kamara-
No I don't think driving is a good idea. You need to fly. I will pick you up at the airport. I will buy your ticket. Let me know when you can come. Email me at digsblues@aol.com.

believer, I have just sent you a message.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Believer, you have brought sunshine to my heart today. Kamara, please go and enjoy yourself. Give Believer a hug from me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hugz,
L.

wow... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

awww I love this. I hope you guys have a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kamara -

I got your e-mail. So now we can e-mail and talk. I hope you will come, and I'll start looking for MB folks in this area. Maybe we can get together. I already know of a couple people.

I want to go! I want to dance in Mexico! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You gals are so great. I cannot wait to hear about the plans, who is going, and what you all do. Wow. I have chills all over.

Of course, I am slightly hung over, but I think the chills are for all the love and compassion I see on this site each day. This is an outstanding example.

Love and hugs, Amy

Amy -
You already had your dancing night, now it is our turn.

Hello, girls!
Another terrible morning for me. When will t be over?
believer, I am trying to call you but your line is busy. Maybe you could give me time when I could call you?

Why is it terrible? Has anything new happened, or is it just sadness?

We totally understand. We have all been there. Each day, when you wake up, it is getting better. It is so small, you do not notice it now. But you will soon.

It has been 8 weeks for me, and I am 180 degrees different than I was then. I feel so much better, I wanted to say 360 degrees, but I'm concerned that would put me back where I started, so I've just turned around. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm trying to be witty, but it might not be in the cards for me today. At least for a little while longer, until my body has fully processed all the beer from last night.

Karmara, you all are going to have so much fun. And please know that in spirit, I will be right there with you girls. With all of you. Dancing and laughing and living.

You have found something very special in Believer. Stay here with us and post post post!

What's going on with you today? Type at me girl!

Amy

Nothing new, Amy. Just foing from hope to no hope. When there is a hope i feel good, when no I feel like I don't want tlive any more. I want my marriage back and I don't know how to fight for it!

oops - I will get off computer.

Well, it sounds like you are going to get to talk to Believer. Please post about your fears and feelings. Sometimes, getting them out in the open takes the power out of them.

Like when the A is exposed, it becomes much less potent.

Hang in there. I am thinking about you.

Amy

Hi girls:
Another terrible day for me. I spent it with my daughter. She lives on the university campus. She doesn't know yet - I don't want to disturb her during her midterms. There were lots of triggers everywhere - how during his last visit we were there all together, we passed the motel where we had spent the night. The daughter started talking to me about her plans for summer - we had planned a lot. This will not happen. Or maybe it will happen for her but not for me. This summer it is his mother's 80th birthday. We were planning to go there together. My daughter may go but I doubt I will! This hurts and I cannot stand it any more. I will take valerian pills, as I cannot take anti-D, they calm me down and it helps.

i want my life back! I really do.
Is it possible that he never thinks about me? That there are no triggers for him?

Well hello, there! I'm sorry you are having a poopy day again. Those are to be expected at this point, though. If you can, take comfort knowing that what you are feeling is "normal," and that time will make it better. I wish I could give you more comfort. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My WH, during his extremely few unfoggy moments, claims that he thinks about me every single day, especially at night before he goes to bed. I don't know WHAT he thinks about in regards to me, since he claims he never loved me, but that is what he says.

I'm sure there are triggers for your WH, too. I just don't think you can be with someone, with your family, that long and not have fond memories - even though there is NO WAY they will admit it while fog-bound. So, I don't think you will get any satisfaction from him in that area. I don't think he'll tell you anything you want to hear in that department. Or probably any other department anytime soon.

Maybe not expecting anything will ease the pain of not getting anything. That is kind-of where I'm at.

Did you have a good conversation with Believer today? She has dropped off the Boards today. I hope we all survive over here on our own until she comes back to get us all in line again!

Hugs, Amy

I'm back. A person has to go have fun once in awhile. I went fishing (in the rain) with my boys and their friends.

Chin up everyone. We will all stick together.

Good morning everybody!
I want to ask you all a question - how did this incredible stress affect your health?
I am afraid I will not be able to survive the double stress. I have a desire to call my husband and cry, cry and cry. I don't understand how can one person kill another one in cold blood? He is physically killing me. How can he not understand this?

I want to sleep days and nights for a week to survive this terrible period of time I am having. Maybe I should do this?

Hi, Karama,

I am here. I know exactly how you feel. Just come here, we are all with you. Let me give you a cyber hug. I cry with you. Don't call him. Crying to him is to tell him that I am pitiful. he will turn his head away. I know that a magical healing is for him to turn back and hug you, and say I love you. But they won't. At least now. Maybe in the future. So just hang in there.

Lostnhurt,

I am having the same feelings that you are having this morning. I thought that we, my H and I were doing much better, but I was the only one thinking this I guess.

He will not come back to his family 100% yet. He will remind me that we are seperated so I guess this means that he can do whatever he wants huh!

I did call him. Idiot! Why don’t I listen to anybody!
But I feel a little better now. He said that he is also in pain and suffering but cannot do anything. He told me some new things – that if he hadn’t come here to visit me our relationship may have continued for a while. That he made a effort to stay with me when I first found out, that he was ready to pack and go the moment I found out, that he was concerned about my health situation and tried hard but he cannot any more. That living separately took its toll – our relations changed and there is no way back. He did everything to keep me happy but cannot any more. he said, he doesn’t want to give me any hope – there is no hope. Then he says that if I hadn’t found out he would have probably written to me and told me that he was ending our relations. He said that he understands that he is taking the curse upon himself and that the God will punish him for what he is doing to me but he cannot continue it with me.
While we were talking there was a call on his cell. It was 11 pm his time, it was definitely she who was calling. He didn’t stop talking to me. I asked him to try and help me. I sighed and said, OK, I will help you. I don’t know how he will help me though.
I am afraid that if I get out of his life he will easier let it go.
I told him our daughter wanted to go to his mother’s birthday in summer. He said, of course she can.
Girls, I am done. He is deeply involved with her, that is clearer and clearer to me!
How to survive all this?

Karama,

I know exactly how you feel. Stop thinking of him for a while. This is hard to do. I knew that I failed. But maybe that is the only thing we can do. believer should have better advice. I don't feel that I am qualified to give you any advice now. But I am here to be with you and support you. Hug, Hug. God loves you.