I was right,the Divorce papers were on the counter when I got home. Along with a note telling me to get them notarized and she'll pick them up on wednesday.Like I said before,if I don't she'll have to have me served.Once that is done,the only thing I can contest is the contents. She copied what I put down,ie.I take all the bills and the house.I could have her take half the bills.But she is entitled to half my retirement,which incidentally half the bills aside from the house.But that would be an LB I think.

Now isn't delaying "her" filing for divorce against the 180 list? Does it not show,that I'm not moving on with my life?

I know it's early in this plan A.But tonight I feel like giving up. We've been here before. How much do I have in me to give?

I happened to catch a program on t.v. this evening.It was on the church channel.The speaker was talking about Peter being on a fishing boat in a storm and an angel came to him and said the ship would be lost but nobody will perish,as long as everyone stays on the ship.They all made it shipwrecked on Malta in the Mediteranean. The speakers' message was to stay on the ship during the storm.Not all miracles create calm seas,sometimes they happen as we ride out the storm.That is what is keeping me on an even keel. Pun intended.Guess I'll deal with wednesday when it comes.

I worked on the paint(oxidized)on the Camaro we bought for WW this evening.I ended up sitting in the passenger seat talking to myself and God,looking at the empty drivers seat where my wife should be sitting.I've got a wallet sized portrait of us taken a few years ago wedged in the dash behind the steering wheel to remind me of happier times.I even talked to the picture.My heart is empty and my head is swimming a bit dazed and confused.

I've got a phone appt. in the a.m. with Steve Harley.I need the coaching.I also found a bunch of bible passages today on bible.com to read for guidance.seeya

Sorry to hear that. Stalling a divorce that you don't want is not an LB. Talk to Steve Harley in the morning and he will know the next step.

I will pray that your wife comes out of the fog before this goes much further.

Well I drafted a letter and emailed it to my WW this a.m. I mentioned my walk with God and praying for her and guidance for me. That there are alternatives that are possible and would it not be worth looking into. The possibility of us being happy together. The possibility of her being in love with me her husband. Before we can say that it's impossible we need to find out why. I added that I didn't want to anger or upset her or be disrespectful of her feelings with this letter. I only want to seek Gods will and his plan for our future.I said I wasn't looking for a commitment.

Now we'll see the out pouring of her anger towards me in her answer. I hope that this doesn't put a wedge between us that wasn't there before. I tried to choose my words carefully not pointing blame.But sometimes perception can be skewed.

Crap! I got a disturbing email answer. I'm about to lose my mind!

"Brett,In the 14+ years I have known you.I can only remember 2 times that you have picked up a bible and now you're quoting scripture.I think that its a good thing that you are closer to God. If that is how you have to deal with this.But hear me.I am very happy with my life now!
There are 4 things in a relationship that I have wished for ALL my life.
1.Friendship(likes the same music,cars,doing the same stuff together)
2.Security(knowing that the future is somewhat secure)
3.Sexual Desire
4.Intimacy(a soulful connection,something I never knew existed until now and therefore you and I have never experienced and something we both deserve,it being a God given gift)

I only had the first 2 with you,and now I have all 4 and more.I now am a MOM as well.Brett I don't know how to tell you this in a nice way,I just want you to let me go.I think that there are things that you need to figure out in your life,and figure out what you truly want in life. If that is living with God,then so be it.But I want this divorce,I think that we were only meant to be together for this time,and our time is up now.I am sure that God has a plan for you, and you just have to wait to see what it is. I don't know what else to say.
dar

Man, I just feel lower than worm dirt right now. I feel like my world just landed on on my head and my heart was just torn into bits.I just wanna scream!
help,hopefully someone reads this and can input something here.................................................

Brett-
I think you were right about the child thing. Now she is a MOM.
However her other points are fog talk. Now really, a secure future with this guy? Puleeez, give me a break.
So hang in there. I wouldn't agree to divorce. She needs more time to wake up out of the fog. So maybe you can disagree on some of the terms of divorce. You ask for the house, your pension, and let her pay part of the bills. You probably can drag it out.
Don't be hurt by what she says, they all say the same thing - the marriage was never any good, they have finally found intimacy, blah, blah, blah.

PS - Start a new post in general questions, I would like you to get more input from others, and that is the place more people post.

Yes, I spilled over to the gen quest. area with my situation.Thanks for your replies.It has and continues to be helpful.Especially when I feel like running my fist through the wall and banging my head on the concrete in frustration. Fortunately I know that it would hurt later so I don't.

what now? Thought I'd wake up feeling better and know what to do. But I don't.

Stick with the MB program. Sometimes it takes a long time.

My WH is back this morning wanting to work on marriage. He has been having an A for a year. Right now I could care less about working on the marriage. So there's the beauty of the MB plan. Either you get them back, and get a better marriage, or you recover enough that you are happy moving on. You can't lose.