward to our next meeting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


Hugz,
L.

Hi guys!
Thanks. I've been kind of laying low. I'm coming down with something. I've been fightin it for a while, I even felt it a bit the day before the marathon but today it hit me like a ton of bricks. Sore throat, achey. I'm making a big pot of chicken soup right now, hoping some comfort food will help me feel better. I think everything is just catching up with me, the stress at work, home, marathon.

Yes, I want to come to metreon on the 18th. Orchid, did I hear you may have different plans that day? I'm looking forward to seeing you guys again and meeting a few more! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Oh, by the way! Orchid, congratulations, YOU are my 100th poster on this thread! You win a big bowl of chicken soup!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Chicken soup!?!?!? That's what we had for dinner! Not homemade though, I had to work late and H fixed it for himself and son. I get turkey pot pie.

Hope you feel better soon. Chicken soup is good for the soul. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I do make it homemade when I have some time and I hate having it from the can but sometimes we have to make sacrifices.

By the way, I am NOT skipping out on the Metro. Had too much fun there the last time... you all just can't keep me out past my curfew - LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
This BS can key into the weee hours of the morning but not sit at a table with chatty MBers past 10:30pm - LOL!!! Go figure! Next time, I am getting a big cup of starbucks mocha w/an extra shot of choco. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

U riding up with us again, T1?

L.

Hi T1,
Your bay area MB friends are among the best here, I am glad you found them.

I wish we could have been there at the finish line for you and taken you out to dinner. Maybe next time.

When I read your posts now, I still see pain, but I see a strong person that is copping well - or as well as we can for what is going on. I think very highly of you, can't say that enough.

Set your personal goals for what you want to get our of your life and go after them. Anyone that can run marathons and improve as you have done can have a good life.

I believe in you.

SS

Thanks for all the support guys.
I go to my attorneys office today to submit the response to the divorce. We have had alot of traffic in the house but no offers yet. I hope it sells fast. I'm anxious to go to plan B and move on with the next stage of my life.

Orchid, I'd love to drive up with you guys again if you don't mind. I'm directionally challenged, especially in the city. That was a blast last time. LuLu is hilarious and I can't wait to hear what's new with her and see you all again.

My mom told me the other day that she still love's my husband and cares about what happens to him. She's dissapointed in the decisions he has made and can't stand to see him hurt me like he has but she still cares about him. I think she kind of feels sorry for him as I do because he doesn't see his issues and will continue to have pain in his life. This is a woman that would move heavan and earth to ensure my happiness. I really feel like if she can still treat him with love than I should be able to as well.

Everything that's happening keeps getting more and more unreal. I feel like i'm living someone elses life. I want MY life back.

Hi T1,

I totally can relate to your statement. We often feel like we stepped out of our lives and into a soap opera set without the pay! YUCK <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

The point is that it is real, too real and yes we all want our lives back. In reality what we want is our lives back and better. Why better? Because we don't want to go through this stuff again. Something triggered the A before and surely you don't want that to happen again.

This is why plan A then plan B is good for the BS. It is a hard and quite a painful process but in the end, the result is that the BS can eventually lose the BS title. That in itself is a goal. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Sorry for the late response sweetie, I have a massive sinus or something headache today and can barely get my head off the pillow. I am also mad that I missed my meeting this morning. Reading is not real good for me right now, so I need to sign off. Call me if you need. We are going to be at the Santana Row Farmer's market later this morning.

Hugz,
L.

Last night I came home and we were both hungry so we decided to go out to eat. He picked a fight in the restaurant centering on the spousal support being requested in the divorce. He made a comment about how he should have divorced me three years ago. We both lost our appetites and asked for the check. We took our food to go and he started driving like a maniac bat out of hell! I was holding on for dear life. The tires were squealing and I was crying and he just tells me to "shut up!". I scream that he's trying to get me killed and to let me out! He screeches the car across to lanes jumps a median, our to go containers are flying, and pulls into a shopping center parking lot and tells me to get out. I quickly leave and he screeches away. I walk the lonely, angry four miles to the house.

He apologized when I got home but I made up my mind on that walk home that I'm DONE with him.
He will never be able to make me happy again. He lies, he cheats, he treats me terribly and I am so done with it all. The sooner we sell and I am away from him the better. You're right Orchid. I want my life back but better. Better without him. I deserve someone better.

<small>[ October 12, 2003, 04:02 PM: Message edited by: troubled1 ]</small>

T1,

Oooh my dear, I am sooo sorry this happened. I recall a roadside incident also. I am sure H does not want me to tell all here but I had when it happened.

His actions are now spilling over into public viewing. This shows he is on his downward spiral.

What I would do now is remind him how happy he is with his decision. This D stuff and selling the house are decisions made without your consent. So when he gets angry, look baffled. Ask him if this is how he acts when he is happy because it is confusing to you. (babbling of course)

One day your H will recall his abusive and violent behavior. Let me ask you, when he apologized, what did you say?

All his behavior did was strengthen your resolve. Of course that may have been his demented plan. Or he is too fogged to know better. Remember this, if he has to apologize, then he knows his actions were not correct. Remember this, it is important.

I have to go take a test right now but will have my cell on. You can call at any time. We can meet up later to chat if you would like. Ok?

We are here to help you out. Let us know what you need.

Hugz,
L.

Ugggh! What a horrible evening I'm having. H keeps spewing hatred at me. He asked me to leave the house tonight and stay somewhere else. I told him I wasn't leaving my home. He left without saying anything, and I don't think he took anything with him to stay over night. I'm not sure about that.

Then I got worried because shortly after he left I heard sirens in the neighborhood so I called his cell phone to see if he was allright and if he was coming him only to listen to him spew more hatred.

t1,

I stick in my apartment b/c I have 2 D and I was afraid to loose my custody. I was swallowing my guts evertime my exW went to go to Wallgreen <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> . You don't have to !. Bring you dog and moved out !. He has to "pay" spousal support and your moving expense. Talk to your lawyer as part of the respond that he/she draft up or added as addendum. Put it down as staying in house is hostile.

Even now you should put a plan B in place ... you are chewing up your LB$ to him.

-rh-

<small>[ October 13, 2003, 12:44 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

Well we have an accepted offer on our home today. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

We close on Nov 11th. I'll be moving as soon as I can secure a place.

t1,

You know this coming but still doesn't make it easy. You should do Dv Financing !, Have your basic living expenses (transportation/housing/debt payment) high and your income lower (specially if you are a contractor) until your Dv is finalized.

You should move out asap since living there would LB'ng each other to death.

-rh-

T1,

{{{{{hugz}}}} I am sorry for this hon, you know we all can see that the 'emperor' has no clothes.

Of course this could mean that the family will lose their home and the shirt off his back. Still you will have your friends, family and wits about you. T1, you are a survivor.

Maybe you don't want to hear any of this now. Ok. When you are ready, we are here, ok?

Hugz,
L.

Hi,
Here's an update for you guys. I told you that we sold our house and now we have an offer pending with a close date of 11/12. I have been looking at condo's this week and put an offer on one and it was accepted. So my anticapated close date is 11/12 as well, unless my lending can get through sooner. My mother and my husbands mother are both flying out for Thanksgiving. They are best friends and planned this months ago. They will most likely stay with me and I have invited my husband over for Thanksgiving dinner with us if I am in my new place.

Things have calmed down between us and we are trying to work together to get things done now.

I look forward to seeing some of you Bay Area poeple tomorrow! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

T1,

I found the book ... call me.

-rh-

Some days I just don't feel strong enough to deal with what I'm going through. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hi T1,

Need to talk? I am home.

L.

Hi T1,

You sound so strong most of the time, but I realize there are bad times. You don't say much about what your H does and says. You don't say much now about your thoughts on D.

Have you asked him lately if he would like to start over? Are you even interrested in that?

Wishing you well.

SS

T1,

How R U doing? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.