Well, Bozo and I are doing pretty good now.<BR>We are into our 16th month since duscovery. The other people haven't been heard from since we sent the no contact letter to them.<P>We are trying to do things together more often, and have made some new friends, ( who I am holding at arms length, for obveious reasons)<P>I am learning to just tell him when I'm afraid or down or just pmsing. That makes a diffrence. <P>Waiting until it builds up and exploding was not a good thing.<P>Life with a clown can be good. <P>Only one problem has poped up, I had my first waking vision of Bozo with ow yesterday. I've seen it in nightmares before, but this was the first time it popped up when I was awake. I wasn't even thinking of that, I was thinking of Bozo and I together, and boom there it was.<P>y'all will be real proud of me, I didn't yell, scream or lash out at him, I waited till I was calmer and told him about it.<P>I explained that I'm still afraid of him doing it again, but that I hoped this would all be over soon, I am trying, he is trying (somedays he's very trying, but hey what do you want from a clown ?)<P>So thats my update. How are y'all doing, wheres SHA? Butterfly and some of the others ? <P> <P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Deb -- That's great news!!! Communication is the hardest thing to master in a relationship, but you are making great strides. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Life with a clown can be good<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Love that line!!!<P>How did he react when you told him about the vision? I've experienced that same thing(the vision) and it just wrenches the soul for a bit. Hard to take and the aftereffects don't fade quickly.<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>somedays he's very trying, but hey what do you want from a clown<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Good pairing, a clown and a comedienne.<P>You're doing great!!! <P>--DeWayne--

Hi Deb,<P>It looks like you are doing great! I think it is important to keep communicating! I hope that my husband and I can keep doing that! I hope that we can eventually have a conversation and not have the ow pop up in it! That would be a relief for me!<P>I wish you and Bozo the best of luck in the future!<P>~Woozy

Heartpain,<P>He said he was sorry, there really wasn't much else he could say.<P><BR>Woozy,<P>It takes time. First start with you, write down everything you want to know about the affair, ask him every thing you want to know<BR>once, and try your best not to mention her ever again.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Deb,<P>Good to hear from you again and I'm glad things are going so well for you!<P>Bob<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger<P>

Hello Beautiful Spirit!!!!<P>I have missed you soooooo much!!!<P>It's wonderful to hear the vitality and life shining through these words!!<P>I have tears of joy that you and Mike have finally broken out of that awful cycle you were stuck in!!!! YAY!!!!<P>Those YUCK moments will come occasionally and you are dealing with them in such a constructive manner...I am so proud of you!!! ATTAGIRL!!<P>You have touched a place in my heart since I have been here and I think of you often......come around more just to say hi - would ya? OH - and bring our absolute favorite clown with you of course!!!! (Hi Mike!!!!!)<P>I'm still in my mess with the Whackadoodle........handling things pretty well, I think! At least I am not bored...... LOL!!!!<P>SHA took a break for a while, I am not sure about the others. He wasn't in a good place....tired and frustrated!! If you have his EMail...send him a howdy if you have the time. I'm sure it would lift his spirit to see how yours is flying high and happy!!!<P>BIG HUGS and Love Ya,<P>Sheba

Bozos_ Deb -- This really is good news. I've been wondering how you guys were doing.<P>Congratulations.<P>God Bless

Hey Deb,<P>I am so happy for you. I have been thinking about how you were doing. Congradulations.<P>

Good for you guys! It's so good to hear from you. You have never failed to keep my spirits up. Keep it up! <P>Lori

Hello to the clown companion, Mrs. Bozo!!!<P>We haven't heard from you in so long! How is our prayer partner, Auntie Pooh? Have you been down to the women's bible study forum lately?<P>I can understand your "arms length approach"... Probably got a little wisdom with all your experience.<P>How is your health, and how did your Christmas crafts come along? I sewed and sewed and sewed - made some really nice gifts I wasn't ashamed to give. <P>Miss you Deb.<BR>tnt<BR>(you have my address, please keep it... mncon99@yahoo.com )<BR>

You guys make me feel so special !<P>RWD, <P>I know things are hard right now. Yet you keep on keeping on. Thumbs up dude. <P>Sheba,<P>Ahh, the voice of paitence herself, I've been lurking, I told ya'll I would. How you have managed not to brain the Whack-A-Doodle is beyond me. <P>I hope one day he see's your true worth my friend, and if he doesn't well we can always <BR>get the frying pan, but we'll wait till you're ready for that.<P>Empty shell, <P>so how is it going on your end? Well I hope.<P>Pahakissa,<P>I love hearing from you, how goes the battle on your end ?<P>Lori,<P>Hon, you make me smile, a lot. <P>I will be around a bit more now, it's just that it broke my heart seeing more and more people going through this same pain we have all had so much of. But now that I am doing a bit better myself, maybe I can help someone else. <P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

TnT,<P>I hope you see this tonight, Auntie Poohs h is having surgery on his back tomorrow afternoon at 12:30 pm central. Please pray for him and for Auntie Pooh.<P>It seems like everything is falling apart for them, money problems, health issues. <P>So please pray.<P>I am no longer on the interferon shots, now it's just wait and see. So I'm waiting and trusting God.<P>I wound up making flavored hot chocolate mixes for christmas. none of the other stuff came out right, oh well I'll learn.<P>I have gone to 1 email now <P>dkohb@yahoo.com<P>I have been lurking TnT, and there have been a few times I was really worried about you, but knew if I said anything it would be something bad about your h, you don't need that from me. So I bit my fingers, but I can tell you the pillows I have punched don't like your h AT ALL. I saw where things are a bit better I pray they stay better and improve even more.<P>I'll tell Bozo hi.<P>I love you guys .<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Deb,<P>At least you are honest! I think my sister feels the same way. <P>I will update my most recent post. I can understand the reasoning behind your feelings about my husband. I'm still hanging in there.<P>Today the conversation went something like... I want to stay married, but... (That was my husband's line.) <P>I kept telling him that it is the "but's" that are my most crucial concerns. I said, marriage isn't supposed to have ANY but's. For richer, poorer,...... <P>No lovebusting on my part, but honestly stating my viewpoint. Lots of new habits and behaviors to learn, and taking authority over unGodly thoughts. Anything that doesn't bring goodness or glory to the Lord, isn't what I need to be thinking. <P>Oh, well - I could talk forever. I guess I need to find that post and update!<P>I just knew you were lurking, when you suddenly appeared after my post about receiving the books from the pastor.... You can't fool me!<P>tnt

TnT,<P>Sorry, it's just that I have real issues about men puttting thier hands on women in an abusive manner.<P>I watched that when I was young, since I have been grown, I have been known to offer to fight men who tried to pull that around me.<P>They never would take me up on it tho, oh well.<P>I know you love him and Iwill keep praying for him,for you and this whole situation.<P>Sometimes it is better for me not to say anything tho, you don't need my ranting on top of what you are already facing.<P>The clown said I should say hi to everyone.<BR>So Hi to everyone.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hi Deb,<BR>I've missed you. I'm glad things are going well for you and Mike. <P>I've been down, but you can read my post today. Don't want to stink up your thread.<P>Write to me when you get a chance.... you have my emails.<P>BIG HUGS & lots of Prayers,<BR>Butterfly<BR>(aka Dawnetta) <P><P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Hi Deb...<P>I've wondered where you were. A few months ago, I sent you a couple of e-mails but hadn't heard from you. Maybe I sent it to that other e-mail address of yours. Then, I noticed you weren't posting anymore, but you're back!<P>Thanks for your support. Can't believe it's been almost a year already. I'm happy to hear that things are going well for you too. Babysteps...babysteps...babysteps....<P>That's cool that you've started stamping. I'm sure your card will be beautiful! My kids have that name banner that you sent them, sitting on their desks. It helps them learn how to spell their names.<P>I'm glad to hear from you (when you replied to my Post). Glad you have a new craft going on. Let me know if you want me to send you more cards.....Hugs!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited January 07, 2000).]

Oh hi deb!! A reunion posting we have going here!!<BR>Glad to hear you are off the inteferon. Did you do the year course? How are the lab tests? I hope they are beautiful!!! Taking iron? <BR>Thanks for the update, and give bozo a big hug for me. He is a great guy, and lucky to have such a great wife. <BR>Me...well we were doing great til a few days ago. H is overseas again, we are planning for the future career change, which has been very tough. A few days ago he sent an e-mail that upset me, so i told him it had hurt my feelings, the pain i that area was still too raw. That in turn ticked him off and have received nastygrams from him ever since. He has a hard time hearing that I have any painful areas. Yeah-he still wants me to just get over it. It is an internal struggle because there is a man that shows me such care and compassion everyday. Just a tough couple days as I wonder why the heck I put up with the h and his crappy behavior, when someone else loves me. No dear, I will stay the course I am on-I am okay-true blue and very tough-just being introspective. <BR>I made the committment, finally climbed off the fence, and I will stick to it.<BR>Nice to hear from you, have missed your great parties.

OK Butterfly, NoTrust and cl, <P>Here is the plan, we all meet at point x, then we decide who needs a frying pan upside the head first.<BR>I vote either cl's H or Butterfly's, NoTrust"s and the clown can be put on hold , but not for long !<P>Then we go out as a group and sneak up on them one by one and whack em a good one.<P>Mike is using ICQ now, he wonders why this should bother me, I concider both the women he talks too and one I trust beyond a doubt,<BR>she is a MB former poster, I have no worries about her. The other I don't know as well but trust somewhat. I DON'T TRUST MIKE , period I guess I've been burnt too ofteen.<P>So thats my idea, thoughts anyone, or new sign ups for the Hi honey I just came by to whack you in the head club ?<P>NoTrust , <P>We'll include your h for what he may do later on , hey think of it as prevenitive maintence<P>I also vote we pay a certian poster's Whack-A-Doodle a little visit.<P>And maybe just for verity fry us up a poptart with some bacon for a friend of ours, what do ya say ?<BR><P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hi Deb - Great to hear from you again, and that you and B. the C. seem to be making some real progress. Success stories are always a bit rare around here, as you know, but they always give the rest of us hope and, of late, there have been several that sound hopeful (lostva, professorg). (Even my marriage seems to be picking up again, coming back from the brink of disaster after hitting rock bottom. I remember and remain grateful for all the suggestions you gave me about how to get my marriage back on track. Just maybe it's starting to move in that direction.) Maybe it's the new year. Like Sheba says, SHA is gone for a while. We miss him just like we've missed you. There are a LOT of new posters, as you can probably see. (Same old problems, it seems like, though). Anyway, welcome back, happy new year, happy new century, happy new millenium! Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

Wex,<P>I am glad things are better for you. <P>I missed you guys too, though I have been around watching from the shadows alot so to speak.<P>I know there are lots of new folks here, I wish they didn't have to be, but am so glad this board exisits , I remember when I first started posting, it was sooooo hard, but I tell anyone I know now who is having marriage problems and even a few who are engaged to come here to read , to learn, and to post, to ask questions.<P>I don't know of a better group of people than the ones here for support during these horrible situations.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>