Believer, It is nice to know you have a good day. My is boring. Morning, the kids not here, I did some house work. had a couple of friends visit. They came home at around 2pm. I took a nap. H is still sleeping, b/c he is out so often. But kids are boring, they don't want to do anything. I asked them to do things, they don't. So it is hard to deal with them. I hope they are happy. I am hanging here.

Lostnhurt -

Hang in there and keep doing things for yourself. You can't just sit around waiting for your H to wake up. When he does, he'll probably be out and about again.

How is your decorating project going?

Lostnhurt -

I just saw the pictures of your house. Throw away the decorating book. Your house is elegant and beautiful. There is nothing wrong with your house. There is something wrong with your WH.

Your pictures are on the MB picture thread on the last page. Also stop cleaning. It looks fine. You really need to stop accepting his blame. Go out and have some fun with some friends.

Believer,

H left 11pm last night for work.(I knew), He came back around 6:30am. Then he went to sleep leaving the cell phone in my room. I checked that there is a call he missed around 6:10am. This # looks very suspecious. So I used his phone to call back, it was a female. This prove my long time suspection. Another OW. this must be an indian women in his work. Some one mentioned to me before, he also mentioned it.

Then I checked the cell phone record, which just appeared in the web, the last call he made from his cell phone to the married W was 2/17. He called her 12am, and talked 38 min. I guessed after I confronted him, he stop going out with her. Then going out with this one now. I am hurt, but not as bad as before. Maybe the anti-D is working, maybe I am stronger. I need to treat myself well. I am going to go through this.

L&H

Your house is very nice, can I come live with you? LOL My WH left every room in our old farm house torn apart. In some rooms the insulation is showing around windows and stuff. He was really into renovating until OW came about. Now we are left with a total mess and no money to do anything with it. I have thought about buying the house, but now I am thinking about selling it and buying one that is one story and already finished. The thing is we dont owe that much on this house, and a new one will cost me so much more. Not really sure what to do. I wouldn't do anything with your house. It is very nice the way it is, and yes quit cleaning it looks great!

He may be seeing both of them. I don't know, but you are doing well. Your house is elegant, make it safe and warm for you and kids. Forget about H. He is out there right now. Just go on without him for awhile. Continue in Plan A, but get on with your life.

Believer and NY,

Thanks for your kind word. I mean my house is nice and clean, but he kept saying it is a mess. Now I don't care what he says. I will live in the way I like.

Today, when we left for church, he was still sleeping. Then we went to my parents after church. I want to visit them to fill out some paper. D has a project for interviewing senior. So we had dinner over there. Just came home. Of course, H is not here. We just went on without him. It still hurt, but less. I must be strong for my kids.

NY, if you are buying a house, you maybe able to get government loans. It is called FHA loan, check it out.

One thing made me feel a little bit down is that my parents even didn't notice any of my change. They didn't know that I lost so much weight. They didn't notice that I don't look too happy. I don't know when to tell them.

I would tell them as soon as possible. You need a strong support system for Plan B, for sure. That is JMO.

I would tell your parents. I told mine. They have been very supportive.

I had a great day today. My boys and their friends and I went fishing in the ocean. It was warm and we waded way out. In fact the boys went out past the breakers. I caught 2 fish, but threw them back.

I hope that you guys will go out and do things. At first I was going to stay home and work in yard, but decided to go and I'm glad I did. I know the weather there is probably not good, but spring and summer are coming.

My parents love me, they could be supportive too. But the problem is that they don't know how to be supportive. If they know that, they may be just cry. I have to think of how to comfort them.

Lostnhurt -

Did you read the Lighthouse post in general questions? That describes perfectly what you need to do now.

Yesterday I came home from fishing with boys and walked into my house (which was clean and welcoming - nothing like yours, though), and smelled the baked chicken cooking. I thought about how nice it is now, and how much WH must miss it. He is living in a rented bedroom. But that is what he chose to do.

So I will continue enjoying my home and my life. I wish that he would join me, but that has to be his decision. I will be okay either way.

You must just keep on keeping on. Take care of you and kids until he joins you again.

Believer, Thanks. I will be strong. I feel that I am stronger already. I will keep praying for more strength.

I still didn't have a chance to talk to in law yet, because he came home at 9:30pm last night. This morning, we had a little talk about D. But he was not concerned about her mood.

Finanally, talked to in laws. As beleiver said, they are not very supportive. They just said that we don't know what exactly happened, they will ask him what is going on. I told them that I just inform them the situation, I don't want to divorce. I am willing to work things out. They start lecturing me that you better think about what you've done to make him behave like that. Blah, blah. I thank them for lecturing me.

l&H

Don't feel too bad about it. Blood is thicker than water after all. I never expected more than that out of them. My MIL was pretty much the same way. The night I found out I called and I was crying and she cried with me and said what was he thinking. What about that little boy. And I told her I kicked him out. She called him on his cell phone and he told her he was at a friends house. He was at OW house actually. Since then I haven't gotten one phone call from them to ask how me and the kids are or anything. Even though she said I would still remain in her heart and we would do lunch and so on. She said although she doesn't condone what he has done, she loves him and she has to support his decisions in life. And that this must be what he wants. EWwwwww. Puke, gag, hurl. You know? If my son did this I would kick his [censored] up over his shoulders about a dozen times and make him go to therapy of some kind. Because I know I am going to raise my son to have respect and consideration for other people, including his significant other and when I am on my death bed, I will reinforce it once again. I never want my son to make anyone feel the pain I have felt at this time ever.

NY, I can see you getting stronger. I envy you. I never expect them to be on my side. But i just think that it is necessary to inform them the situation. If they can, they should talk to them to find out the story from his side. That is about it.

If my son would do this to his wife, I will do the same thing as you do. Now just take care of oue own problem. I am so tired of this whole thing. I feel sick any time.

Yes I can tell you are tired and worn out. That is how I got at the end. Tired and mentally exhausted. I actually hated him at the end. Plan B is working for me and I'm sticking to it. NC has been the best for me so far. You really got to wonder what WH is thinking though you know? Oh well, who cares right? He did this to himself. He came back and I tried and he still wanted OW, so now he can have her. Let her take care of him for a while. I needed a break anyway. LOL. Take care of you!

NY

Well, we're all in this together. I have had lots of support from my family, none from his. It is kind of sad, because I have always been very good to them. Too good, I think. But it is their loss.

I feel fortunate to have many support. GOD, my sister, cousin, friend, and you two, and many many supporter here in MB. I will hang in here and be strong.

<small>[ March 10, 2004, 07:07 PM: Message edited by: chris37 ]</small>