<B>sidney</B>...<BR>It is so great to see the immediate help we give each other... <P><B>waitinB</B>...<BR>Thank you for your words of encouragement too!...<BR>And... thanks for letting me know there will be progress... I just have to be patient! <BR>God has given me some time... what I do with it is up to me.<BR>(infamous double-post... it happens to us all)<P><B>NoTrust</B>...<BR>Thanks... yes... I find Steve to be very perceptive. <P><B>Desiree</B>...<BR>On the advice about the divorce... after our state's "early settlement panel" extensions have been exhausted... I should make a direct appeal to the judge to give me more time... if need be, I should explain some of this Plan A stuff to the judge. There is no date for the divorce yet... attorneys have been told "we" would be trying to settle out of court back in August... and so far no change. I should not rock the boat and tell her I am slowing down the process... to my W... this would be another love buster... (see what I mean about breathing!)<P>Don't... <B>anticipate and expect</B>... that is what is killing you...<P>I too am praying for all of us... <B>strength</B> and <B>patience</B>.<P>BTW. An explanation of how to do <B>bold</B> and <I>italics</I> printing of text is found here... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ubbcode.html" TARGET=_blank>WHAT IS UBB CODE?</A>.<P><B>mitzi</B>...<BR>Share with us mitzi... <BR>Start a new post... don't leave in buried in this long thread... Let us all help you!!!<P><B>Peter</B>...<BR>You're right... there is no shame in humility! <P>You are all so wonderful... <BR>Thank you... <P>Working hard to save this marriage, <BR>Jim<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited December 29, 1999).]

Jim,<BR>I did post 2 times. Once last night and once this morning. (Insomnia again and Lost) Check them out, it will explain things a little better.<BR>Thanks friend!

Jim,<P>I am on my way out the door for the movie. One quick question.<P>I know I am sabotaging myself with anticipation and expectations. <P>HOW do you or anybody else that wants to answer stop yourslef from doing this?????? You are right, it is killing me and heaping this depression on me - from unfilled expectations about Christmas - really my fault under the circumstances. <P>Desiree<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

<B>mitzi</B>...<BR>I'm going to you post now...<P><B>Desiree</B>...<BR>How to avoid setting up <B>anticiptation</B> and <B>expectations</B>... Hmmmm... this is hard...<BR>I think that the answer has to be in<BR>1. Giving your pain to the Lord... Pray!<BR>2. Thinking of your spouse as being in a deep "sickness"/"addiction".<BR>3. Learn to forgive <B>everything</B>... yes... 7X70... and even more.<BR>4. Keep the ney-sayers away...<BR>5. Come to the forum for support! (this is key for me!)<P>You know... All of this is hard... <BR>I know it too... but I'm going to try.<P>Jim

<B>Jim,</B><P>I am practicing the "bold" thing on your name to see if I got it right. If so, I need to try to do the quote thing, although I did not really understand how to do it even after reading the directions.<P>About keeping the nay-sayers away: I have got people coming at me from all angles starting to tell me to get the hell out of Dodge City. I guess this is part of my mass confusion at this point. <P>I understand about keeping the expectations low and I am trying everyday to give this to God. I do have an expectation right now: My H told me he would call me and I am WAITING, WAITING and STILL WAITING. That was a week ago today and he still hasn't called, so it is hard not to be disappointed and further disillusioned.<P>I guess I will wait some more and see when and if he calls and what he says when and if he does. It is possible that he won't call even though he said he would and just "see" me next time he pops over and I happen to be here. This is <B>SO</B> hard. How can I possibly deposit any love units???????????????????<P>Desiree<P><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

waitinB,<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I keep going back to the SAA book that notes that an affair typically dies a natural death within 6 months to two years of seeing the light of day.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><B>Woo hoo! More than halfway there!</B> <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

<B>Jim,</B><P>This is a practice on the quote thing:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>How to avoid setting up anticiptation and expectations... Hmmmm... this is hard...<BR>I think that the answer has to be in<BR>1. Giving your pain to the Lord... Pray!<BR>2. Thinking of your spouse as being in a deep "sickness"/"addiction".<BR>3. Learn to forgive everything... yes... 7X70... and even more.<BR>4. Keep the ney-sayers away...<BR>5. Come to the forum for support! (this is key for me!)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>These are great words of wisdom. I think I do good on many of these, but guess I need to continue to do each better than before.<P>Thanks, <P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

<B>Desiree</B>...<BR>Congratulations on the <B>bold</B> and <B>quote</B> thing...<P>Little things like this are fun... <P>About the expectations...<BR>Again... think of this "thing"... as a sickness. How good was you H at keeping his promise of returning calls when he was healthy?... I'll be honest with you... I was terrible (men and forgetfulness... go hand in hand... at any age.)<P>A man who truly is in 'romantic' love will keep that kind of a promise.<P>How to deposit love units...<BR>If you don't <B>know</B> how to provide emotional needs(i.e. love units... and what kind)... "trial and error" is what Steve recommended... Of course the chance of you hitting the "nail on the head" are slim... (all the more reason <B>not</B> to raise your expectations!)<P><B>Chris</B>...<BR>Right behind you... 37.5% of the 2 years for me!<P>Jim