SW - thanks. Now Andy's got me thinking, though. Maybe sooner than later.....?<P>Desiree - He must have a great sense of humor!! I'm about to burn the house down!!!<P>Thanks so much! Hey, what do YOU think about the timing???<P>Lori

Lori,<P>There are two schools of thought here:<P>1) andy would be in a good position to know - so heed his advice very carefully! That means the letter would be read and THOUGHT about, even if he didn't act on it just yet. My old motto: thinking has to occur before action (or at least we should hope so!)<P>2) Flip opinion: I would be a little leary of giving him something that HE might interpret as "pushing" or "pulling" him home. He is just on the verge of truly extricating himself from the evil PT. He is probably a little skittish at this point and I would be a little afraid of chasing him off....I would wait a short while...maybe a few weeks and if he continues to give the positive signs I would make my move! Somehow this reminds me of calf-roping at the rodeo!!!!! <P>Luv ya, Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Well, Desiree, I love your advice. I had already been wrestling with those two points for most of today!!!<P>He just called. Needed another favor. Said he was gonna play our anniversary date as lottery numbers (came out of fortune cookie conversation that came from I don't know where!). HUH??<P>Really friendly, BUT, said he got a cell phone, but in a month was gonna get rid of THEIR house phone and just use the cell phone. also told me if I'd stop sending the 2.50 cards so much, I could afford a cell phone too. "You want me to stop?" "I didn't say that, but you could afford a cell phone...." Huh? <P>This is gonna turn me into a raving lunatic!!! I don't know whether to back off, stay the same or pick up the pace. <P>I'm gonna go stand in the corner now.<P>Lori

Lori,<P>I really need to go to sleep, but I couldn't resist replying. (I am getting up early now to treadmill again before I go to work!)<P>Here is my take: PLEASE remind me of this post when I need it later!!!!!!<P>Your H is in withdrawal right now. Go back and read those 3 stages of the marriage by Dr Harley. My H is there too. Your H (and maybe mine too) is in and out of withdrawal and conflict right now. It may be the only way to explain the friendliness one day and the coolness the next! <P>According to Dr Harley, the only way to get him out of withdrawal into conflict and later out of conflict into intimacy is for you to be in intimacy, which I interpret as doing the really good planA and trying to meet his needs. [I am still waiting for the chapter and the books about THEM meeting OUR needs! HAHAHAHAHA!!! ]<P>Keep planAing and take this in stride. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the fact is that he will need some time to process the PT thing and put it in its proper perspective. A little more waiting, but surely he can not have failed to notice what a FANTASTIC wife he has!!!!!! <P>Give it some more time...(sigh!)<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Poop!<P>But he wasn't cool at all. And when I asked again if I should stop sending them, he just kept saying "No, I didn't say I WANTED you to stop sending them!" We laughed and talked and had a good time. And although he had a bogus reason for calling (which made no sense at all) the only real reason seemed to be to talk and give me that cell phone #. Now, I wasn't supposed to be calling him. Does that mean it's ok now? <P>I'm gonna go to bed. This is too much for my poor pitiful brain. BUT, just talked to MIL. He loves me. Told her again. Doesn't want me to date. When she told him I wouldn't wait forever, he panicked "She's NOT wanting a divorce, is she? Oh, Mom, Lori doesn't want to divorce me does she?" She said she looked at him like he was nuts and it went right over his head. <P>Jiminy Moses! What DOES this man want? Heavens I hope I can sleep tonight!!<P> <P>Although I think I could use a bunch of those little icons right now!!!<P>Talk to you later. I'm tired.<P>Lori