This Christmas weekend was definitly something to remember it was the first without my W. I had an emotional attack Christmas eve. I am better now but sunday when she came to pick up the kids something happened. She came to the door and acted fine, t he kids were ready to go I just told her to get their things. She said for me to bring them to the door cause she couldn't come in. I asked why , she said wasn't allowed. i kind of got upset cause she would never have let me get away with controling her like that . si I told her she had to step in t get the things , She almost cried and went down the stairs. Next thing I know he is peeling out of my parking lot. I was so mad and confused. She left all the kids things , their coats and all. So later I called his cell phone to ask why left like that . We had some words and all . He even told me she wasn't the only one he is with and told it to her. She even got on the phone to tell me she knew she wasn't the only one. I was definitly angry then. She could forgive me for what I did to her and now she leaves me for a guy that admitts she isn't the only one. I left her a message lat4er that night after I went drinking, which I shouldn't hafve done. Now monday and today she has left me messages from her mother's house but I kep missing her call so Idon't know if she has left him or she is just visiting. I also don't know if she says she wants to come back it will be cause she wants to be with me or just so she won't be at her mother's....I am tottally confused I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP AGAIN.. <BR>JAC

Jac,<P>Don't try to make sense out of what is going on with your wife right now. She is probably not being completely honest with you and trying to make sense out of half truths or lies will likely make you crazy (take my word for it). Right now all you can do is deal with you. Let your wife deal with her self and the situation she has gotten her self into. I see earlier that you were going to see a counciler. Have you had a chance to do that yet or read any books on affairs? You need to concetrate on changing yourself and the best way to do that is learn all you can about affairs and relationships. Changing you is the only way that your wife will feel safe coming back to you, if that is what you want. Confrontations with her won't make her feel safe. Calling the other man and getting in arguments with him won't help either (again, I know that from experience). Again, don't try to figure out your wifes actions, just accept them. If your wife comes back to your home, take advantage of it as a way to help make her to feel like staying. <P>Good luck and much patience.<P>

Well I have seen a councellor and I just don't know what to have him help me with or what to expect. I have another session today and I hope I can clearly state waht i feel. I guess you are right about not trying to make sense of her, but it is just so hard. I also found out she is only at her motther's cause he is going out of town for a few days. She says she want to talk tonite. Should I? or should I just continue to keep it strictly talk about the kids. Man I fel like moving on but it makes me feel like I am giving up. I just can't think straight. I can't stop thinking about her.