</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TreeReich:
<strong> My H wants to continue MC while we are seperated. Do you thik there is any hope in saving this marriage? I am so confused!!!!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tree,

Good sign that he wants to continue with the MC, but put your foot down (gently) about staying under the same roof. Take it to your counselor for discussion. If you can work your problems out apart, you can usually work them out together. It is easier and more effective to Plan A when you are living together, not to mention you'll be better able to monitor his attempts to contact OW, or vice versa.

And yes, there is lots of hope for saving your marriage.

~ Snow

<small>[ July 25, 2004, 02:04 PM: Message edited by: Snowbelle ]</small>

TR,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> did you H leave the marriage for the OW?
My H wants to continue MC while we are seperated. Do you thik there is any hope in saving this marriage? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Interesting words of choice. Let me ponder for a minute... did my H leave the M for the OW ? He would say absolutely NOT. I would have to say YES.

That's all in the eye of the beholder I think.

I threw him out, I know, not MB principle, but every M has it's own quirks, and this was the right thing for US. Did it enable him to continue with the OW ? Sure it did. But I can't say if that would have happened either way.

The fact that he wants to continue MC, is a FANTASTIC sign. This gives you more time to really take the time to think about things, work on Plan A, heal a little bit.

Wait for all the dust to settle. Things won't be so confusing in time.

One of the things I remember telling my H during this time was that I was sorry he was in the midst of such an internal struggle. I wish there was something I could do to help him through it, but I knew he had to deal with it in his own way in his own time.

As much as I wanted to RUSH him out of the FOG, I knew from the MBers that wouldn't get me anywhere. Patience is extremely hard to come by right now TR. But time is on your side here.

What other motivation would your H have for wanting to continue MC ????

He's not ready to forgive yet. His emotions are all over the place, he isn't thinking straight. He's just as torn up about this as you, maybe you won't see it.

My H swore he no longer was in love with me, said the M was over a long time ago. I watched as the weeks passed, he wasn't sleeping, not eating, messing up on his job. His whole life turned upside down.

You want to create a safe place for him.

Suggest he not go, tell him that you'd like to see if this can go anywhere with him in the same place. Let him know you're open to discussing it, and looking at this at all angles. Be careful not to impose too many of your own opinions on him, he may view that as pressure. NOT that I am saying it is.... just know what my H thought.

Well, my H moved left last night. He went to stay with his brother that lives a mile up the road. I actually slept like a baby. He swears that he's not going to see OW because he is trying very hard to work this out and wants his word to mean something to me. H says he will come by the house every night to see our son and wants to have time away from me so that he can see how much he misses me and needs me in his life. I don't know what to make of all of that. I don't know if it's bull or what. He seems sincere when he's saying it but who knows!!!
He called this morning and said he is going to buy some groceries for me and my son for the week. He told me last night that he does love me very much but that he is just so confused about everything.
I just want to move on. I don't want to go through all of this pain anymore. It's so hard!! My sister-in-laws have vowed to keep me busy so I can think about other things. I have to find a job also so that is going to be tough.

Well, I was on the internet surfing and decided to look up my H cell phone invoice. I never thought of it before....I found the OW full name and phone number. I'm so tempted to call her and let her know what she's causing. I know I shouldn't but somebody please give me some advice on this. I feel so tempted.......
I probably should wait and see the next invoice to see if H is telling me the truth about NC with OW. What do you think????