my H. claims he has had n/c with o/w for 8 weeks and 4 days i checked all his cell phone records i checked everything i don't want to say all i have done because he can read this but i have done it all except to follow him and see if he is using a payphone that could be the only thing i haven't checked but i won't stoop to following him. he says he feels the same he doesn't know if he is in love with me after 28 yrs. of marriage and 32 years together.i don't understand alot of the other posts the spouse says i love you i want to make it work. my H. says i love you but i am not in love with you. he says he wants to miss me and he wants to feel like he can't wait to get home to be he wants to be able to tell me he loves me 20 times a day. he says he just not feeling it.we go to marriage counseling. he goes to i/c. he is allso a recovering alcoholic and addict been clean and sober for 13 yrs.he says he wants to move out to see if he misses us.he keeps looking in the paper for places to live he looked at one about a month ago and called and canceled it. he looked at another last week and sayed it was too small and not really nice. i don't know what to think it would almost be easier if i had proof he was talking or seeing her so i could just kick him out. this is torture i'm so afraid i really love my husband with all my heart.i keep going on with my life, like tonight i'm going with my sister her husband and some friends to the dog track i asked my H. if he would like to come he said no. i feel we are not working on our marriage. do you think plan B. should be used in this case, or should i just keep plan A-ing all the way. de

yes he has a sponsor and has been in A.A. for 13 yrs. goes to meeting all the time.i have gone to al-anon allso. de

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dekicks:
<strong>.... i feel we are not working on our marriage. do you think plan B. should be used in this case, or should i just keep plan A-ing all the way. de</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">how long have you plan A'ng ?. Have you reviewed your Plan A ? What are his reaction when you fillin his ENs ?, rejections ?. This is the key to go to plan B. You need to protect LB$ if you can't do any deposit, sooner or later you will LB.

When indoubt do nothing (be consistent) and keep plan A'ng all the way( be presistent). When indoubt you assume the worst, contact still exists and plan A your butt off. Until fog is completly lifted WH won't be able to return and fillin your ENs. It is sucks but the altenative is not pretty either.

Hang in there and vent in here -rh-