RH also I've changed my sign on to the one listed
"freetobe".

freetobe,

I read your posts, you are a quick learner <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . It seems like you have a good grasp on MB concept. Your challenge would be applying it. As you know plan A from a distance is a lot harder, you only separate if you are in danger of physical or verbal abuse or Plan B. How to plan A from a distance ?, comunication is the key in here. Maximize the contact !. Keeps the ties open, this including bring 3 S to him youself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . Are all of them his ?, just curious. Now you know what you want and understand MB, plan A (showing that you could change), avoid LB and fillin ENs as much as he allows you too. Forget about OW right now. It takes time to repair the damage that you have cause and you need a solid plan A before you go to plan B. You will feel like doormat, you have no choice in this case, you want to be right but Dv or trying to work on M. One good thing about WF, he is a giver and you have to be a skillfull taker. Be venurable and let him become your knight of the shining armor. Be depended on him yet not clingy, when he did thing for you, blow his ego sky high.

What do you know about OW ?. You are competing with OW fillin his ENs, you should know your enemy.

About me ? Read in my profile. I have no more LB$ for her and Dv is my last draw. I am still NC with my exW not b/c I am angry but I refuse to be the punching bag for her. I forgive her for what she had done but I would not take her back. Forgiveness is a must but reconsilition is optional.

I am just waiting for my financial settlement to be done, I know I have burning & longing desire to give my love to someone. I know I am capable of giving love even more than what I had gave to my exW but I don't wnat to drag someone to this mess. For now I channel some of that energy to care others that are hurting & serving HIM <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

-rh-

Rh Hi
Thank you for sharing and the compliments.
No we only have only 1 S and I was putting his age in there.
Which is actually 2. I corrected it in my profile info.
I realized today that he might have taken the Ow to his family
today. There is a family emergency and I opted not to go because
he didn't ask me to. His family knows me like I am family.
They called me when the situation happened.

I got so angry that I was afarid of myself but managed to calm down.
Again it seems that you are right. The more I seem to stay with him
there was less contact with OW. Now it seems to be growing. I found
out that a job came through that I was looking for there. But I would
have to live with him to work on it and don't know if this is best
right now. WOuld you suggest that I try to? You are right applying what i've
laerned is the difficult part.

About her:
OW is younger than both of us.
Judgemental, likes talking me down to him.
M and has C.
Attractive but somewhat plain in my eyes
(beauty in the eye of the beholder thing).
Into the oral stuff (you know).
Is very talkative and expressive.
Is persistent. Ex: You tell her to never come to your house again you open the front door one day and there she stands with coffee in hand starting a conversation. She test her limits to see if you mean what you say.
She is somewhat controlling (calls constantly even when he was trying to stop calling her)
Her H seems not to pay her much attention.
I'm wondering if he has left her.
I never told her H about them. DO you think I still should?
She told him (WF) she wouldn't leave him (her H) because of financial reasons and she loves them both. But why the heck won't she work on her M instead of trying to block our R, UUUGH? I know I know he is the idiot supporter
(LBing disrepsectiful judgements, better I here than to him) That is all I know for now.

Rh thanks for being willing to help others and those that are hurting. You are such a generous heart. How have you managed to hold on to love
with what you've gone through? I hope you find that special person to give your love to. Wishing you all the best.

freetobe,

You have a S and he needs his father. You should try your best to save your M. I would try to move in again but I would not push it. I would also contact OWH and give him the fact and let him know about this site.

Talking down about you is actually LB to your H the same way when you talk down about OW <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Did your WF tell you about what he see in OW ?. Oral thing ?. Just listen to WF ... he might say "Someone told me that xxxyyyyzzzz " or something like that. You know that someone is OW. You know plan A is basically you are competeting with OW. If WF become cake eater you should find a time limit to break it up w/ plan B. For now you have to be cautious, you have too much to loose. She just a renter, you could outlast her.

Does his family know his A ? you have let the family know.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How have you managed to hold on to love
with what you've gone through? I hope you find that special person to give your love to. Wishing you all the best.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks. This painfull incident bring the better side of me and makes it shine. I learn who I am and I faced my deamon. This A/Dv changed my life forever but I determine to make it for the better. Live, Love & Learn -rh-

RH <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Hi. Well I hadn't heard from my WF for a while. Then he sent me a message telling me that he took some time to think things over and he misses me. I'm still wondering where his head and heart are. I think I need to have the serious talk with him but I am afraid of what I will hear. Still not able to locate OW H just yet. Eyes open to read, Ears open to hear.