Don't beat yourself up Medic. I've fallen off that wagon a time or two or three myself, and it's only been a MONTH !

Stangely enough, you mentioned your wife had an all or nothing attitude. Don't You as well ?

THAT is where I went wrong. I wanted all or nothing as well, so when I saw some progress being made, I thought this would magically CURE my WH and poof...

Well, I had to let go of the all or nothing idea. Look at it this way, I don't know where he is most of the time anymore, naturally...I'm suspicious... I sit and get annoyed..is he up to no good, is he talking to OW, is he with OW. Then it hit me... Look, I've already found out the worst thing I'm ever going to find out in regards to my WH actions. How many times to I have to let it slap ME in the face.

Take a deep breath, realize your emotions are difficult to control, and Stay in Plan A. I'm sorry, it's difficult that stupid Plan A. But for your own sake, get back on that wagon !

I suppose I do have a little of an all or nothing attitude. I am willing to concede alot of things though. She is not. I know I'm not perfect, never claimed to be. Oh well I didnt lose any sleep about it last night. I'm done with that. Tuesday is our anniversary and she actually still wants to go out to dinner or something so I guess there is slight hope. I'm sure that will be a blast <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . Oh well I'm off to work. Wish me luck on tomorrow and thank you all for the prayer and concern. And yes believer I hope that someday she'll realize that her kids want their family back as much as I do, not because I told em to, but because thats a normal thing for people to want.

Well now she only wants me to pick up the kids when shes there. Tells me she feels bad because if shes at work then she doesnt get to see them for three days. She would rather leave them with a sitter than to let me have them. I'm fightin on that. Plan A be darned where my kids are concerned. I hope she goes to that counsellor tomorrow. I'm havin a real tough time with Plan A right now. I think the fact that the little one packed her backpack and told her that she was ready to go to see daddy last night is working on her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Oh well I hope she follows through tomorrow.

Went out for our anniversary last night. Her roommate was watching the kids and was not feeling well so we had to make a short night of it. All in all it went very well though. Hopefully we can keep going on that track.

I'm glad you had a nice night with your W.
Baby steps.
She's obviously not committed to eliminating you from her life.
Keep on Plan A.

Wen to pick up the kids this morning. Told wife I wanted to bring them back @ noon on Monday if she wasnt working. She suprised the crap out of me. Instead of fighting with me, she told me she was working and that I could bring them back @ 630 pm MOn. I suppose that saves her some baby sitter money but after the no pickup unless I'm here spiel and how much she missed em I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. She had a counselling session today that I assume she kept. I dont know. Oh well.

Hang in there Medic. weekend is here
(I hate weekends now <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> )

Breathe in, Breathe out.

I'm not able to even handle a day at a time anymore.

I'm going from Breath to Breath.

SSDD here.

Here last night, coffee this morning, called once today...haven't heard peep since.

I am suddenly very aware that not only does it really bite to have nothing to do on the weekend, but worse when there's noone to do nothing with. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Well she did go to the counsellor today. Now Im supposed to go by myself next week. This sure seems like its taking a long time. Another big suprise, it sounds like she is going to be home all weekend. At least for tomorrow anyway. I figured she would be headed to wherever she goes after her session today. I guess I should be thankful that things are at least for today going the way I had hoped. I'm just a little leery. Still prayin for ya jersey, you hang in there too.

Hiya Medic,
Be patient. There are definate signs that she's coming around.

Not the case here, as a matter of fact, when WH called me last night (he obviously lied about where he was) and I said, can I ask you a question without you getting mad ? He said NO questions. What the heck is that about ? No questions ? Lest we forget I'm a person too ?
Don't spouses have at least the right to the truth about things? The lying has now started.

I think I have to go to Plan B today. He plans on "stopping by". This is really gonna hurt, but I think I see the writing on the wall.

You hang tough, it looks likes its turning around.

I'm sorry to hear that your H is forcing you into drastic action. I will continue to pray for you and hope that you are granted the wisdom to do what is right and the peace to know that it was. I wish there was more I could say or do to ease your heart, but I know there is nothing more anyone can do. I think all of us understand that end of it. Well my W went to her session, and now I have to go alone next week. I dont really see where al lof this is taking us. I do know there is a lot of complexity to the situation, but it sure seems to be taking a long time. W also has been a little nicer the last day or two, I'm not sure I trust that. I'm a little gunshy if you know what I mean. She actually said she loved me a couple times yesterday without sounding insincere. Maybe she is coming around, maybe I'm just getting my hopes up. We'll see.

Hey,
Try to remember she's dealing with a lot of her own issues. This has to be very difficult for her as well.

The first thing she has to do is work on herself, and she had a tendency to run from that very effort.

Be supportive, tell her you hope it's helping HER.

Stay in Plan A. You'll beat this, I can see that.

Hi Medic,
Haven't heard anything about your situation. Hope you're still working hard on Plan A.

Let us know how you and the family are doing.

Betrayed

Well took the kids back tonight. W was pretty decent, kids were happy to see her. Worked out the shcedule for getting 4 yr old to her preschool. That happens to be in the town where I live, 40 miles away from where W is staying right now, so its a chore sometimes. I might add that 40 miles really isnt that big a deal around here. Got W to agree to going out and taking the kids on Thurs. evening. Things may just work out after all. Then again, like I said on your post in differen twording.....Some days are diamonds...some days are stone....some days are hard times wont leave you alone.... Cant remember all the lyrics but you get the point. Oh well, for now things are lookin up a little. W went absolutely nowhere this weekend, very out of character for her the last three months. Maybe she waking up a little. She still talks about space and I have a really hard time giving her that. Just have moments when I really want to just talk to her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Keep prayin, I'll do the same. I know it works.

Forgot to mention that I asked her the other night if we were getiing anywhere with this. She said somedays yes somedays no. Tried to drag me into a big tussel. I told her I wasnt going there. She knew my opinion and I knew hers. It wasnt going to do any good to beat a dead horse. She was a little bit nasty, but I just let it go, so I guess I Plan Aed pretty well last night.

From everything I've read around here, it sounds like you and your WW are reaching a stage of Conflict. This is a good sign. She's been withdrawing from you for so long, it's nice to see her want to get down in the mud a little.

It means she still cares. Keep on your Plan, you're doing a GREAT job.

I'm glad everything else is working out with the kids.

Keep the faith strong that no matter what God's plan is, we accept it's what is intended, not necessarily what we expect.

Went to the bank today to try and take care of some of the debt that I'm being forced to handle myself. Basically trying to consolidate so I can handle the payments. Have to get W to sign note because her name is on the collateral also. Talked to her about it tonight and she agreed to do it. Maybe she doesnt want out of this as bad as I think. Kids showed me mega love this evening too, that always cancels out W attitude.

Dealing with the real world, finances, makes it a little harder. But sometimes steps on those directions make it clearer that you're prepared to move on if you have to.

I'm glad you had a good night with the kids.

I haven't seen my daughter since this afternoon.

Stay in your plan. I'm counting on you.

Talked with wife tonight. She wasnt too bad. I think the ice is melting a little bit. This is taking longer than I would like but I'm trying. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Dont know how long I should wait before I tell her to crap or get of fthe pot. Any suggestions?

Talked with wife tonight. She wasnt too bad. I think the ice is melting a little bit. This is taking longer than I would like but I'm trying. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Dont know how long I should wait before I tell her to crap or get of fthe pot. Any suggestions?

LOL....I'm the LAST one to ask. I face that question every single minute of the day !

I think the age old....sh#t or get off the pot, won't work in this case....I think it's a major LB. (blah blah blah demands)

The bitterness that lies beneath my surface comforts me...somehow my own humor gets me through. I don't know where it's taking me though.

They say 6 months of Plan A for men. I know this seems like an incredibly long path. I face this everyday myself.

It's boggling to the mind, that although WE are the one's betrayed, we must work our BUTTS off and play the hurry up and wait game !

Here is my thought process...we're married...U scr'wed up...I'm willing to work this out, take you back, and improve our marriage....yet I have to sit around and wait for WH to make his move ???? Fundamentally I think it's a simple question...and an even simpler answer...you either LOVE me.... want to be MARRIED....or NOT.

I don't see the rocket science in this. I'm sorry if I haven't helped you at all. I think this is the toughest part...the hurry up and wait. When it all seems so clear to us ?!@#