pain -

First off I have to be honest with you. I am an advocate for your unborn child. That is just because of my life experience. I don't know what your spiritual life is like. But as I told you before, I had an abortion which I still deeply regret.

I still think of the child to this day (it has been 17 years). I went to doctor to find out I was pregnant. My doctor did not believe in abortions. But he did give me a referral. When I left the office, the nurse asked me if I wanted a prescription for prenatal vitamins. Then she looked at my chart and said she realized that I did not need them.

So my advice to you is kinda one way. I do think your H is still in the fog. He seems like he is very sincere, but still does not "get it". However that can change.

You two have been through a lot together. You both have to make changes, but if you do, you can go on to have a great marriage.

To all: I finally made my decision and he helped me to do it. This man was NEVER sincere about me or our marriage. He put me on a plane back to the U.S. a few hours ago. When he left me, I was in tears and unable to communicate my feelings. So, about 30 minutes later (at 1am) I tried to call him before boarding my flight. Guess what? NO ANSWER. I called his cell phone over and over again to find that he not only wouldn't answer, he was ignorning the call so that his answering machine would not come on. And prior to this incident, he asked me for his ATM card back if "I didn't need it". He also made sure he let me know in advance that he wouldn't be staying in his room last night because he had some work at another job location. What a jerk! And to think, I almost considered forgiving him and having his baby. I transferred money out of our joint account immediately (I never did mention that this bum was using me to help him pay his bills while he slept with another woman). As soon as I hit US soil I plan to have an abortion and run like hell from him. My second stop will be to find a lawyer. And in the meantime, I will contact his commanding officer to let them know all about his adulterous lifestyle. He made his bed.... I hope this woman is worth it. Take care all and I wish you well. I won't post here anymore because I am not staying married and I don't want to be a negative influence on anyone else.

Sorry you are in so much pain. I hope you will keep posting, because you need to work through this. And don't worry about being a negative influence. We all have our hopeless times.

Sounds like he is still in the fog and not thinking clearly.