I am not really sure what to say. I have never done this before. I was reading the other posts and I realized that there are other people out there in my shoes. I never thought that my husband would find comfort in talking to another woman. I am a christian, I love the Lord with all my heart. The problem that I am experiencing is that he has not admitted to "seeing" another woman. It all happened when he called my phone by an "accident" to speak to her. I am a believer that God doesn't allow "accidents" to happen...it was supposed to be that way. Anyway, I felt like I was hit from the side...I was not expecting it at all. I did my research and I found out that he had speaks to this woman a lot. When I confronted him at home, he packed up his things and left. That was almost four months ago. We work together and we talk constantly. We also have a one year old daughter together. Before he was "caught," he was arrested for possession of a narcotic. I was there for him and I never left his side. He now attends group sessions as a result of his punishment. He says that there was nothing going on between him and the other woman. He says that they were just friends. Why couldn't I be his friend? He is still not home. He lives with his dad now. He is embarrassed about the entire situation. He has not neglected his financial obligations at home. It is just that he isn't home. Why isn't home yet? I pour my heart out to him about my lonliness. It is just me and my daughter at home. I go to the grocery store all by myself and unpack them too. I have a husband. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I need advice. I am praying constantly. He keeps saying that he will be home soon, but soon has not got here yet. What do I do? I am lost...

blessed,
Welcome to MB, I'm sorry you're going through this.

Read up on this site about Plan A. The sooner you implement it and stick with it, the better your chances will become of getting your H home.

Is there any other way you can find proof of this relationship ?

Is this woman friend married ?

If you give us more information , we can give you advice based on your current situation.

There is hope, keep praying, keep reading, and we'll go from here.

Take Care.

Click on the link in my signature line. Read the "Plan A" links

Johnh39,
Thank you for responding to my call. I have read Plan A and B. My spouse has not admitted to having an "affair." He says that they were just friends. I am not sure if this friend is married. He did tell me that he would talk to her about our problems. How wrong!!! I just need to know if I put pressure on him to return home. He comes early in the morning to take my daughter to day care, but there is still a void. It has been almost 4 months. What am I to do?

Betrayedinjersey,

I am not liking the way I am feeling about this entire situation. I have my days when I am alright about the situation, then I get days where I really hurt. Today was just one of those days. I see couples together and I want to have that with my husband. I pray everyday! I believe that God is working this problem out. It is just hard to be patient and wait on him.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> My spouse has not admitted to having an "affair." </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So? What has that got to do with how you deal with the affair he is obviously having. Plan A does not require an acknowledgement of an affair. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I just need to know if I put pressure on him to return home. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"Put pressure on him" sounds like making a demand, to me. Ask him? Yes, if that is what you want. Pressure him? No.

Did you read those links by Zorweb and Cerri on Plan A? Harley is a little sketchy about details in his description, and they help flesh it out a little.

Re: Him returning home...it is usually a bad idea to let a WS come home unless you have an agreed-upon plan in place to deal with the issues that led to the affair - or, if there has been no affair, with the issues that led to them leaving.