<B>ceecee,</B><P>Great advice I really do need to think about getting the tests. I guess I need to make an appointment with the doctor. I have put off even THINKING about it. It really sucks for me big time. I have had 2 lovers...both my H's and now I gotta go and get some STD tests. I will probably die of humiliation asking the doctor for the tests and having to explain this to him. I'll probably cry in the office. Cr@p!! <P><B>Bob,</B><P>I work in a hospital and know how those rumor mills work. They go like wildfire without any fuel. I feel badly your W is unjustly accused on that front. Yes, see above...I need to call the doctor and have just been procrastinating because I haven't wanted to have to deal with this. Thanks for the support! <P><B>Bill,</B><P>Yes, GA has concealed carry laws. My H has the permit. You have to get finger-printed and have an FBI check to get the permit. You can then get reciprocity in some states - he can also carry in FL by applying there, too, which he has. I never worried about my safety when H was here, but with the boys all being older and gone so much and no H now, I do worry about being alone. I have the gun and should be able to know how to properly use it if I needed to. I can load and shoot it, but I am not comfortable with it, if you know what I mean. I don't know that I would necessarily carry it, but do want to be able to use it if someone came into my house.<P>Yes, I may go to the range next weekend...giving me something to look forward to. Good idea...thanks! I need to practice in case my services are neede on LRB. UGGHHH! Just thinking about him makes me mad <P><B>sidney,</B><P>Thanks, I did get your e-mail. Yes, I will wait a couple more days and if I still feel so down and obsessed about all this, I will talk to my doctor about the anti-depressants. I am not opposed to them. I was doing so well and just didn't need them. Boy, I have been in a major tizzy here for several week, though. Thanks again for keeping close tabs on me and helping me to "see". You are doing a great job on that!<P>Desiree<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

watch it...mother in lecture mode!<BR>RMA, I insist that you get those tests done. It really is not something that is on the choice menu, ya know. It is on the required menu. Besides you need the yearly pap and can do it all at the same time.<BR>It has no bearing on whether the ow was promiscuous or not! It is the sensible, adult decision that one needs to make to stay healthy. If you inmpaled yourself on rusty barb wire, would you get a tetanus host if it had been yrs since your last one? Of course you would. So where is the issue? Your insurance will cover it so stop messing around with this.<BR>Climbing down off the podium and expect results!

<B>cl,</B><P>BLUSH....Head hung in shame...hands folded behind my back.....<P>Yes, Mom, I have properly chastised here. I know I need the tests, I just haven't WANTED to go and tell the doctor I need the tests. My own pride and humiliation. Then, there is this little thing like...what the hell do you do if you find out anything's positive???????<P>Stupid and poor excuses. I know. Don't you know medical folks are always LAST at taking care of themselves????<P>I will call for the appointment Monday or Tuesday. I should have never mentioned it and I could have kept putting off dealing with it.....<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Brilliant decision my dear. <BR>You may have been able to keep the truth from us, but you still have to be honest with yourself. You still have the thoughts, so get thru with it, and I promise I will follow-up! <BR>I won't go for the humiliation part. This is something we see and hear everyday. It does make it easier for you, or right or wrong, but it is a fact of practice. They are professionals, it is not their job to pass judgment, it is their job to make sure you are taken care off. <BR>Simply state "I would like cultures and blood tests for all stds as well as my yearly pap. It is possible that my h was not faithful, and I am waiting for details, but I want to protect my health." <BR>That lays it on the line, closes the door for more questions at the same time, since you stated you know nothing more. <BR>In the meantime, stick with your plan, do not listen to the gossipers that need to get a life, and work on self issues that you can change. Do you need to work on self honesty? That is a good one to tackle if it is an issue. Or flexibility, which may enable you to handle the painful cirumstances better? <BR>I will nag you next week!!

<B>cl,</B><P>Darn, no way to get out of these tests now! Me and my big mouth...OK, I am gonna do it for ME.<P>You are asking me some good questions. I certainly have issues...what are they?? Right now I couldn't tell you for sure with true clarity what I need to work on first. On second thought...I do know the answer of what I have to work on first....my FIXER and EDUCATOT issues. My counselor said I am not only a super high functioning person, but I am over-functioning. I feel responsible for everybody and want to help everybody. {WARNING>>>This leads to LBs galore!}<P>See the problem here?? I want to "fix" H and "educate" H to save him from his own mistakes. I feel RESPONSIBLE for my H and his mistakes. Really, it has less to do with my EA than my basic personality. I had to assume some major responsibility as a very young child and I am still functioning in that mode.<P>My head knows that my H is the only one who can decide if he wants to be fixed and then the only one who can take the steps to fix himself. All of my battles with myself and interactions with H have revolved around me trying to solve this problem for him. I am working on letting go of this self-assumed responsibility - it isn't my job. I need to do this for BOTH of us.<P>Thanks for giving me another opportunity to remind myself of this. I guess I am hard-headed and a slow-learner on some things...<P>Desiree

Hey, Desiree.<P>I'm sure glad everyone else was here for good advice for you. sorry, I'm late. Did a bit of trying to wash away my own troubles and paid for it mightily!! Now I know why I haven't done that in 20 years!!! OWWWW.<P>So, you're not gonna believe rumors, you're getting the tests done and proceeding on course. Good for you.<P>I'll be back watching for you. Hang in there, ok?<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{desiree}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Lori

Desiree,<P>I forgot to ask what kind of bike do you have?<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

<B>Lori,</B><P>Thanks for helping to keep me straight here, Momma. You weren't around, so <B>cl</B> stepped up to the plate and filled your shoes. Sorry things aren't working the way we all want right now. Keep praying...God will answer all of our prayers in His own time... <P><B>Bill,</B><P>I ride a 450 cc Honda. H and boys have Harleys and we have another Honda, too. All the boys ride and have bikes but one. The last boy is going to take the motorcycle safety class put on by the Ga State Patrol when in starts up again in the spring. We each took the class, including H, but H already had been riding for years. Did it to show the boys how important we think safe riding is. I had never ridden until I took the class - had only been a passenger. It is great FUN!! <P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

The boys in your club wouldn't like my bike. I'm hooked on sport riding. There isn't much more I like better than finding the twistiest road I can and scraping my knee on the ground.<P>I have a Honda CBR 600.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

I have a 10 speed Huffy in case anyone cares!

OK you two,<P>I am planning a MBF cruise on another thread and we can plan a MBF RIDE (rider's choice of vehicle!) on this thread! If any of us is still alive come springtime, we can meet somewhere in the central US and ride in circles for days to remind us of our current situations!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL....HAHAHA<P>...LOLOLOLOLOL....HAHA...<P><BR>I would love to cruise around in circles!!!<P><BR>...HEHEHEHEHEHE....<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<P>Yeah...we could go on permanent vacation and keep charging those cute little drinks with the umbrellas to our room 'cause you don't have to pay until the cruise is over!!!!! You get the virgin drinks! <P>Desiree<P><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

I can't tell you how <B>COOL</B> I Feel <BR>when I order a Shirley Temple...lol<P><BR>I love to stump bartenders w/this one...<P>I'll have a virgin Cuba Libra...lol<P>90% have no idea what I'm talking about<P>I give em a you [censored] look and say I'll have a coke...da ha<P><BR>B<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

<B>Bill,</B><P>If it will make you feel better - you order the Roy Rodgers and I'll order the Shirley Temple (with umbrellas and extra cherries, of course) and then we'll switch! you stumped ME on the Cuba Libra - what the heck is that???<P><B>Tim</B>, what are you drinking?????<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

<P>Rum & Coke w/a lime wedge.<P>What is a Roy Rogers?<P>B<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<P>A Roy Rogers is a Shirley Temple with a coke instead of a 7-Up. <P>You could have a virgin Cuba Libra - coke and lime...sounds as...uhm, WONDERFUL as the Roy Rogers!! <P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

I'm in agreement with Medic. 10 speed for me please!! My kids actually laugh at me when I get on one of their bikes. Do I suddenly feel old or what???

We'll need to be careful sucking down those drinks. I'd hate to go over the rail into the water all loaded on soda...<P>I can see it now.<P>What happened to Bill? Oh you wouldn't believe it, we told him he needed to slow down on those Shirley Temples and Roy Rogers. He told us to mindour own buisness, he's fine. We offered to help him get back to his cabin, and he got really ugly. I never knew someone could use that many profanities in one sentence. Well the next thing you know he's getting sick over the side of the ship and someone tries to help him. What does he do? He tells this Sumaritin to **** off and then he takes a swing at him. The Sumaritin ducks and Bill goes right over the side. We all warned him we told him to slow down but...<P><P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

<B>Mitzi,</B><P>Wanna go on a MBF cruise or the MBF ride - either one or both! I'm personally goin on both. I will sign up for just about anything! Starty getting in shape - either for riding or drinking drinks with umbrellas on the cruise. Either way...gotta start to practice! <P><B>Bill,</B><P>This is WAYYYY too fun! I like your rendition of the cruise. BUT, you know, if you go man over board, how are you gonna go on the ride???? We would hate to have the ride without ya! So, when we go on the cruise, we will take shifts counting your drinks. If you get too rowdy, we'll just cut back on the cherries. Don't want you to get too many cherries! <P>By the way,,,where is everybody else? How come we only got a few folks signed up for this cruise??????? Don't ya'll want to go somewhere nice and sunny????? <P>Start a sign-up list and I'll personally collect your down-payment on the fares later. I gotta go to sleep now 'cause I go back to work tomorrow. <P>Will check on you guys tomorrow. Try not to have TOO much fun without me!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>