pqstill,

I agree with you completely. I have had a very difficult time coming to terms with what is going on at the moment. I now feel really empowered knowing that I don't need to check.

I also think of my WS as sick with an addiction and who needs help. By doing this it lifts the blame and makes me want to help her out of it (a different way of looking at the issue). I find I feel much less angry and resentful. It also feels empowering that we know more about what is happening in the WS's head, their behavior and the future then they do.

I know I can't achieve much by confronting WS or by trying to educate her. Pointing out inconsistencies at the right time and in the right way helps I think - it gives the WS guilt trips. I can also make her feel guilty by being really considerate and by not using LBs even at the worst of situations (plan A). I think this tactic helps the situation without letting on - it gives me a weapon in a way.

My overall view is that I am going to turn this into a positive situation so that I gain maximium benefit. In the end I will walk away as the proud winner in all of this - with or without my WW. I will not give in. When I look back I will know that I put in 100% when the challenge came and I can be at peace with myself. And what others think - I think they can only respect me for my courage.

Plan A will make me a much better person. If it is without her then I will be a better partner for the next person. If she comes with me she has a lot to gain. If she chooses not to then she will learn very little from all of this and she loses. (Fortunately I don't have kids).