I am the sole bread winner in the family. I've two jobs most of our marriage. My wife has worked most of the time also. We homeshool our kids 14,12, and 1. This is the #1 reason why my wife no longer works. I was apprehensive at first but have seen the overwhelming positives behind homeshooling. WOW!!! Definatley, Night n day!! I'm so thankful for having been able to do this. Unfortunately, these days we're having horrible financial problems. Again, I still work two jobs and really don't get to spend very much time with the family. I'm around at bedtime and most weekends. Which I'm ....eh... it doesn't bother me to the point that it pains me but it'd be nice to be able to hang out with them more often. The biggest problem I have is we're not making it financially anymore. Technically, we never really were. But, now it's difficult to buy food and gas fo my vehicle. We live in a cheap house (do enjoy it though). We don't have weird spending habits. I thought I make ok money but apparently not enough. So I've had a zillion heated conversations with the wife that maybe she should go back to work. If one more occurance should impress itself like a vehicle problem or doctor bill etc., then it we'll never recover from the ripples it will cause in our life. Yes, we're behind in bills. I have a mulititude of maintenance that the house requires. I'm so hoping that our township inspector doesn't come around. If she'd just go back to work we could get out of the many many debts and get back onto solid ground. Sure I love the home schooling but it isn't feasible. It's a real problem just trying to buy the books these days. I've been attempting to locate work at home type of things. She's awesome at accounting type of stuff. She used to work for H and R block. Had a 4.0 GPA in College. She possesses the ability to acquire a career but chooses not to. She states that homeschooling and being a housewife is her role in life. I'd be willing to accept that but the financial exports exceed the imports. So we're constantly, steadily sinking. I suppose I'm feeling like I'm just spinning my wheels. Because I'm always working. I'd like to go back to school to ensure the possibility of obtaining that comfortable situation but I don't have time or energy. She's agreed to work at home but I haven't found anything trustworthy. If any of you have any ideas for that.... COOL!! Let me know!! We can use our PC should it require.

Recently there was an ad for temporary IRS customer service agents starting at $12 an hour. Perhaps she would consider this...it's short term and the kids can be schooled at any hours--doesn't have to be 8-3. BUT what about child care? If she pays as much for daycare as she makes, it's not worth it.

I would check out some websites like frugal-moms.com - it costs to join but it's saved me a ton of money. And the dollar stretcher...even the motley fool has a 'living below your means' message board.

Tough decisions.

First I would have a sit down discussion with her about the state of your finances. Then ask for her honest input on solving the situation. Who knows, she may see some things you are spending on that are "extras" that could really be omitted. (sometimes we justify what we buy as a need and what our spouse buy as "extras" when in reality our needs are really "extras" too!) I assemble products at home. (I also work 2 outside jobs to pay for private school as I'm not real good teacher material). My H works a job, and does odds and ends on the weekend.

Also discuss the fact that you feel like you are not enjoying your family. TALK, TALK, TALK!!! Don't let this boil over!! Maybe she could bring the kids to eat lunch with you (sack lunches) or something at times. See if she can come up with some ideas. Things she'd be willing to organize since she is the one with the "free" time. (even though homeschooling and house keeping is a full time job).

Also, why are you homeschooling? For the educational benefits or for other reasons? We are private schooling for several reasons - if it's just for educational benefit, then why not send them back to school for a few years and tutor them at home after school on the side. Your 14 year old is probably advanced enough to start taking some college courses. Enroll her/him in a night course to stimulate her/his educational advancement. There are solutions to these type of issues.

Here are my reasons for private schooling (hey who knows you might can offer ME some help!!)

1. Lower educational standards at public school
2. My child would be a racial minority by far in our public school
3. Lower standards of discipline at public school
4. Unchristian curriculum in public school
5. Unfair/biased decision making by school officials
6. Unwillingness of school officials to deal with serious problems.

When I become unable to afford private school is when we'll rearrange our finances to allow me to homeschool. Do you have a relative that could watch the kids 1 or 2 days a week, or the weekend so that she could work a part time job and still homeschool? Don't give up. Keep looking for options.

Jamup......... you world is similar to mine. Your reasons for homeschooling are much along the same lines for the most part. We're not like fanatics about the issue but it's too easy to just shrug our shoulders and say, "eh, their good kids. They'll do fine for themselves." Well, without direction, no one does fine. At first they were public schooled. I can't say enough about what a difference it truly is. The education is so superior to the public school system!! I know many have the concern that there isn't enough social activity. I used to have that same concern before we started it. Not anymore!! They have enough social interaction. Some of which I kind of frown on. Enough said.
Well, my wife hasn't been working at all. Yes, a part time job would be perfect. That would solve the problem period. Yeah, we wouldn't be doing Awesome but at least we could afford to buy food on a regular basis!! As for sitting down with her and discussing this..... you can't count the many times we've discussed this. So much so that I've considered severing our relationship just for the family's protection. It just doesn't make sense to continue to build debt and wallow in the pools of desperation. I'm presently considering taking on a third job just to make it through. Which is what I call spinning my wheels - Working hard to get no where!! As for the free time that you've made reference to.... yes, I can attest there is alot of that there. I can gauge that by the lack of house keeping. I don't usually get home until 9-10 pm mon-fri. That is when I eat dinner if it's around. I am attempting to take on another part time job and rearrange my schedule a bit so I work on Saturday as well. Problem I have is the burn out I'm starting to develope. You see, I've worked two jobs for the most part of 16 years and am missing alot because of it. I find it difficult to disgest those statements that I don't have any money to buy a small item that I'd like or join an organization or sport. So I have to fight that little devil on the shoulder that keeps whispering in my ear to rid myself of my problems.... which is, in this case, her lack of contribution to provide the necessary funds to accommodate our life style. If we choose to live a simple life style then our proximity should reflect that. If our exports are more than our imports then we have huge problems of course. It just doesn't make any sense to me! It's all very simple. Get a freakin job!! Stop being selfish or lazy.