</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mw:
<strong> I posted a note last week about my husband telling me he doesn't know if he loves me any more. He wants time (unlimited I think) to figure this out and he wants me to be supportive, loving, while he is going through this midlife crisis. He keeps telling me that it is all about him and he has made no effort to seek professional help or to work on our marriage. I don't know how long I can keep up pretending, he is destroying our marriage, he is not concerned about anyone (we have 3 daughters) but himself. If he didn't have such self-esteem issues, I would think that he has someone else, although a three hour run till 11:30 last Sat night seems a bit bizarre.
I haven't come across anything positive on this subject, I tried a 180 but after just a day and a half I realized that I can't pretend things are fine, I can't pretend to love and support him when it's completely one sided. I'm so lonely, we have not kissed or been intimate for almost three months. I fear that whatever he is going through will most certainly destroy any love or hope I have.
I'm also impatient so waiting around for him to decide if he actually wants to works things out or end it is incredibly hard. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Dear MW,

I am in the same boat! We are now in counseling but after a month the only thing I can say is we are talking. I am now in another bed room. We don't do family things are trying the me and him alone thing but its very tense. I have feelings he doesn't and the only thing I see is that what matters is one sided HIS. Same mid life crisis says he;s 43 never had what he wanted but I always get what I want. That was basically the things I came into the marriage with. ugh!
With two small children who are starting to notice changes I don't know how long I can put up with this. I am considering going away a couple of days alone for my self but I truly feel I will be lonely without the kids is that wrong?
Lost my best friend and although I want him back if he takes to long working on the love bank their won't be much left to work with. Still can't believe it.
Hope your doing better.

Cin,
Thanks for *your* advice--funny, when you think your giving advice, you get more in return. I guess that's why I've always been a good listener--I've been f***ed up for the most part of my life! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Anyway, I really hope things work for the best for the both of you. You--you need to be happy, while still trying to keep your sanity! I took your advice and wrote a novel over on the "infidelity" board--don't know if anybody will read and/or respond--it's so damn long! It may explain a little bit more about me and my situation. Thanks for "listening' and good luck to you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dear not smiling,

I'm no longer smiling either...He has been having an affair with a married mother of two for three months. How's that for a midlife crisis.

I'm completely devastated that he'd throw away our family without even working on our marriage. OW is his soulmate and he wants a divorce.