bump

bump .. I'll update later

LC,

I'm worried about you....please give us an update when you can.

Star*Fish,

How are you? Merry Christmas! There really is not a lot to say.. my wife got an injunction against me got me kicked out of my house.. saying that our fighting was causing emotional stress. LOL I didn't know that I was still fighting with her ( I had stopped and we were getting along at least I thought so ) .. that was back on Dec 4th a day befor my birthday .. fun, fun.

I found a new place to live it's ok .. just not home. I have my Children every other week .. so in the weeks I don't have them it's pretty depressing .. I'm not sure if I should be in Plan A still or Plan B? I'm hating christmas at the moment (sad part it's my favorite Holiday) and starting to really not like my wife at all.

I've been torn between buying her a present or not .. normally I would have boughten her quite a few but ... I know she has bought OM one .. I doubt she is giving me one .. so I don't know what I should do .. I still have been plan A'ing her but it is alot harder to do when I don't live there anymore..

That is a pretty much the sum of it with a few bumps here and there.. the normal break downs and why me's ..LOL .. I do hope you and everyone else here has a Merry Christmas !

Hey L&C -

Just wanted to say howdy and Merry Christmas. Time and concentrating on making yourself a better father and man will be the best present you can give to everyone...including yourelf.

Remember, HIS will, not yours.

Gib

Merry Christmas to you too. I know this is a hard one. Personally....I think you still belong in Plan A a bit longer. It isn't time to move to B until she has a good impression of you....and right now....ah...I don't think she does. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Sending you blessings!

Star - to be honest, I have no idea what her impression of me is .. one day she misses me and tells me ... that she loves me and misses me. The next she is back to hating me.. ( I'm assuming those are the days she sees om ) I did leave her with a good impression .. I quess it was her lawyer that got me out of the house .. I'm sure she had some part in it. She has told me numorous times that she saw how much I had changed and that she does want things to work but that she just doesn't think that it can because of how much water is under the bridge. I told her that it can work, we just have to try really hard .. that I do forgive her and love her and want her to come back to our marriage.

Merry Christmas everyone ! .. you know I looked at the Users online here and I was the only one, No guest just me ... anyways Merry Christmas

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And I think it's very possible the sister would encourage her to do what ever makes her happy in the moment and to cover for her. Look at it this way, if your wife is painting you as the bad guy why on earth would the sister give out any info to you? All her loyalty, misguided though it might be, lies with her sister, your wife. This woman is not an ally for you or your marriage.
and that is so true my wife sister is doing that right now she hate me my wife sister she tells my wife that she doe not need me.

Has she actually filed? Do you still have any contact with her? If so, what type? Have you exposed the affair?

Merry Christmas!

L&C,

I actually stopped by here on christmas....but we must have missed eachother. What's been happening?

Tak - yes she filed we come on our date in a month. I have phone contact with her. I see her when we exchange the children.

My last contact face to face she was wearing a new ring on her wedding finger.. and it wasn't the one I bought her .. she got it from Om as a gift .. I asked her about it she said "it's just a ring" I said yes and there are only nine other fingers you could have worn it on ..

I have pretty much given up and am working on moving on with my life .. I am not going to give up on my marriage all together. I am just going to not "try" any more..

I know this is the wrong attitude to have but .. I am tired, beaten up and pretty much just broken .. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> My wife has done everything in her power to make my life hell and is doing a good job at it.. she is now starting to play games with the children as far as watching them and the such.. she changes the rules and I'm supposed to know what they are... anyway I hope everything is going well with you..

Well Hello everyone long time no see ..

Well I quess in about three days I'll be going to court for the Divorce .. Nothing has changed other then she actually admits she is seeing this guy ..

Thank you everyone for all the support and advice .. with out all of you I'd of probably lost it and went Crazy ... I'll check in from time to time and see how everyones doing - L&C

Hi L&F...sorry to hear about the latest news. Gosh this has gone fast!

Dear lost&confused, I have read your posts and know exactly what you are going through because our situation is very similar. I would move back home as many have said. I never moved out when my wife said she was confused and needed space to find out what she wanted. I expressed that my family and wife were far to important to me and that I would not leave them. Stay and fight for them. If she wants to leave then thats her decision. If you don't want to lose your family then don't. Snooping will drive you crazy, make you mentally and physically ill. Continue if you must but be aware of its consequences. I have stopped snooping, many would say thats sticking your head in the sand. Maybe so but in order to emotionally detach yourself from fear, anger and dispair it may be the only way. It has worked for me. I was able to convince my wife to go to counseling and it gave me the glimmer of hope I needed. We just started. Try to convince her to go to counseling for herself if not for your family. Make an appointment for the both of you. When its set tell her what you have done and explain to her that the appointment is for the two of you and that you would love for her to attend it with you but that would be her decision. Provide her with a map to the office, phone number and the counselor's name. Leave it at that and don't pressure her to go and don't mention it again. Even if she does'nt go you need to, it will make a world of difference for you. Keep your head up and know you are not alone.

Dear L&C, Forget what I just said your Way past that. I replied after reading the first part of your post. But I have also been where you are now and believe it or not you will come from this a much better man then you will ever know. You will rise from the ashes to soar again.

Lost - thank u for posting .. LOL You are so right. I am way past it and I am at peace with myself knowing that I gave it 100% and tried and tried and tried ... and I am still trying and will continue to try. I still want my wife to come back to our marriage .. but if she doesn't I WILL BE OK ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L&C I always took great comfort in the fact that I did all that I could have done in my previous marriage. Eventually my former wife came to her senses and tried to reconcile. But by that time I had grieved the loss and moved on. In your case you have a bond with your wife no one can ever undo and that is your love created precious lives. Be the best Dad you can be and that will bring you the happiness you deserve.

Your right and I cherish everyday I get with them .. more now then ever.

Well I figured since I broke my vow of silence to post I might as well as give an update ..LOL Nothing really new to talk about .. My Life has gotten a little better.. I have a better Job and I like it .. My Wife still continues to See OM and bring my children over there all the time.. she has aslo decided that she is going to go for full custody ... I can only hope she does not get it... my wife is pretty much over me and I'm pretty sure planning on getting married to OM .. she is sporting a ring from him .. well thats about all .. I had to come back here and edit this .. I read what I wrote at first and it sounded bitter to me .. I'm not .. I'm feeling a little better and still hope my wife comes back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ March 10, 2004, 05:42 AM: Message edited by: Lost&Confussed ]</small>