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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
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Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383 |
Many thanks for the kind words ktu and thank you for the prayers, we can always use those.
The motive is love isn't it ktu? Else why would you try so hard to fight for your M? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
As for the Housework. NOW do you see what we have been saying all these years??????????? hey hey hey <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> lol
Now THAT would pump up the love bank waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy up!!!! No wonder she is sus, probably thinks YOU have something tough & hurtful to tell her as well.
Boy would that confuse me!! lol No not being fair when A2 is here he does lots of cooking, some washing, but never ever the dishes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
Now get to them buster ,,heh heh joking .... but you know........ THAT one works!!
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 87
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 87 |
Good day AW.
Not much to report here. W has a cold and is snoring away on the couch. I am trying not to wake her.
About the only thing going on is with me. I am having some problems with my distrust of her right now. This will go away with time and honesty I know, but its still no fun right now. As much as I love W, to spend the rest of my life like this makes me question what I am doing.
You warned me about the resentment, anger, etc. and I think this is part of that. I will vent that stuff here and not on W.
Otherwise, I continue with plan A.
Have a good one.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383 |
well ktu
thats normal. your anger etc will go on for a long time, dont let it simmer though. A2 had no chance to let his out he was deployed again and so came back where we were...........like trying to play catch up ......I've been to MC/IC and doing a lot better hes back where he left off.
Avoid THAT. hes not happy when his thoughts go that way and thus the hard words. But thats ok we can work through them. I guess we are a bit ahead of you two but not by too much.
Remember to let her know she can email me when shes ready & whats said between us stays between us. Unless she wants it otherwise. I now dont hide ANYTHING from A2. Dont have bank a/c, phone or anything in my name only all is joint. I mean NOTHING could really stop me lying to him of course if thats what I wanted - dont - but its more symbolic from me to him, here this is all the stuff I hid but no more.
Now that you have a captive audience do all the meeting her needs stuff. As much as she will let you. Coffees, soup, tea, whatever to show her you care and pay attention. Yes its hard when you are SO angry and hurt, dont have a answer for all of that except to get to a good MC the both of you. MAybe even Steve Harley here on site who advises by phone. Not cheap but a divorce is SOOOOOOOOOO much dearer.
One thing the MC did advise A2 & me early on was not to let A talk dominate the conversation between us. We set aside 30min a day -used the oven timer(dont laugh) - didn't always stop when important things were being said, but it helped keep things in context. Made A2 feel in control and me safe.
You know I think thats one of the worst things for you BS, at least for men. The total loss of control of the situation until the WW wants to make good if they do of course.
Well keep it up ktu, vent if you want by email if you need to instead of here on the board, A2 might be willing to discuss it with you, he can B*tch about me to you then too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> That is OK you know because I did hurt that wonderful man. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
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