Recovery for me began when I started attending a recovery program (based on the Twelve Step traditions) called Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (one of three groups including Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex-Aholics Anonymous) and group therapy with a counselor specializing in this addiction. Through regularly attending meetings, reaching out to others with the same problem, and adhering to self defined "bottom line behaviors" (mine were no pornography, no masturbation, and no sex outside a committed relationship) I have SLOWLY begun to experience a new life and get to know myself as God really intended me to be. A key part of this recovery program was when I found out that I AM NOT ALONE, and NO, I DON'T HAVE SOME SPECIAL SEXUAL GIFT FROM GOD! Sex Addiction is a disease - but there are resources available to assist in the recovery.
<p>There are several books available about this topic, most notably books by Patrick Karnes who is recognized as the leading expert on Sexual Addiction recovery. Also, there are several web sites which discuss Sexual Addiction - use that as your search criteria.
<br>

Part 4: Again, this most definitely does not apply to everyone out there with an interest in pornography. For some people, it is an interest that they can take or leave with no real consequences. For me, it was one part of my addictive cycle that I am slowly learning to live without - one day at a time. My purpose for leaving my wife at this stage in my recovery is that I am hoping to find myself and face some core issues that the relationship was preventing. I don't know where this will all lead, but if I am to have a healthy relationship with ANYONE, including my wife, I must learn to accept and love myself and stop seeing sex as my only source of love. I hope this has helped some.

[This message has been edited by Kelly]<p>[This message has been edited by Kelly.]

Jeri,
<p>You ask is there any hope of getting your husband to open up, and you say it's hard to understand a selfish person.
<br>Well, there is always hope. I have to remind myself of that because sometimes it certainly seems like there isn't. Let this formerly selfish man tell you something about selfishness. It's like being an alchoholic, you drink every day but you don't think you're hooked, at least not to where you can't stop when you're ready.
<br>Selfishness is a killer of relationships. Unless the selfish person is made to wake up, see clearly what he or she is doing, own it as a destructive thing and make a firm resolve to turn things around, ship wreck is certain.
<br>I don't know what it will take to get your husband to open up. It's different things for different people, but in general it takes something that knocks the wind out of their sails and makes them feel helpless. Now that they are humbled they are ready to look at things afresh. That's it in a nutsehll. What that thing is for your husband I don't know.
<br>I wish you well in trying to resolve this. All I can say is to educate yourself on what it takes to keep a good relationship going, exemplify it yourself and do what you can to help your husband wake up.

Eugene D
<br>I posted a email a couple of days ago could you please read it and answer the questions. It seems you know a lot about these situations. The questions were How to get this behavior stopped, do you need counseling for it, etc. I would appreciate it. Thank you.

I just wanted to thank all of you for sharing. For your openess and honesty of feelings. It has really helped me to read what you are going through and take it into my own life.
<p>Hang in there all. We will make it through.
<p>Steph