C&S -

Yep, girlfriends are so wonderful. Without them and these boards, I would have sunk long ago, I'm afraid.

You have such kind words for me. Although I can't imagine I am more caring than any of the other people here. We are all here to support and look out for each other. You have done for me everything I have done for others. I guess that means you are pretty special woman, too. Your H is very lucky, and thank goodness he finally realizes it.

I'm not fixated on D, but if he says he wants it again, I am not going to try and change his mind again. I won't do it for him, but I will go along with whatever he wants. If he doesn't want me, I don't want him. If he wants to D me, that is what that means to me.

I have a thread on General Questions to ARK regarding the Scout issue. Read it and tell me what you think. The title is something like "ARK - question regarding my kids" or something like that. Her name is in the title.

Thanks for thinking of me. I was thinking of you this morning, thinking how I hadn't heard from you in a while. I'm glad you stopped in!

Lots of love, Amy

Everyone who reads my sad story, please go over to General Questions and see my thread to ARK regarding my kids.

I would like as much input as possible for my decision.

Thanks to all! Hugs and love!

Amy

Amy

I think the advice on pulling them out of scouts is the best I have heard in this situation so far. I would probably do the same thing. I of course have not had to deal with OW being around my S so I can't say for sure. Hopefully I will never have to deal with it.

Thanks for the input, New Yorker! I concur also. I sent you a response on IM, and right then you logged off.

Chat at you later.

Amy

Good morning Amy

Well I had a read of the scout thread to Ark. I am lucky in that my kids never saw any of my H affair. Although the initial fling occured under our noses at a time when former Best Friend and I spent nearly every waking moment together (still can't believe I was so stupid not to realise) I knew nothing of it until 2001. My kids were then very young. In fact their fling occured around same time I conceived youngest child.

When I had Dday and the six year affair came out, children were told as initially we seperated. My daughter was heartbroken, of course because of H but also because she had loved former BF and gotten on so well with her daughter.

But I was lucky in that we were then living in a different city so they had no need to have any contact.

So the jist of it is I have never had to face this sort of situation. The closest I came is that H told me that he had taken OW to watch my Daughter at a swim camp in Sydney. (She was once one of Australias most talented young swimmers).
I was furious at this. Even though she hid and daughter didn't even know she was there. So I know I would not be happy about this scout thing.

I think Ark is giving good advice and it seems to fit with what you are thinking anyway. I guess trust your gut instinct on this one.

I will tell you though that my youngest son used to do scouts. And he seemed to love it, however as time went on and he got involved in more things, something had to give and he gave it up. He was still happy and life went on. All my children have faced many moves where they have been forced to leave friends and activities. Before you know it they are invoved again and have friends again. eg we moved in here just on a month ago. Mt son already has a group of friends, is going to beach and dance and sleeping over and having friends over. I was agonising about how lonely he would be after this move (as he is my most quiet child) and he has taken it in his stride).

It is unfair that you children are getting affected by all this, but clearly they knew OW if she was her friend, and it can't really be good for them to continue to see this playing out before them. Also if OW son is disrespecting you son (but lets not blame him he is a child wheras his mother is an adult) this would not make scouts so enjoyable for him.

I like you idea of getting them into the fishing camp with other freinds.

Your H will probably be very angry and call you all sorts of things. I don't envy you that.

good luck C&S