She was a no show for this evening.Another let down. But I worked around the house today.Organizing,throwing stuff out,cleaning. I spent the better part of the evening in the garage working on the 68 Camaro.Had the music blaring and just focused.Then that D@#$ song from Nickelback "someday" came over the airwaves and put a nice melancholy mood over me. Before she moved out,that song came over the radio and she said it reminded her of us."someday,somehow gonna make it alright,but not right now.Like a paperback novel,let's re-write an ending that fits,instead of a Hollywood horror." I've been wanting to learn to play the guitar for years. I'm a great writer,probably come up with some good stuff with everything going on in me right now. I'll give it a go here soon.
I've got a phone counciling session with Dr.Harley in the a.m. Hopefully he has some better insight into this stuff.
I got an email from the WW today.Saying she has some of my pics she is putting into a scrapbook for me and if I want them back til she is ready to tell her.She also made mention of changing my beneficiary stuff. I told her to keep the pics til she's ready and I said I'm keeping the beneficiary the same as of now.

You are doing great. Yeah, there is always a song that will put you into a mood, but it is good to let your feelings out sometimes.

The counseling will really help you. You could go to a regular counselor for 6 months and not get to the point like the Harley's can. Just remember that it will take some time for your wife to sort this out. But the changes you make will lure her back to the marriage.

In the meantime, working on house, car, etc. will make you feel good about yourself - and you need to feel good about something right now. You can learn to take care of yourself while wife is in this fog.

John39: Hello, I read your post and WOW! what an inspiring message. I can feel the love of God in you. I was feeling confused and the impulse to stop trying was blown away by your post. Thank you. I am trying to do Plan A. I have been on the rollercoaster for 4 yrs. that I can honestly address. I am in support at church and going to counselor. I have wrestled with the WS denial of the issues and problems. I have been reaffirmed by your posting. Thanks again. Peace

br6870: I can feel your pain. I read your post and can identify with some areas. I can tell you that having gone through a divorce at 28 yrs. It will only change the names and living addresses. It doesn't end the pain and suffering that is present now and in the future. It will be carried in every relationship you have. I can honestly state that had I known of Plan A 16 yrs. ago my life would be different now. I am a wise woman but some things you can't be your own therapist. Read John39 post and print it off. Ask God to pray for you and offending spouse. Are you sure of your salvation?? God created marriage so he doesn't want it destroyed. I can see with God's help and guidance that I listened to everyone but God yrs. ago and now I am confronted with another issue but still the same situation. Are you going to listen to God or you? God has all the answers and knows all the things that we are afraid to bring out. He has watched the whole thing. God can make changes and nothing is impossible. Ask your church to help show you the biblical principles. You WILL find the same methods of dealing with infidelity in the bible. The Harley's are an instructment of God working through them. Peace.

Had a great phone counseling session with Steve Harley this a.m.
I went to the courthouse this a.m. and had the divorce case dismissed! I don't want it. If she comes to a place where she wants it done. She will have to initiate it. I made a promise to my wife and God to love,honor and cherish as long as we shall live. I refuse to give up on that promise. Tomorrow when she comes to pick up our dog she will give me some LB's for sure.But I am walking with God through this and in Jesus' name I will continue to believe in a miracle.
I will abstain from LB's and show nothing but happiness!I need changes in me for me to get through this in one piece.Hopefully those changes are evident in me when she comes tomorrow.

That's good news. Keep your vows and you know you have done the right thing. Don't worry about your wife. While this is all going on, make changes and keep busy. She may stay away for awhile, but will be intrigued. As I told you, mine stayed away for three months, but now keeps showing up. After being with MB this long, I have much more strength to deal with it. You will too.

Funny, I always had time to watch tv before. Now I don't have enough time to finish everything I have going on in my garage!For all those reading this, pray for Darla in Boise that she may see through the fog.
Don't know about her being intrigued.I can see the angry outburst now....

I'm sure there will be lots of angry outbursts. But it takes awhile for them to come around.

I envy you being able to work on cars. I had a guy come fix the tail lights on my Cherokee today and it cost $135. Apparently the guy I bought it from had rewired it to tow something. So now it is fixed, and I am happy.

Keep busy and making changes. It will really help you out.

Ahh yes that reminds me I have a "list of changes" that I need to make. Annoying habits are at the top.Alcohol is easy,nicotine is a serious monkey.I heard Ozzy O. in an interview say that was the hardest habit to kick. I was going to quit today,but withdrawal makes me irritable and I want no LB's coming from me when I tell WW that I terminated the divorce proceedings. Off to compile the list, I'm running out of blank pieces of paper with all the note taking,song writing etc.

You're doing fine. Stay busy and things will get better. Don't expect wife to notice changes right away. But hang in there and keep making progress.

My WW called this a.m. with "business" which quickly turned to small talk. She calls me almost every day.
I told her that I cancelled the D and she didn't get angry. She was in shock more or less. Kept asking me if this was my way of hoping for us to get back together.I tried to be vague and gave no LB's.It went well. She left with the dog and gave me a hug.I told her it was nice to see her.She said it is nice to see you too.She didn't seemed quite as happy as she was a week ago.hmmm.. She also wanted to know that if she filed would I contest.I said no.Not knowing what to say. Well she has food for thought now....

What typical response can I expect? If she's really struggling she could make excuses to put it off.Though I will not bring it up. She doesn't even know why this happened again.She doesn't know that it could be fixed. She may not care with the thick fog she must be in right now.
She mostly goes through with something she makes her mind up about.Regardless of consequences. Stubborn I guess.

I had wondered if the decision to cancel the D was a good one. But after she left I started to feel real good about it, yes I do believe it was the right thing to do. Now I hope and pray that she sees something through the fog. I could see her as she walked through the house at some of the things I had done. She was really eyeballing things.Hope to deposit some LU's by fixing her car this week. I had also given some checks that her family had written to us for christmas that never got cashed back to her. She was trying to give them to me and told me to put them toward bills but I told her I was doing fine and to keep them.The OM couldn't hold a candle to what I am and what there could be,in time she'll see that.

You are on the right track, just keep it up. Besides wife noticing changes, it will give you something to feel good about. Let her know that you are doing fine without her. Don't talk relationship or pursue her. She will start wondering if she is giving up something she really wants.

Just a bit worried now that the ball is in her court so to speak will she file? She didn't work today so she had all day to take care of it.

Try not to obsess on what she may or may not do. It will drive you crazy. Keep busy fixing things, and you will get through this just fine.

Stay with the MB program. It seems like you are doing fine so far, much better than I did at first.

Learned some new info on OM,wow what a loser!
Only 32,D twice,2kids with first(8and9 yrsold), 2 with second(2and4 yrsold).Full custody first two,every other weekend other 2.First D was because W used drugs,second because W was an alcoholic.Sounds like a load of b.s.Now I guess second is interested in him again cuz he is dating someone.hmmmm.Also seconds family has money. Supposedly has contractors licence but just a apt.mx person.All this info came via M-inlaw.Dumped me for that? I don't see this making another six months.

He was probably giving her a line, and filling some of her emotional needs. Stay on your program and stay busy, make the home at whole new place. I only give them another 2 months.

I've heard it said knowledge can be empowering. But it can also drive a person to the brink of a psychosis. Is it wrong for me to feel good knowing that the OM is a human parasite? She has always claimed to be a good judge of character and usually she is.But,wow if there ever was someone not to get involved with,he is it.

He probably has a good rap. Yours needs to be better.