Believer, thanks for writing. I hope it kicks in too! Yes, I think its positive that he has broken contact so quickly and started working on our relationship so quickly. There may be hope for us!

Max, your letter idea is great. I'll ask H and see if that's something he would consider. I'm very nervous about her coming. She's an alcoholic and tends to get out of control. I'm thinking I better sit her down while she's still sober or else the fists may start flying (from her, not H). Sigh. We'll see. I told H yesterday that no matter what happens, I will stand by his side. I said, "your my H and I'm giving you my loyalty and love and I will stand by your side and not let her fight with you"....words to that effect anyway. I think to hear that from me meant something to him. He was pretty quiet and contemplative after that.

Boy oh boy, though, I am nervous about my mom. I've been fighting with her for years and only recently starting sticking up for myself (and Dad and step mom). She really is a tough nut. I just hope that I am capable of keeping the peace in the house while she's here. I'll follow all the advice I get from you guys.

-michelle

Another thing you could think about is postponing her visit. If she drinks, things are likely to get out of control. You already have enough stress.

i thought about that also, but, unfortunately, there are many facets to this visit besides ours. She's also coming to see my druggie brother and his wife (soon to be ex)to confront him on drugs, etc...yadayadayada..... and she's bringing her other alcoholic girlfriend for a whirlwind trip to Canada and Chicago, besides here. They are also staying at my house. Very stressed about this. Would love to tell H to stay somewhere else for the time she's here, but that's out of the question. Thought about telling my mom to stay somewhere else, but she doesn't have the money and this would also open up a huge argument session about why I don't want her around...(everything is about her, of course).....