He emailed stating no contact, then he later called and said "no contact".
Don't do this. When the no contact letter is sent, don't respond to anythng sent.

Part of "no contact" is not reading mail or listening to voicemail/messages. Just delete them. Then you won't be tempted to reply.

Besides if you do reply, then you are showing the op that "no contact" doesn't really mean that.

As promised...She did it!!!

She called me afterwords and explained how things happened and that she believed he would honor her decision of NC. We have couples counceling set-up for Monday where we will formulate a plan and set some bounderies. We are going to take it slow for now. She is going to stay at her dads when in town (for now) and we will communicate some. All to be determined in counseling. So for now, things are looking up. I will keep you posted and thanks again for all your support...EVERYONE!!!

e believed he would honor her decision of NC
If he contacts her in ANY way, she should tell you immediately. If she were to even see him across a parking lot, she tells you.
Also, do not respond to anything from him, even to let him know, “really, we mean no contact”. No contact is both ways.

Chris. Thanks for the continued good advice. It is easy to get mixed up and you help keep things clear.

I wanted to post some advise I got from someone else on another thread. I don't think they will mind if I post it here. I just want to know what others think about this advice:

"Ok, before I say congrats I wanna say DON'T TAKE IT SLOW!! No no no...you have a window of opportunity...a small amount of time really...and if you don't take full advantage of that honeymoon period to really work on your relationship and gaining some real feelings back, things will start to slip away again. Especially since she'll be fighting withdrawl, too.

One other thing...if she does go through a tough withdrawl and starts to slip back in to the WS mentality, try your best to remain calm and strong. If she sees you are scared, she'll believe what she's saying...if she sees that you KNOW what you're talking about when you say you can work it out...she'll feel more confident in trusting what you're saying. Know what I mean??"

End

Half of me wants to follow this advice and the other half thinks pushing her will only push her away. She has expressed that she needs time and to do things very slowly. I can respect that now that OM is gone. I don't want to loose my "window" though. What does everyone else think?

<small>[ October 18, 2003, 11:22 AM: Message edited by: Neb ]</small>