Eh, believer, you know I woke up today, thought about the meeting and boy, FEAR dawned on me. Fear of what he's gonna tell me, more lies uncovered etc. Eh, I didn't want to see him. I need my sanity right now.

But we did speak. And yes, he gave me some lame reason for lying about his finances. I LBed a little and said, so you needed to take one and a half day off work to think about what you told me? Couldn't you have told me when I asked you about it? Anyways. It don't matter to me as I don't know whether he's lying again or not.

I haven't had much problems in Plan B. For a minute on Thursday, I miss him and needed some affection from him. I know what triggered it. Brushed it off. He claims he's no longer with OW, but he hasn't made genuine and heartfelt efforts to rebuild this relationship. When I try to guide him, he acts like a baby. It makes drives me nuts. I hate being his mother.

So yes, I am in Plan B and will make sure I work on myself when I'm here. I am reading more for my personal understanding and growth in this broken relationship, prettying myself up and trying to do my projects a little better at the office. Mom is very supportive, I go home for dinner quite frequently. My friends are kinda busy these days, so I'm gonna spend sometime at the library, the movies or the beauty parlour. O I have never been this vain in my life, but it feels darn good to look at myself in the mirror!! YES!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Ps. Thanks for the tip on getting old posts. R

Take good care of yourself and get some interests and activities going. I have been very busy, exercising, painting, organizing, doing the yard, etc. I have also leaned heavily on neighbors, friends, and people at work, letting them know I need to get out and do things.

And buy a full length pillow to sleep with. You can snuggle up to it at night, and it doesn't snore, or hog all of the covers.

Yes, I think I'll do that!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Thanks. R

Well I'm still in my half-baked Plan B. Ho-hum. How's everyone else doing?

Believer,

What did you decide on D and retirement thing? I am doing good here. Thanks for asking.

HINY

I'm still thinking about it. I am not going to discuss it anymore with WH. We already discussed it out, and he proved that he is still lying and untrustworthy, so I see no point in seeing him or talking to him.

Other than that, it is a good day, finally Friday.

Good for you. You stick to your guns and take care of you.

NY

Hi everyone. I went to a party at a neighbors house last night and had a great time. How's everyone else doing?

Someone here was looking for a sample of Plan B letter:...here is mine...

WS you must understand that this past year has been very difficult for
me...at this stage of my life I had hopes of growing old with you and
enjoying our beautiful grandchildren..taking them to Florida with
us...watching them develop into beautiful young women....I had them out
yesterday and my heart aches when they walk in this house and ask where grandfather
is....when I said my marriage vows I made a commitment to love you for
better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, forsaking all
others till death do us part...I took those vows seriously..a commitment is
a commitment...I recognise that our marriage was not perfect and accept any
responsibilty in my part that caused you to have an affair...you must
realize this has pained me deeply...going through this has been worse than
loosing my father...yes much worse than a death as with a death you know
there is finality and can hold dear the wonderful memories of the departed
loved one...this pain I have now will be ongoing for me for quite some
time..I had hopes that you were sincere in trying to reconcile but realize
you are still in a fog and need to sincerely face all the issues that
brought us to this point..my hope for you is that someday you do ...please
look in the mirror and ask yourself ...am I happy with this outcome.....I
personally am working on my issues...while you are continuing an
extramarital affair you are disrepecting me as your wife and your
family...would I have forgiven you all that I know...yes...but see you were
not willing to do what was necessary to rebuild our marriage...I have come
to the conclusion that this saying is true..."If you love someone set them
free and if they were truly yours they will return"...that is what I am
doing now WS...I will try to hold on to the memories of our thirty years
together...the fun trips with Neil and Janice...our family dinners with
Larry, Linda and our family ...we did have a wonderful family unit...you
must know that because of the pain I am suffering now I have to request no
contact from you...we cannot be friends ever as long as you are continuing
to hurt me by having an affair while we are still married...no contact will
enable me to get back on my feet and move on...I do wish you well...I know
someday you will get to the point where you realize the mistake you made by
throwing our lives together away and hope at that time you can live with
yourself...I will move forward and try to put the pieces of my life back
together...All the Best WS....BS...

I have several girlfriends that are in my situation...seems like affairs are an epidemic in the city where I live <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ..one of my friend's son had the lead Billy Flinn in the play "Chicago" last night so it was a proud moment for her to watch her son onstage at our local Playhouse...her son is very talented and has recieved a schalorship (sp)...to attend theater school in Manhattan...we had a lovely night last night and were able for a short time to get away from our problems...BUT the theme of most of Chicago was adultry and women getting even by doing away with them...I can cetainly understand the case in Texas where the wife ran over her WS sometimes <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ April 17, 2004, 01:17 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

Well sounds like you had a nice night. I went to a neighbors party and danced and got drunk. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> We ate mexican food and I talked in Spanish (I think) to everyone. Then came the beer and finally tequila, which did me in. Last I knew I was trying to marry off my two sons.

But it was nice to get out and get crazy for a change.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Sounds like fun Believer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> too bad we all are so far away...sounds like we could have quite an adventure together <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I have finally got my sense of humor back and can laugh...never thought I would get to that place again..I wonder how long I will wait for WS to come around...anyone else have a time limit?...

I think I can wait a long time. I'm just enjoying my life and not thinking about WH too much. Everyday I try to do something productive, or fun.

It seems like it has been months and months of no changes, but I know that I have changed completely. We need to realize that WS is NOT the whole world.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I think I can wait a long time. I'm just enjoying my life and not thinking about WH too much. Everyday I try to do something productive, or fun.

It seems like it has been months and months of no changes, but I know that I have changed completely. We need to realize that WS is NOT the whole world. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You got that right sista <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ..my scenario is that I need money and we have not even filed a legal separation...the bank accounts have been drained by him so we are living off investments...made an aggreement to removed 18,000 for 6 months to pay household expenses..@ depositing 3k per month...everything else we have we own so there is only the monthly bills but am still just existing here...I am reluctant to file for legal separation as WS is retired and claims he has no money so alimony is a big issue here for me as I was a SAHM for 30 years...I have to come to a decison soon to file and get some money to live...

<small>[ April 17, 2004, 02:41 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>