TL,<P>One thing that confuses me a little is the fact that you don't think you're ready to get help for yourself. I think you are.<P>You are very realistic about your role in everything. You are very realistic on your outlook towards Mia (about her not being a slut and all that). All in all, you have the brains and the bravery to see everything in a clear light. The first step towards fixing your problem is admitting that you have one, which you fully do.<P>The only thing holding you back is your irrational obsession. You know this. So why not go see a psychiatrist? Going to see one and going on meds is NOT, repeat NOT a sign that you are crazy! If doing this will give you relief and release from your obsession, then why not? You have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain (namely regaining control of your life!).<P>Believe it or not, I think you have come a long way from how you were some months back. You were so so bitter and angry. Yes, you are still bitter, but you can now actually admit to being wrong and having some fault in the ruination of your marriage. And you admit that Mia isn't all bad. I would've never dreamed I'd read that from you. So, yes, you may not think it, but you are coming down the road to recovery...<P>as always, only my $.02...<P>take care,<BR>--andy

TL,<P>I dont post much anymore but I have followed your story for a long time. I have to agree w/Dazed & Confused here. It seems that you do see what part you played in the destruction of your marriage. Thats good..Hopefully you can learn from your mistakes and some day have a healthy relationship w/another man. I am all to familiar w/the pain & anger infidelity brings but you have to let the anger & bitterness go. Do it for yourself. The bitterness & anger will destroy you. I know a woman (a very beautiful woman) who is so bitter & angry at her ex (divorced 5 yrs) and her attitude comes through. The women dont feel comfortable talking to her & the men dont even approach her because she's so damn negative. Its all about attitude, you can take what happened and be miserable or you can learn from it and be a better woman, better mother, better partner (someday). I know you have been through alot - I know it hurts. If your marriage is truly over then you have 2 choices..stay angry & be unhappy or forgive yourself, him and let the anger go and let that healthy attitude shine through and good things, good people will come in your direction. Its been said before but its not what happens to us..but how we react to what happens. I wish you luck. (and happiness) Magoskid