LORDSLADY

DITTO ON YOUR REPLY. THOSE ARE ALL MY REASON TOO.

WHAT'S THE STATISITICS ON WS COMING OUT OF FOG BACK TO US?

I have been asking myself the same questions the past few days.

If I am being honest, our marriage has never been good, and I have very few good memories to look back on in 18 years.

Even so, I have been willing to hang in there, because I care about him, 'agape' him primarily. I made a promise. Also I believe that God joined us together and that He would not have me give up on him. Whether or not we are married/live together, I still want him to be healed and to know what it is to be loved.

He has been drawing closer to me the past few weeks, although we haven't talked about things openly yet. He is talking as if we are going to pick up where we left off, but I don't know how I can be with him never knowing if he is lying, as he did for so long ,constantly wondering if he is with someone else, keeping secrets...

I love him , but how can it be a healthy marriage or even a friendship if there is no trust? And I don't know what to do to regain the trust- or what I would need from him for him to earn my trust.

I can't even talk to him about this, things are so precarious that I don't want to risk it. But how is that helping? At some point we need to clear the air before we go much further, I think.

Up to now I have just waited and prayed for him to some to his senses, and showed him love. I don't want to go back to the way things were, and this is moving too fast.

Shul

APPLY THE BRAKES FIRMLY...ON YOUR EMOTIONS.

You've been doing a great Plan A, and you're starting to see some response.

Take it from me...I've been RIGHT where you are...and not very long ago. It FREAKS you out...because you've spent a lot of time diminishing any hope your WS would return...much less let you meet EN.

Play this by ear....you don't have to clear ANYTHING right away. What I learned is that when my FWH first started to come out of the FOG.... I was tested.... I could have rifled him with anything I wanted..he was vulnerable to anything I would have said or done.

However...remember Plan A is about being the most attractive spouse you can be. No Love Busters. Listen, watch, keep your guard up...but ride the wave...it's SO easy to let them crash over you...learn to ride them...your time will come.

Thankyou, yes, you are quite right. Things are going well, I need to continue to be patient, and not rush this.

There will come a time when we are stronger that we can talk about it.

Today I am really struggling with why I should wait. He has always been selfish it just seems to keep growing instead of him growing up.

My reasons

1. I have always believed we were good for each other, different enough to compliment one another and enough in common to enjoy each others company.

2. We have 2 soon to be 3 beautiful children together. I like others want to be able to tell them I gave everything I had to make our marriage work

3. He is a great kisser and we had SF.

4. While we were dating I broke up twice and he waited for me.

Jenn