Christ,
Thanks for the compliment, but I can't compare in any way with Him... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
(yes, I know it was a typo)

Are you saying that I should be in Plan B?
No, I'm asking why YOU think you should be in Plan B.

What exactly should I do?
I think you shoul dmake an appt with Jennifer or Steve Harley (see below)

I reread Just J's post, and got some idea. How do I tell the kids?

Do I call all the utility to get his nmae off, and change to my name?

How about the money? Stocks? If I have his name off, willall the money be mine? I don't understand. I can take his name of my credit card, that is not a problem. Should I get a lawyer? All these details are killing me. I need a concrete palning. I want to save my marriage.

I am already in Plan A. I am also talking to SH. He told me to talk to him in 2 weeks. He also told me that my time is running short.

L&H

How are you doing? I just thought I would peek in and say Hi. I see you are still running in the muck the same as I am. Well I am here for you write me anytime. Do you have an email address? I will email you if you do. Thanks.

lostnhurt -

There is no hurry to make a decision of what to do. Please wait until your meds kick in. Yes, your H is being very disrespectful. He prefers an adulteress to a virtuous wife. That is his problem.

I think he is trying to make you mad enough to file for a divorce. Then it won't be on him. Settle down and have a nice evening with your kids, and work on redoing your house. He is getting more and more bizarre. I think there are things going on that you know nothing about.

If you must tell your kids, tell them that daddy is having problems and has decided to start dating again. Also keep letting the OM know what is going on.

Believer, Ny,

I am doing ok now. Neliever is right, he is trying to make me mad so I can file for a D. But I won't fall in his trap.

D was ver sad and mad. I think that her dad is not here making her feel that. But she told me that she wants a dog. She need something to take her attention away. But I can't afford to have it. I mean physically and financially. W/o H's income, I can raise two kids and keep their level of living, but no extra. I am working on my full time job and having a side job. But the income from side job is very unstable. I was able to talk to her and calm her down. She thanked me for talking to her. But I don't know how long this will last.

I will talk to in laws tongiht about H's problem. I will enjoy myself.

Your H will be back and his old self. But it may take a couple of months. Mine was completely gone for four months - no contact, no money, nothing. Then out of the blue he started coming around again. Now he is always nice - however still has OW.

If daughter wants a pet, get her some fish. They are nice and relaxing to watch and don't take much care if you have an aquarium with a filter. If you get guppies, they will even have babies.

Reassure your kids that you have a plan and are working things out. They are taking their anger out on you because their dad is not safe - he might have even less to do with them. Hang in there. You have done well for so long, don't give up.

Believer,

Where do you get all your wisdom. I feel like a stupid headless chicken when I was in that bad feeling. Now all the suden, I feel so good. I am able to pull myself out the situation and look at thing at a different angle. You are so right. It is not him anymore. This is some alien living in his body.

D already has a hamster. It costed $7. But the cage, accessary, bedding, food, and treats(?) may cost more than $100. One day, she claim that this hamster is too fat and may have heart problem. She wants me to take it to the vet.

Get some fish. When they get sick, you just flush them down the toilet!

You are funny. That reminds me when S was 4 year old, he flushed a turtle to the toilet.

I am getting ready to talk to in-laws. I will pray before calling.

lostnhurt-

Just be sure not to expect them to take your side. My H's family (including the kids I raised) took his side. His sister took my side, until I took the dog back to him and tied it on his girlfriends car. This was after H promised to come and take care of dog, and never did.

His sister can forgive him having an affair for a year, but thinks that me taking the dog over there was unforgiveable.

The only one in the whole family that supports me is my sister-in-law. She has gone through the same thing, and has been great.

So please don't expect too much.

Thanks Believer. I think that I will just inform them and not asking for anything. I am in musch better feeling now.

I will not expect anything. Even they press him, it won't do any good.

Didn't have a chance to talk to in laws last night. H came home at about 11pm. I was so tired and felt asleep. This morning I prayed and thanked GOD for giving me a good night sleep. I talked to sister. I told him that H told me that I may not be able to go to vacation with her because he said he may be too busy. It is nonsence. I will tlka to him again.

This morning, I found a not D wrote to her dad in the kitchen. WELCOME HOME DADDY, WE MISS YOU. XXXOOO, FROM YOUR LOVING FAMILY. P.S. I AM LEAVING YOU WITH HUGS AND KISSES.

I was so moved and couldn't stop crying. She did see him for 2 days. SHe leaves about 7am, when H still sleeping. I wish I could do more for her.

Just talked to H again about my trip. He said he will take care of the kids and let me go. He said that will you take your parents with you? I don't know.

Then he sent S to school. Tha is his job. he does have some time with S every morning.

I've been sitting here for a while. Noe I finially get up and vacume the house. Then I will clean the bathroom. After that, I am going to relax in the whilepool. I will treat myself nicely.

Last night when I put S to bed, he asked me a question. He said: when I grow up become a dad and have my own children, should I spen a lot of time with them? I said, what do you think. He said, yes. But daddy is not spending much time with us. I know this whole thing hurts him so much.

Just tell son that when he grows up and is a father to be a good one. My boys were raised with no father, their's left when they were little.

I have always emphasized to them how important family is. They have grown in to fine young men. They are kind and considerate and always thinking of other people. Although it was sad for them, I hope their experience will make them better fathers and husbands.

How sad it is for boys with no father. Buy you are so strong, Believer. I can imagine how much you've been through.

Last night talking to sister, she said that my life has been too easy. When I looked back, I really feel that I was blessed. GOD may have his plan now to make me a tronger person.

I grew up as the oldest in the family. My grades were the best. Everyone looked up me including siblings and friends. I entered college at age 15, continue grad school. Then I had my first boyfriend. Coming to US made us seperated. But I got everything I could, full schorlaship, health insuarance etc. Found my H now. Then i got my first job without looking. had D. Tired of the first job, then look for the job now by sending only 3 letters. I always felt that I was so lucky, even though relationship with H is not the perfect, but I accepted. Now a full blown. It is a mess now.

But I will look up at GOD. Have faith on him. Just be myself again.

Atta girl. You have a lot to be grateful for. Also you H has found a good wife. He will not last long with the homewrecker. Hang in there. Take care of yourself and get that house decorated. I changed mine around so much that my H hardly recognized it.

<small>[ March 03, 2004, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: believer ]</small>

I will clean my car, then read about that book to see what I can do. My heart is aching.

Your heart needs to think about something else. Please get busy on house decorating.