FinallyLearning--thank you again for not taking any sides. I think it is best that way, for everything.
It is funny you mentioned about getting frustrated,or angry and saying you dont want to post anymore, because some of the things that are said to me. My husband, when he sees me all "bend out of shape" tells me,"dont take it personally". They really dont know you, or you know them. But still, I feel like it is very personal!!! But I am trying to remain as calm as possible and get what I came for here. And that is points of views, advise,etc,etc. It would be up to me and to my husband what are we going to apply to our problems. I am sure we will follow some advice to the "t", and in some other instances change a bit the advise, and in other cases, just dismiss all together!!
But I do appreciate your posts.
Thanks!
Myrta

SadWW- It is a bad thing to be defensive yes. My defensiveness comes out more here in this posts. With my husband, we dont get into arguments, I just clammed up and dont talk anymore! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> But I am getting better with him, sometimes I come to talk to him when he least expects me to. It has only been 5 months since my DD. I think even with the ups and down we are doing pretty good, despite me not doing everything by the book!!! My husband has a lot of patience with me, and he understands more each day what I am going thru too. Since talking to you and to FaithfullyHoping, he can undersstand what goes inside our heads while in the horrid affair.
SadWW--Maybe I was too impulsive in writing like that to JL, but,......could not resist myself. I really thought even with our ups and down, that he will be able to help us. But it is better this way, I guess he is as sensitive as I am. And dont accept criticism too well too.

Thank you.
Myrta

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Myrta:
<strong> SadWW- It is a bad thing to be defensive yes. My defensiveness comes out more here in this posts. With my husband, we dont get into arguments, I just clammed up and dont talk anymore! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> But I am getting better with him, sometimes I come to talk to him when he least expects me to. It has only been 5 months since my DD. I think even with the ups and down we are doing pretty good, despite me not doing everything by the book!!! My husband has a lot of patience with me, and he understands more each day what I am going thru too. Since talking to you and to FaithfullyHoping, he can undersstand what goes inside our heads while in the horrid affair.
SadWW--Maybe I was too impulsive in writing like that to JL, but,......could not resist myself. I really thought even with our ups and down, that he will be able to help us. But it is better this way, I guess he is as sensitive as I am. And dont accept criticism too well too.

Thank you.
Myrta </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">((((Myrta)))))

You are hurting so badly....

I want to talk about defensiveness for just one more minute though. Backing off- and keeping silent- doesn't mean that you aren't defensive. I guess what I'm trying to say is that please don't take your h's every sentence, statement, or remark as a personal criticism. Perhaps you DON'T...I'm simply mentioning this because this is an error I made- and which only made things worse. Your H clearly adores you- my H wouldn't dream of posting on a message board- or seeing a MC or any of the other 100 things I think would help our marriage. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sadww--I know you are right about the defensive issue. But ......it is sooooo hard to go thru this. It is scary!!! Not in a million years, I thought I could be unfaithful to my husband, sometimes it seems like its "sureal". I cannot believe that I put "ourselves"into this. Me,only me.
I know he loves me, and I love him too. I know that he is trying so hard for us to get pass this affair. Maybe after a long time, we will look back like it was a "nightmare" .
Thank YOU.

Myrta
P.S. Thanks for the hugs!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Myrta:
<strong> Sadww--I know you are right about the defensive issue. But ......it is sooooo hard to go thru this. It is scary!!! Not in a million years, I thought I could be unfaithful to my husband, sometimes it seems like its "sureal". I cannot believe that I put "ourselves"into this. Me,only me.
I know he loves me, and I love him too. I know that he is trying so hard for us to get pass this affair. Maybe after a long time, we will look back like it was a "nightmare" .
Thank YOU.

Myrta
P.S. Thanks for the hugs!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Myrta...Stanley asked if I would post to you about the conversation that he and I have been having on another thread. If you've read it- I won't repeat- just offer an invitation to talk about the subject ourselves. If you haven't, and want to talk, let me know.

Sadww--What other threat you are talking about? NO, I havenot read it!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Myrta:
<strong> Sadww--What other threat you are talking about? NO, I havenot read it! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The "Other Man" Thread- last couple of pages of it.