Hey kids,<p>Hate to post and run. I will try to get more up later, but I had to put this up.<p>Don't panic, I'm not looking for anything outside of my M. I think Orchid is right, I just need to relax and ignore her more. I'm getting better at ignoring her.<p>EDIT:<p>On the not looking thing. I have had social contact with 2 females other than my W over the last 3 months. One is SMW the other is my mother. I don't think Orchid will be sending anyone with her squishy baseball bat my direction. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>On the ignoring thing. It is difficult, but with practice and some help from boredom and apathy I get by. It is a bit disconcerting that I find myself apaththetic. I never wanted to "not care" about my M or my W.<p>Thanks
Rev<p>[ February 07, 2002: Message edited by: rev ]</p>

Don't panic, I'm not looking for anything outside of my M. I think Orchid is right, I just need to relax and ignore her more. I'm getting better at ignoring her.<p>Thanks
Rev<p>Hey Rev this just may be what you need to survive the emotional roller coaster ride you've been experiencing. I'm glad you came to this conclusion because I too was going to suggest it.<p>The problem with WS is that you can not trust anything they say while being involved with OP. But I guess you learned that lesson the hard way didn't you?<p>I've been glued to the monitor now for a few hours reading every single post from your thread and I see very little effort on her part to actually end her A and go back to you. Now don't take this as me saying to ignore every excellent piece of advice fro Redhat and Orchid. Far from it, I especially like Orchid's saying that you are not losing her but that she is losing you.<p>Ignoring her words (remember 'actions not words'?)about returning home and then saying you two should get a D and then once more talk about returning home. She's lost her credibility and therefore your trust in her word.<p>She'll probably sense your distant behavior and maybe ask herself a few questions. So far she beleives that you have been there for her but with this new attitude of yours, she might question this beleif.<p>Just remember that even God's patience has its limits.<p>Good luck and God bless.<p>Joe<p>[ February 07, 2002: Message edited by: justanotherjoe ]</p>

Hiya Rev,<p>How are you doing?<p>L.

Hey kids,<p>Sory it's been a while. I've been trying to work my way through all the stuff I put on my calendar, thanks to RedHat's advice. I got callled "superdad" the other day. Family commitment is one of her top ENs so <p>I have managed to Plan A myself into illness. My lack of sleep has finaly cought up with me. RedHat said I had to be at her every beck and call, and I have been. No Red, I'm not holding you responsible, and even if I did, I think you would agree that saving my M is worth catching a cold. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I have both good and bad news to report. The good news is that I talked with W about "us" a day or so back and she told me that her LB$ no longer has me in the red. The bad news is that she has become a cake eater. OK, so the cake eater thing isn't so bad at this point. I know a number of people here struggle with the whole cake eating thing. I will probably struggle with it eventualy as well, but right now I'm ok with it since it allows me to rebuild my balance in her LB.<p>She is still living with OM, but is spending more and more time with me as time goes on.<p>I'm still working on buying the house. I mention that because it was such a turning point. Being able to purchase the house without W gave me the confidence to be my own person. I could be there for her when she wanted, and do my own thing when she didn't. It gives here a chance to be herself and figure out what she wants.<p>Well, actualy I think it has given her time to assert herself with OM. She has a strong, assertive, and independant personality. I think he treats her more like a doughter than an equal. That doesn't fly with her. Sometimes you have to accept the damage done by the bull in the china closet, b/c right or wrong, you won't change the bulls mind. OM at 50+ may be a bit set in his ways to understand this, and not understanding this is a major LB for her.<p>Other than that life has been fairly stable. I think things are getting better, but I'm still not getting my hopes up quite yet. She says her C thinks she is about ready to move back, and she agrees. A few more weeks will tell, and I'll believe it when I see it. Her credibility is a little weak right now. Her actions are not as consistent with her words as I would like yet.<p>Sory it's been so long. I guess sometimes you have to stop talking the talk and begin walking the walk. My walk has taken time away from this board, but I'll try to get back more often.<p>Thanks,
Rev<p>[ February 16, 2002: Message edited by: rev ]</p>

Hey Rev,<p>Been checkin up on you and glad to see you are still here!!! Well u know what I mean. I am just headed for home from......work... <p>Sorry you caught a cold but if that is the worst it gets, then lots of orange juice, vitamin C and homemade chicken soup!!! <p>Cakeeaters get fat! Mine was a cakeeater/cheater/walker also. Hm......... eventually they get tired of it. <p>U though hang tough K? Keep moving forward and don't worry about being at her bec and call. You have already established that you are very capable of being a good H and Father. Just continue to be that example but heroics and slavery are not required. <p>Honesty and love are important. <p>Hugz,
L.

rev,<p>Hey, probably you will hold me responsible too for letting her be come a cake woman ... LOL !!!. With the depth of your issues, you have to have patience and I commend you for that. We are competing with OM and see who finish the finish line.<p>What does W say about getting the house ?. Does she know about it ?. If FS is one of her top ENs, you might have to get it even while OM is in the pictures. Just find a way to protect yourself financially. In CA is 50-50, don't matter much. I am thinking to move out too and away from OM but I am looking for support around the new area for my 2 D. I do not count on her support at all.

Hey Rev,<p>How are you doing?<p>L.

Rev Lives,<p>Ok, so I'm living life like a blind man.<p>I just wanted you all to know I'm still around and doing the plan A thing. Not much change in the situation. I have reached what I think is a very sick state of acceptance. I can't believe I'm "OK" in this situation the way it is. I am getting good feedback from W. She keeps asking why I couldn't have been "like this" a long time ago, but she's still living with OM. Go figure. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I havn't been posting to others again b/c I feel that if I haven't been able to get my M back on track, how can I help others.<p>I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still here, and mail to rev is still read.<p>Thanks
Rev

rev,<p>Time to call SH. When I bag my head against the wall, he helped me out. Since you know a lot already about MB, you only need a couple of session to help you out. Get as much info and questions as you can before you call.<p>Hey, even you have not save your M ... remember you were also helping Torizo [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>-RH-

Hiya Rev,<p>Been wondering about you and almost sent the LB fairie to check up on you!!! Sorry I haven't e-mailed but honestly was going to soon. This board has been kinda busy. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Well, U can still help. You've done it before. Lots of H's out there needing help. <p>Sorry things are still in the same place. Eventually your mind and heart will meet up and you will decide what you will do. Be patient. <p>Have you read Loveherstill's posts? His daughter wrote a letter to his W. Hm.......heartwrenching but better to get it out in the open. The kids need to be able to vent. How are your little ones doing?<p>RH could use a helping hand right now. I think he is running out of steam!!! <p>Take Care,
L.

RedHat, Orchid, Z,<p>Just a note to let you all know that I'm still alive.<p>It has been an interesting couple of months. Mabey someday I'll fill in the details, but here is the nutshell version.<p>W is still living with OM is still a cake eater and is still seeing C.
W has spent 3 nights with me over the last 2 weeks. (Progress?.?. I hope so.)
House deal fell through, got sued, had to move. (not as bad as it sounds)
Kids spend most nights with me.
I'm still working Plan A.
C told me that I had found enough acceptance of the situation that she didn't need to see me again untill I start Plan B. (I don't know what that means)<p>Thanks
Rev<p>[ May 21, 2002: Message edited by: rev ]</p>

rev,<p>Glad you still remember us ... we are dealing with shark loving BS (Seahorse) to Kickboxer BS (Forgiver) and more ...<p>When you have enough to show WS your changes and there is no more progress or impact ... it is time to draw the boundry. Don't be blackmailed b/c of you past. We can not change the past, not even the present and you only could change the future. Take the control back w/ love and care and states to her that you might not be able to take it b/c it will drain you love and stick w/ your boundry.<p>Good Luck -RH-

Rev,<p>Good to hear from you. Sorry circumstances still are down. U sound upbeat though. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>How are the children? U ready to put some frosting on that cake yet?!?!?! Let me know. I have some doozy ideas. U know me! LOL!!<p>Had some crazy incidents nothing earth shaking just crazy. A appears to have died now working on the attitude. Anger on his part seems to be under better control. H is having an improved relationship with his son so this is a good thing. <p>I understand if yo feel frustrated, I know we all just want our lives back in order. <p>Take Care,
L.

Hey Rev,<p>Have you forgotten that you are suppose to respond when we respond to your response???? LOL!! Just kidding!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

Red Hat & Orchid,<p>Hey Guys, <p>Have good news, we're back together. Squirt moved back in on May 27th, and has promissed to make this work. ("yes I made that promise" (squirt)). We are still having some ruff times, but we are working our way through them. ("i'm still a very angrey person" (squirt)) As you can see we are both writing this right now. We just wanted to share the good news with everyone, we'll catch up to you later and give all the details but we have a baseball game to go to(see the boy's ball schedule under "my schedule" at syswiz.net) this is a make up game.<p>Later
Rev & Squirt

Hi Rev and Squirt,<p>Well you 2 have certainly made this 'ol MB lady smile. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Now all the wrinkles are gone!!! LOL!<p>You are back but with a some anger Squirt? Well whatcha plan to do about it? Don't answer me, that's something for you to ponder over. <p>I am certainly happy for the both of you and want to let you both know that the Ws in our home has relinquished the WS title and now is an H. <p>All is not well or fixed in MB land but most are moving forward. As you can both see, many new ones have been added with similar pain and stories when you first came aboard. <p>Come here if it helps. We do care about both of you and your family. <p>Rev, I am working on that family pix. H finally taught me how to scan. I am a slow learner but hope to get it out to ya all soon!!! Hope that's ok. Squirt, if it is not, just say the word. K? No such things as hurt feelings on this end. <p>Nope nope nope. OW seems to finally be out of this home and I am glad. Now we are also working on 'anger management' and he may be graduating to the happy class. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Will keep ya all posted. <p>Take care and thanks for the good news.

rev,<p>wow ...<----- [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] -----><p>Catch up w/ you later. I have to get some sleep [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] -RH-

Red Hat,

Here is the update!!

Squirt and I have had our problems over the past few months, but overall it seems to be going well. I need to stay focused on W EN's but squirt reminds me when I forget.

Thanks
Rev

The cow had came home so you have to treat her right <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . It is a very long gap from June 02 - Apr 03 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ... but you definitly a very long distance runner in your plan A outlast me. I called mine quit last year. Anyway, I am glad you come to post. It is a very short post <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

-rh-

REV!!!!

Good to hear from you. I don't come over this way too much anymore but you know 'ol RH throws a post out on GQII to step over here and welp, here I is!!! LOL!!!

Tell Squirt I said Hi!!! Hope all is getting better with you and your family.

take care and please keep us posted.

L.
ps: Remember we will always have something to work on!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />