Communication
yes that certainly was the start of the problems and I accept responsibility for that one.
I was SO confident I could handle it all and made a huge LB by assuming Aussie could not help due to his own problems. Perhaps one the biggest insults of all outside of the A itself.

I was so full of myself and my ability to be able to keep things on a friendly peer support with the OM. A complete and utter fool.
Sorrier & wiser & not so up myself. God I was such a snotty b1tch back then. Really seems like a different person. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

But I have a WHOLE list of things I would just love Aussie to give me, not expectations because I reckon I have to earn that back. But they are simple things like wanting him to just smile at me for no reason sometimes. Like we used to.
I expect he’ll have a load too.. But you can never tell with Aussie.
I don’t think it matters anyway from my position. I feel so besotted with him all over again I guess I’d accept anything he wanted.

Wow 14 days to go!! Bet you can’t wait to see the wife & kids RIF. 18 years is nothing to sniff at you know. We are now on 19 years . I guess your wife must have been a child bride as well ..LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Did you all get the too young to be married bit from the parents? Well proved them all wrong didn't you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks RAG

I guess you are right but its hard to hear nothing when you see so much going on wirh CNN and the like. I know they only show the worst but I can't help but worry.

Hi AW!

It sounds like you are "processing" things nicely... now, make sure you write these things down in your journal and then start looking for ways to ensure that you never make these same 'mistakes' ever again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

For us, I knew that we were really starting to rebuild when my W felt safe enough with me to express her true feelings. There were many things that I did early on in our M that contibuted to her thinking that she needed other men in her life, and yet again, there was no apparent reason for her to stray... you will have to strike a balance here with Aussie, but IMHO, at some point, I suspect that you will have some issues that you will need to discuss with Aussie.

Please don't discount YOUR feelings in all of this... this isn't an exercise in pounding the WS. The goal is to deal with ALL of the issues that created a M where you felt that you couldn't talk with A and thus felt 'safer' with another man. You are accepting your part... Just remember to eventually deal with any issues that you have with Aussie as well.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I guess your wife must have been a child bride as well ..LOL Did you all get the too young to be married bit from the parents? Well proved them all wrong didn't you. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She was 18 and I was 24... our first daughter was born less than a year later. Our first assignment was overseas and I was constantly in the field... not a good way to start out as a young family.

Looking back on it all, there is no way that we should still be married... I thank God every day for saving our marriage and for blessing me with such a wonderful wife and three beautiful daughters... I'd better stop for now before I start getting emotional...

Anyway, you are doing GREAT!!! Let us know how things are going...

Semper Fi,
RIF

Wow RIF

talk about similar...I had our D before I was 19 and our S before I was 20 .. and our third s at 22 - but lost him a few months later due to meningitis.
15 years, had such an intense wash of emotion just then, I haven't spoken about Peter in 15 years.
I might need to think about that for a while over the next few days.
Are you sure you haven't been doing a psychology course because boy did you hit some buttons????

I think one of the the hardest things to handle as a Army spouse is the isolation you experience when you are a SAHM with young kids.
You are virtually a single mom and believe me after 3 or 4 months of baby talk you would die for an adult, any adult to talk to you. This is especially hard when you are in a remote location far far away from friends & family.
So no, I'm not surprised at all that so many are ao vunerable and seek comfort outside the M.
I wonder if it was lack of opportunity that kept me on the straight & narrow? Really have not thought much on that. Well not going to worry about maybes like that.
Its only in recent years that the Army here and in the states have really taken the issue seriously and are setting up support groups funded by the Gov.

But RIF there nothing wrong with good honest emotion about your family, except of course blokes being blokes they'd probably give you a hard time over it.... sometimes you men <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Aw, I'm so sorry about your son... I can't imagine the pain of losing a child.

The loss is no longer red raw RIF but I don't talk about it, haven't for all these years.
Not sure if you ever get over it, ever really stop the second guessing and thinking if only I did this or that.
I blamed myself for a long time and felt/feel responsible for allowing him to get sick in the first place. Intellecually I know its rubbish, emotionally, my fault.
Acceptance takes a long long time.

Well I've had a happy few days, son is home, daughter is bit more settled, been fooling around in IDIOTSVILLE which is a fun place to be a fool but I am in the dog house with my sisters who come over to watch the Rugby match with me.

Little Sister was annoyed that I hadn't told her I was feeling low and not very well..strike 1

Strike 2
Big Sister is a doc & was in here no more than 3 min and went & brought her black bag of tricks in and started checking me over for an hour or so.
Did the MMm & arr's, then questions why aren't I eating, why am I puking up and have nausea, your'e the doc sis, why am I tired, have you been having mood swings, what have you been taking, does it hurt when I push here, well yes if your boobs were pushed it may hurt too etc etc ..ahh got the flu maybe sis??
Mmm mmmm and some more mmmm and got an 'interesting' ...so she stuck me and is doing some blood tests just to 'be sure' patronising smile I dont think you'll die of it sis, oh thank you and then she'll let me know when she gets the results back...big sister smirks, I dont trust her when she smirks. Still think she does it to push my buttons even if I do love the cow. Well sometimes.

But she & little sis are great friends to me - only told mum & them about A - so I suppose I'll be a good girl and eat what shes told me to - down to size 10 and I suppose I'm way to skinny but its understandable isn't it. Its not as if its been a great few months.

So we watched Rugby, their H's at the Pub tonight, then after Aust won, hehehe packed the kids in the cars, alseep by then, especially my sweet little babe, little sis's new one, wow what a cutie, and off they went. So I came back went down to the games room, chips and lollie papers and drinks ..what a mess, but kids had a ball watching Harry Potter, then Jimmy Neutron and Total Recall.

Nice to have them around though right now.

AW--I think you could be expecting a baby <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .
Maybe thats why you feel like puking in the morning and so tired,etc,etc. That would be good, maybe.....
Wow, I am so sorry for the loss of your son, even though its so many years after, I am sure its still hurts! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
So, you have not heard anything from Aussie/ It must be hard to communicate from there. I am sure that when he gets a chance he will do it.
You are doing great,I am sure your children think that too and Aussie will see when he gets back what a great wife he has.
Take Care AW!!

MYRTA

oh h*ll Myrta it didn't even occcur to me.

I mean I've been on the pill for years, ages..I only stopped it to go on St Johns Wort about 5 or 6 weeks ago and then well Aussie & I only had limited time together due to his deployment.

Everything I've ever read says that after so long on the pill it would probably take a year or so to conceive.

Is it usual to have nasal congestion though?? Never had that before.

I really don't know what to feel. the last thing I want is to tie Aussie to me if he wants out, I couldn't bear that.

h*ll!! You've really stunned me Myrta, its so obvious, but it just seems crazy.
What do I do now?????

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by aussieswife:
<strong> oh h*ll Myrta it didn't even occcur to me.

I mean I've been on the pill for years, ages..I only stopped it to go on St Johns Wort about 5 or 6 weeks ago and then well Aussie & I only had limited time together due to his deployment.

Everything I've ever read says that after so long on the pill it would probably take a year or so to conceive.

Is it usual to have nasal congestion though?? Never had that before.

I really don't know what to feel. the last thing I want is to tie Aussie to me if he wants out, I couldn't bear that.

h*ll!! You've really stunned me Myrta, its so obvious, but it just seems crazy.
What do I do now????? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">AW... I know that you're probably stressing over this... But remember, don't worry about things that you can't control.

Go get a pregnacy test kit and find out for sure...

AW----Well, you could very well be. With mylast child,she is 12, I had nasal congestion from beginning to end. It went away,shortly after I had her. So, it is possible.
Just go and get a pregnancy test like RIF says. I hope everything works out the best for you and Aussie if you are <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .
Take Care!! What time is in Australia now??

MYRTA

Myrta,

Go check out AW's post on Idiotville (GQII forum) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ November 28, 2004, 12:31 AM: Message edited by: L.I.T ]</small>

Hi Myrta

Well I went & go 3 tests, 3 of the strip ones and the little containeer thingy one.

I get the control band and test band on all the 3 tests so I think thats a good indication don't you? POSITIVE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Oh crap!

I wonder how he will react?? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />


oh well what will be will be regardless.

I'll smile and take what comes <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I suppose.

Oh its about 2.36 in the afternoon Myrta.
Can't believe I was so stupid not to pick it up, denial is not just a river in Egypt.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by aussieswife:
<strong> I wonder how he will react?? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />


oh well what will be will be regardless.

I'll smile and take what comes </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">AW, I'm sure that Aussie will be proud!!! Don't worry about the 'what ifs'....

You take care of yourself and your little one, OK?

Semper Fi,
RIF

AW,

Congratulations! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

When you were babysiting your sister's baby, and Aussie and you were going gaga over it, I mentioned the possibility of thoughts along that line. Wasn't it your mother who aranged it?

Don't worry about Aussie. If he left you, where would he go? Who would he go to? I can't think of a better way for you to show your love of, and commitment to, Aussie than having another child. Maybe this baby will lessen the ache in your heart over Peter. Not that it will ever fully go away.

BTW, one of our daughters was on the pill, and her husband was using condoms, when she got pregnant with their son.

oh yeah RAG you did get it right.
Mom is a conniver from way back - she & Aussie are very very close.
I think I said to you before that its really freaky how well they get on, you really would think she was his Mom its like she knows what hes thinking at times!

All right I still have to wait until big sister Jane tells me 100% - I did ring her today by the way and she said yes its what she suspected from the time she asked the second question and started the examination BUT lets just make sure first ..so I'll wait about 2 days just to be 100%. Won't tell the kids until then. Don’t think there much doubt .

But I’m too old for this !! Oh drat it all!!!!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

confusion reigns supreme. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> But I’m too old for this !! Oh drat it all!!!! confusion reigns supreme. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey, 29 isn't too old!!! My W has been 29 for the past 7 years! he he he....

AW- Well, I just got up and came directly to the computer to see if you knew already!!! And YOu really do, wow, 3 tests and all positive!!! Thats for sure, no mistake you are!! I am so happy for you and Aussie./This will do the trick and fix his sadness and move you ahead,way ahead, in your recovery.
You are not old at all!! I am 49, my youngest is 12, she rejuvenated me big time, when I had her. We are so close and I am so happy I had her, she is my baby <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .
You will be so happy with a new baby, and Aussie too, I am sure. And your maternal feelings were all out already, when you had your niece there. Remember? how much you enjoyed that??
Congratulations AW!!!

Myrta

Well Myrta I guess I'll have to 'enjoy' it because I can see you guys won't let me mope around and grumble will you?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

But boy am I confused!!

I suppose I'll settle when I can see and speak to Aussie at last. I'll know one way or the other and that will be that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Its not that hes going to have any say of course, I'm keeping MY baby if God willing all goes ok regardless! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

AW- I am so happy for you!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Of course you are going to keep the baby, he or she will be your new beginning. Its going to be wonderful, I am sure. Aussie is going to be sooooo happy to hear the news. I hope everything goes well with the pregnancy and when you give the news to Aussie. That will be so cute, a little Aussie-baby <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .
Everything works out for a reason, if you are pregnant,it will be for the best!! You are very young still, so it will be okay.Your older kids are going to be so happy too with their new baby sibbling.
Take Care! Eat lots of saltines in the morning for your nausea!!

MYRTA