Thanks for the replies. I'll try the web site and see what I can find on the net. There is a problem with the other, though. My husband is in the Navy and he's recruiting in an area that is eight hours from the closest base where you can get support of that sort. I've tried to find church and Christian counseling in this area, but the prospects aren't looking good. I've (we've) tried various ideas over the last two years, but they never do the job, or even improve things for very long. To be honest, I think I could deal with the disappointments of military life and the hard hours, if it weren't for everything else (though, maybe not). After the lies and the wasting of money and the broken promises, it's hard to respect someone, let alone love them. I won't say I don't love my husband, because I don't think that's something that goes away, but right now we're definitely on a downer. I'm really at a loss for how to regain that lost admiration I used to have for him. He says he still has it for me. I have a hard time remembering what it was we used to have in the way of friendship. Personally, I know the Navy hasn't helped our situation at all--he's in a high tech field and therefore, he's always worked long hours. Since recruiting, it has been worse--really, 10 pm is his average time getting home. His immediate superiors don't do their jobs, yet enjoy yelling at everyone else, like it's their fault if goals don't get met. How frustrating. And I do understand that. I've offered to sit with him in the am with coffee and help him plan his day (he asked because I'm good at organization--he's not), but it might happen once every three months and the rest of the time I have to play ALARM CLOCK and chase a grumpy him out of his bed so he's not late for work. I don't want to be his mom--I want to be his partner.
<br>If I let him take something over (that we should be doing together, but he's dumped on me) it either doesn't get done, or he messes it up (when he took over the finances I had an excellent credit rating--now it stinks). I thought God and family were more important than work, but I'm not seeing it. He'll say he can't help it---Is the military really that unreasonable ALL OF THE TIME? What do I do? Suffer for two more years, then hope it gets better? Sometimes I'm ready just to leave and make nmy own way for as many years as it takes him to grow up (he's 2 1/2 years younger than me--I tease him and tell him he's got until he's 30, but sometimes I think I'm serious.) ARGH!
