How did the session go with SH? Your WH is a good man and will be one again. You just have to hang in there and wait.

I have gone through so many changes, it is unbelievable. I had fits at first, then was numb, then angry, then wanted revenge, now I want him to have a good life. I think this is what we go through.

However, the pain for me is gone. I know you will get to that point too. You have to take care of yourself. Then you will be stronger to face all of this.

I know you are smart, a good mom and wife, chaste, calm, and caring. The OW has betrayed her husband, is deceitful, not a good mom, and selfish.

Give it some time, and your husband will choose you.

Believer,

It is funny that you say numb. I guess that is where I am. I threw fits and cried and all of that. Now I am numb! What comes next? I hope nothing. Just fun and life now....please don't tell me more bad news after numb. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I kind of like it here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

NY

Well, after numb comes you are done with WS. But that does not last too long, then you love them again.

H was home last noight, so I didn't get a chance to post. I was so tired too, I went to bed at about 10pm after putting kids to bed.

I asked H how the session went with SH and how he thought about him. He said SH is a nice men, but no comment on the session. I said do you feel better after talking to him? He said is about the same. He asked me whether Sh called me. I told him that we only talked for 5 min because I had to go to class. Then just casual talks about my business. He said I should be more agressive to get clients. This year so far I only had one, and I am getting another one tonight. But it was very different last year.

I aksed him whether he wanted to watch a movie with me at home. He said no because he didn't like what I had. Then I asked him about the Passion of Christ. He said it is very violent, you don't want to watch it. he told me that he went alone and there were only 3 people in the theater that night. I gave him a gentle hug and said goodnight to him.

Then sis called. I didn't talk long with her. We talked about going to cruise, we both are excited.

Last night my sleep was bad, kept waking up. I was awake since 3am. But I was so tired. I also had stomack ache and diahrea again.

This morning, after sending D to school, I had to lie down a little bit. Then I got S up, H saw me(he slept in the guest room) and asked me how I feel for my stomach. I told him that I had diahres again. I think that I should have thanked him for asking. I should have this habit. Then when he came downstairs. he put too much lotion on his hand, I ask him to give to me. So he runb my hands and legs, it felt soooooo good. He didn't touch me for a long time. How I wish we are intimate again. We talked a little bit about my busines partner. I told him that we didn't contact for a while becasue he might not want to do business with me. He said that you should send an e-mail to thank him for everything, be diplomatic. I agreed. I think that he is so good on these things. That is the man I love. He then sent S to school.

Just a while ago, he called and told me that he forgot his cell phone. I fI need to contact him, i can call his desk. Thenhe told me that it may be time to change oil for my car. Where am I heading now?

L&H

I am right there with you. Confused as ever. I think I am done and over WH and then something happens to make me rethink it. This morning the pump in the basement broke, I called his cell and left a message. He called me back from his brothers house and talked me through fixing it. Something that he does usually. If it doesn't get fixed water will fill the basement. Anyway he is going to purchase a new one and put it in tomorrow for us. I am so stupid, I was rude to him because it was frustrating to have this happen with the kids here and all. They were screaming down the basement doorway and all. There are spiders down there <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> that even SS wouldn't attempt to kill......... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Well I fixed it for now and we said good bye and hung up. Then I spoke with my mother and I said I was short with him and I never said thank you.

I rang him back at his brothers house and I said thank you for helping me with the pump, he said your welcome. I said I got so frustrated that I never said thank you and I am sorry. He said I know how it happens, don't worry about it. Then I dont' know why or how it just came out of my mouth........I said by the time you get your **** together and come home I won't need you anymore. He said I don't know there is an awful lot to remember. That was all he said. I couldn't believe I said that. I dont' know where it came from. GOD must have put those words in my mouth. I just don't have a clue. Anyway we talked about son being sick still and finally on antibiotics, then he said see you tomorrow and hung up. Well so much for Plan B, he is planning on me being here again tomorrow when he comes to fix the pump. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> .

NY

LNH,

Just checking in to see what the latest is. I'm hoping that if you're not posting tonight, maybe this means your H is home with you.

Hope everything is okay.

My WH didn't break contact with OW yet. He still doesn't know what he wants and is now thinking that once the month ends and he has to move from his apartment, he'll move into our travel trailer that is being stored at mutual friends' place (they live on an acreage in the country.) That wasn't what I wanted to hear.

He won't commit to anything right now, and is very proud of himself for not getting emotional (he was at my house briefly tonight to work on DS's car). I did get a little teary-eyed a few times, but hopefully not enough to really upset him. On the other hand, he did hold me briefly, and kissed me good-bye and when I told him I love him, he told me he loves me, too.

The hugs were nice--it's been a while. But they leave me wanting more, which may never happen.

Hope things are going better than that for you.

By the way, how is your DD doing? Is she taking meds yet, or still not wanting to? My DD is actually taking hers, though I think the Strattera for her ADHD is upsetting her stomach. She's been difficult to get to school the last couple days because she doesn't feel well. Hope it passes soon.

And finally, how are YOU feeling. Are you eating healthy yet? I saw on another post that you have lost more weight than you should. I've only lost about 15 pounds which is minor compared to some people, but I've worked HARD to try and keep it at that and no more. I started out underweight, so I'm really thin now. If I lost another 10 pounds, I'd probably be in the hospital. Don't let yourself get too think or too run down.


LL

Hi, friends, miss you. Ny and LL, thank you for thinking of me and your concern too. I had a long day and night yesterday. Here it is.

T noon, I met someone to talk about potential cooporation of business. It went well. The meeting lasted for 2 hours. After that I went to buy some Chinese crocery, b/c H said that there was not much in the ref. When I came home, I quickly prepared dinner and S came home. I hleped him to do his hwk. Then we went outside for little walk, it was nice. D didn't come home, she went to her friends B-day party. I felt more peaceful without her being home. But I also felt guilty for having this feeling.

In the evening, I was supposed to meet my mortgae client at 7pm. It would take me 30 min. to get there. H came home at arounf 6;15. He said that you don't hve to go now. So we ate a quick dinner(they were ready). I left before H and S finished. By the time client signed up all the paper and gave me all the docments, it was about 8:30pm. Then I drove to the company on the opposite direction to hand in the case to process. By the time everything is settled, I came home at about 10pm. I was extremly tired and hungry too. I put the kids to bed and clean up all the dishes, packed everyone's lunch for next day. It was almost 11pm. Then I had few minute to talk to H. We just briefly talked about my business. I thanked him to take care of the kids. He said it is ok. He said that I should be more aggressive and open the market. He said that you only have couple clients this year, look how many you have last year. I agreed on him. Then I hug him and said good night.

I was so tired, but I still could not sleep well. I was thinking to take half pill of Xenax, but I was too tired to get it. But at 3am, I woke up with sharp stomach ache. After a while, I went to H and told him. He said that you can sleep here(I felt like little kids going to parents bed at night), I can rub you tommy. He hold me and rub my tommy. At first I felt a little better, he felt asleep. Then the pain came back, I tossed and turned. He asked whether should send me to the dr. I said I will wait a while and see what happen. I drank alrge amount of hot water, finally the pain came down. During that i almost threw up. Then I started having diahhrea. I finally could fall in aleep till 5:30am. But I had too keep getting up to use the bathroom b/c I drank so much water.

H told me to stay in baed and got up to send D to school. Then he came back to take S. Finally at 8:00am, I got a call. It was the referral of yesterday's client. She asked for mortgage too. I had to wake up and talk to her. But I really feel dizzy. Then in the kitchen. H and I talked a little about this business again. I asked him what we are going to do this weekend because the kids will be off from Friday and next week is their Spring break. We both are off too. I have to go back to work Monday, but he is still off Monday. He said he has no idea. I suggest to go to Toronto which we used to go so often, my brother is there and my mom is there too now. He didn't say yes or no. Then he left sending S to school. In the car he called me and said you should take your van to change the oil before we are going to Toronto. So i assume that is a yes?

I finally got myself up and went to work. I talked to Sh this morning. He told me that I made progress by all these positive signs. Just keep doing what I am doing. Hang in till the MB weekend. Then I can talk to him again. He told me that I have to be patient, can not expect too much at one time. I asked him about the 3 month for women and 6 month for men in Plan A. He said it is just a guide line, and average time. It really depends on each individual. I am encouraged.

hang in there and hope you are feeling better.

LNH,

It sounds like progress to me. At least he's open to the idea of getting away for a while.

I'm more concerned right now about your stomach problems. I really do think you should see a Dr. Maybe, like someone said, it's irritable bowel syndrome (and if so, the Dr. could give you some meds maybe or a special diet?), or could be just related to all your anxiety, but either way, you've been sick a lot recently. You just need to make sure you're doing everything you can to keep yourself healthy. You need your strength right now.

LL

Check with you doctor. It could be a side effect of the anti-D, but you need to get yourself checked out. Please make an appointment.

Thank you my friends. I will definitely make appointment to see Dr.

I will be going to have oild change now. S has half day today, I have to be back by noon.

Yesterday, H came home and cooked dinner. He is a good cook. He cooked samon, chicken brocklies, and beef. By the time dinner was ready, D refuse to come. H got mad. But I think that he control it. Finally after we are finished, D came. She said she had to finish her project.

H started lecturing on her. He said that he made the effort to be with the family, he expected the whole family to be on the dinner table. D said you were not here a lot. He told her to try the samon, she said I don't want to. He said you just try it, you don't have to try it, but if you don't try it then give it up, you would lose a lot. She said I just don't like it ok? He said that you have to open your mind. There are many things in this world, and many solutions to a problem, if you don't explore it and made a decision, you are not going to get the best of it. The whole conversation on dinner table lasted about 30 minutes, it is about the same thing. Does it sound familiar? I hope he gets it and apply to himself and D. Then he took them to the library. He told me to go to bed early and get good rest.

He is still distant to me. I am just praying GOD give me more patience and strangth, I prayed for roughroad for today's seesion with SH and her H will talk to SH too. I prayed for all my mb friends. I still don't want to put too much hope in it. But keep my faith in GOD.

Sounds to me like he is making some effort. Just stay the course, and fly by the instrument panel. You are continuing to do well in Plan A.

Just the thought that he is talking to your D like that is hopeful. He must be thinking about things.

Is there anything that D likes to do? I am worried about her too. Would she like to have friends over for a sleep over?

hey lost, thanks for the prayers, we will see how it goes will try to talk to H later today. have you made a dr. appt yet? the fact that he is saying or trying to apply what you've been telling him IMO sounds like he has really woken up and honestly trying to work on the M. continued prayers to you.

Thank you for your encouragment. It seemed that he is a little bit open. We are going to TOronto for the weekend. I am going to book the ticket to see Mamamia. H said to take D with us, but I just want to go with him. D has a good friend in Totonto, she is my sil's niece, about the same age. My nephews are 8 and 5, so S can play with them. THey are really looking forward to the weekend. Every summer, I took the children and stayed there for two weeks or more. Myabe we will do that this summer, just to see how things go.

D likes to have friends over and go to her friends. BUt I told her she has to finished her homework and playing her violin and piano before she can do that. She usually got mad with me by telling her so, but I stick to my ground. I leran to not LB to her either, just to stay firm with the rules.

This morning, after oil change, I went shopping a little bit. I ended up buying most of stuff for H. I have to go at least one more time to buy some clothes for the cruise.

Can any of you give me some idea what to buy for in laws when we visit them while going MB weekend. ANy suggestion is appreciated.

Now S and I are going to bike riding.

RR, how is your session wiht SH. I will keep praying for you.

Believer, how are things going with you? I hope you have a nice weekend. I have a new receipe for you, you can try it during the weekend. It is a healthy food.

Shrimp(chicken or whatever meat) tofu.

Shrimp ( chicken, or pork, or beef): 6 oz.

shrimp need to be preeled(if you go to Sam's club or costco, you can buy the peeled raw shrimp in good price)


If you use meat, cut the meat in little 1/2" cubes

Marinate material:

Corn starch 2 tab. spoon
salt 2 tea spoon
sugar: 1 tea spoon
soy sauce(the best kind can be found in Chienese grocery, ask for superior light soy sauce, Pearl River Bridge Brand): 3 tab. spoon. can be more if you like.
Cooking wine(can be any kind of wine too): 2 tab spoon
Hot sauce(optional, get it from Chinese grocery, ask for the not sour kind)


Tofu(soft): a pack

Green peas(optional): a cup
Green onion(optional): 1 stalk shopped


Mix the shrimp or meat with marinate materials, let stand for 10 minutes or longer.

Cut tofu into 1" cubes, drain water.


Heat pan in med to high heat, add 2 tab spoon cooking oil, put in shrimp( or meat), stir for 5 min until cooked, then put in tofu, cover with lid for 10 min. add green peas or green onion for 2 min., sprinkle with sesame oil if you like.

Enjoy it.

sounds like you are feeling better and i'm excited to hear how your trip to toronto goes/went. you'll have to read about how my session went this morning on the GQII forum. it was a good session of course and my H had agreed to talk w/SH on monday. i'm trying not to get my hopes up but it's hard not to. just continue to pray for him and that he will go through with it. i have to go, prayers to you as well.

Things are going well with me. If I could just get rid of that pesky OW. H came to my work today to give me his retirement papers to send in. I sent them right away.

So he will be retiring on the 30th of this month. This has really been a surprise. He had turned down the offer until I called and told him I was not going to divorce him, and wanted him to have a nice life. He really sees the changes in me, and has trusted me on this.

He kept hugging me in the parking lot. It was very strange.

Lostnhurt - Thanks for the recipe. I wrote it down and will cook it.

Believer, I am so happy for you.

But we have to keep in mind that WS always do strange things until they totally come out of fog.

Now it is almost 9pm. H didn't come home and didn't call either. I called him to see whether he come home for dinner, he didn't answer either. It didn't surprise me. Kids are used to that too. They are used to only one parent is home, that is not good. I wonder how we are going to go tomorrow. If he didn't get enough sleep, the driving will be dangerous. But I learn to not let things hurt me so much. I guess that is a way to protect myself.

Good - don't think about what he is up to. Also I would ease up on daughter. It is good to have requirements, but not so strict that she has to get straight A's to get a dog, or have her friends over.

I hope you have a great weekend. Try to put the problems on the back burner, and have some fun together.

Believer, than you.

I am very very tired now. I will go to bed and have a good rest. I hope you have a great weekend.

LNH,

I copied down the recipe, too. It looks good! Thanks.

Have a good weekend in Toronto. I pray things will go well for you, and that you'll feel better physically, too.


Believer,

See...maybe Lordslady's Plan B isn't so bad?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Kidding...I didn't do it right, and I'm probaby going to still have to do a real one, because my WH just can't let go of sleazy OW. He's being friendlier with me, but I know she's still very much in the picture, too.

But it sounds like things are going better with you and yours. Keep hope!

LL

<small>[ April 08, 2004, 10:06 PM: Message edited by: lordslady ]</small>