I'm really trying to be strong in every respect but I'm finding it's harder than I can handle sometimes.Last night he left @4:30pm to check on his X-bosses buisness (his X-boss liver in Virginia now).He may start working for him again which would be better than him sitting at home in front of his computer.My H didn't get back until 9:30.He didn't even say hello to me but went right to his computer.I'm suspisous about another woman in his chat room.Her name used to be "bluejeanbabe" but now it's "venus-n-bluejeans".I just think it's odd considering he gave the name venus to his last A.When he was gone last night I peaked in his chat room and she wasn't in there.I checked it a few times while he was gone and about 15 minutes before he got home and she still wasn't there.A few minutes after he got home I went in his room to say hi and I noticed she was now in his chat room.When he had the last A he used to leave the house when I got home and didn't come home until 9pm -1am because he'd park his car somewhere and talk to her on his cell phone.This went on for about a month.I really hope it's not starting again.I hate this,I want peace in my life and I want to feel comfortable in my house which I haven't felt in 2 years.I think just knowing he had other women in our home makes it uneasy for me.He still has some of the things they gave him and just knowing that 3 + women have slept in my bed with him took a shower or bath in my bathtub.So I'm seriously thinking of uprooting my children again and finding another home when I get the money.I don't want to cause more stress on the children just because of whats happened with him though so I'll have to see what happens. thanks for being here

I rarely say this to anyone.. LEAVE!! RUN DO NOT LOOK BACK!

We're all with you.. please pack up and get an appartment.. its you that pays the bills anyways.. you'll be able to afford a two bedroom appartment.. just for you peace of mind.. PLEASE LEAVE!! RUN!

My H is keeping in contact with his X-A in OH.He told me he talks to her every monday and friday mornings when she goes to school because her and her husband made a deal that she wouldn't chat at home.He was chatting with her yesturday.He told me he was just saying his hi's to her.They chatted for about 1/2 hour or so.Then he came and hugged me and told me he loved me.He's told me that he's not flying to OH to see her and they arn't getting together and I have nothing to worry about.It makes me feel like "S".I feel like I'm reliving the past two years.When he told me he was talking to her I instantly thought we're not going to make it, not when he's constantly getting emotionally involved with these other women.It hurt me and I had major flash backs of how he was with me six months ago when he was involved with her.There's nothing I can do now to stop him from doing what he does and how he talks to them.They don't know about me,they don't know I'm there with him and that's whats so upsetting.One good thing though is he got a job well sort of he wont see any money from it for a while but he's building computers and doing repairs for people with a friend and yes he has his chat room set up there too so he can watch it and still talk to his friends when he wants so it's totally out of my hands.It's weired he talks and treats me like I should be treating him.I'm not the one who had the "A's" he did,I'm not the one jeprodizing our marriage he is.I'm being extremly nice considering what he's done to us and our family but he doesn't see it that way.Well I have to get back to work.Thank you for being here, God Bless. Mand

My H is keeping in contact with his X-A in OH.He told me he talks to her every monday and friday mornings when she goes to school because her and her husband made a deal that she wouldn't chat at home.He was chatting with her yesturday.He told me he was just saying his hi's to her.They chatted for about 1/2 hour or so.Then he came and hugged me and told me he loved me.He's told me that he's not flying to OH to see her and they arn't getting together and I have nothing to worry about.It makes me feel like "S".I feel like I'm reliving the past two years.When he told me he was talking to her I instantly thought we're not going to make it, not when he's constantly getting emotionally involved with these other women.It hurt me and I had major flash backs of how he was with me six months ago when he was involved with her.There's nothing I can do now to stop him from doing what he does and how he talks to them.They don't know about me,they don't know I'm there with him and that's whats so upsetting.One good thing though is he got a job well sort of he wont see any money from it for a while but he's building computers and doing repairs for people with a friend and yes he has his chat room set up there too so he can watch it and still talk to his friends when he wants so it's totally out of my hands.It's weired he talks and treats me like I should be treating him.I'm not the one who had the "A's" he did,I'm not the one jeprodizing our marriage he is.I'm being extremly nice considering what he's done to us and our family but he doesn't see it that way.Well I have to get back to work.Thank you for being here, God Bless. Mand <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Well it's Friday and he should be talking with "X A" right now. He talks to her every Wed + Fri. It bothers me. Anyway I'd like to know if anyone knows of any sights on the net or books on self esteam.My self esteam is so low and I don't know why.I always put other people before myself.Sometimes I even irritate myself.I'd really like to figure out why I settle for less and why things are the way they are in my life.I always give my H the best of everything right down to the bigger peice of cake or the softest pork chop and I do that with everyone else also.Why-O-Why is what I'd like to know.I wait on everyone hand and foot and don't expect them to do anything for me.So if any of you know of any aides to help me,please let me know. Thank you

There's a major change going on with me now.Emotionally I've given up.My H has been extremely nice to me lately???But I don't care.I'm trying in my heart to forgive but on the same hand I'm finding that I'm letting go of our marriage.I'm realizing more and more that he truely doesn't love me anymore.I don't like to reflect too much on his past behavior,it's all too clear.The games he plays with me,the minipulation,the lies and deseption.This past summer was the worst.Not only did he fly off to OH to meet "A" but he invited an X A to our house to stay for a few days over 4th of July.She did.I met her the last day she was there.I stayed at a friends house.She couldn't even look at me.Apparently she had gained alot of weight since there A and my H called me every day while she was in my house.Anyway what could make my H do this to me.Sometimes I get flashbacks that come out of no where of things he's done to me and it's hard to brush it off.Do any of you know what would help.It's very disheartning when I think we're doing great then I walk in and he's chatting with Ohio.I can't help but wonder whats going on now.I've lived with this now for 2 years.All I want is peace of mind and soul not only for me but for my children also.I'm trying so hard to keep it together within myself for them.Last night for example. My kids needed help with their homework so I sat down to help them.I noticed he was chatting with the same person that 2 months ago we argued about and I moved all my things out of the bedroom.I think it's OH,she goes to her sisters or aunts house to use their computer or at least that's what my H told me 2 months ago.So last night it was very hard to sit and read to my daughter when I saw his screen,but I did, but it bothered me the rest of the night.He then wanted me to sleep in his room with him.I layed there until he fell asleep then went out to the couch.I even felt uncomfortable in my own bed.I wish I could find some materials/books to help me deal with all this and why I'm feeling the way I am.

MAND -

I know we all sound like broken records here, but KICK THE BUM OUT! The reason we keep saying that is because your posts are broken records. He is doing the same thing over and over. And so are you. That is the definition of insanity, you know. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

I am new here, and probably shouldn't be giving advice, but you have allowed this person who is supposed to love and protect you to use you as a doormat for 2 years! I'm sure you don't feel very good about yourself or him or anything right now. My WH has not done 1/100 of the crap yours has, and I am still mad as he##!

Go to the library, and look up books on support for spouses of internet addicted people. Your WH has lost himself. He needs to find himself again. You cannot do that for him. Force him on his own. Kick him out. Show your DAUGHTERS (who could marry someone just like him some day if you let this continue, by the way) what they should expect from someone they let be intimate with them. What are they learning from you right now? Be honest, MAND. The only need he lets you meet for him is the one that he cannot physically get from his on-line girlfriends. What does that say to a young girl?

Listen to these people on here. They are wise in these matters. Cut him off - in all ways. Boot him out. Do not wait until April. Ask him to leave, and if he doesn't, do something drastic. Tell him he can stay, but the computer is going to your dad's house. Or he can leave and have his computer with him. Give him the choice.

2 years is 2 long!!! Show him what you are made of. I can see what you are made of, you are just using it in the wrong direction. It takes a strong woman to do what you have done. Kicking him out and not having to deal with it in your face every day will be a piece of cake.

Love, Amy