Bruce:
<p>I don't mean to make this sound like a bunch of bull, but, seriously . . . what a great man you are!!! I mean that with all sincerity. Your wife is very lucky to have you. I hope that whatever problems you are having in your marriage can be worked out. She seriously needs to take a look at what she has!!! By the way, are you a counselor? I ask because you give great advice and you sound extremely intelligent! Good luck to you and thanks for all your great advice to all of us.

I am not an attorney, but as far as I know once it's final, that's it...you'd have to remarry. In fact, I am quite sure that once it's filed it is extremely hard to stop. Divorce sucks, plain and simple! My wife has decided to throw away our marriage and our intact home in favor of her "freedom". In doing so, my children are confused, I am heartbroken, and both of us are flat broke and have to get second jobs. Some "freedom", huh? Sorry...just venting!
<br> Ryan

Bruce, I decided to post this reply to your message about the books over here on "your" topic instead of the porno problem one ... didn't want to clutter up someone else's topic.
<p>Thanks for the book info. I have read and re-read and re-re-read ... etc., the Blase Harris book. You'll need to keep it "handy" so you can use it for reinforcement when things get tough, take it from me.
<p>I'll look for the other two books you mentioned - they certainly sound as if they could be helpful. My H is so convinced that he needs to leave, though, I'm really not sure if any of this will help much - but I'm trying everything I can. I sure wish his mom were here to tell him what a fool he's being...
<p>I'm sorry to hear that your wife seems to be moving further into withdrawal, but her asking you to take some action and explaining what is bothering her seems to be a step in the right direction. I hope the "in-house separation" works for you both and that she comes to realize just what it is you *have* together.
<p>I don't remember if your wife had an affair or if she has simply decided that she's not sure she wants to be married anymore. So many of us have such sad stories that sometimes I get them mixed up ... sorry.
<p>terri

Bruce, I know how you feel Somtimes I go for a month or so without sex or even being kissed or hugged the way you would exspect from your mate you do have your work cut out for you but it takes two hun to make a marriage work if you are the only one willing to make it wokr it more than likely wont.
<br>I hope the books help I have found nothing to help me as of yet good luck with your wife and stay sweet and as understanding as you
<br>are.

Bruce,
<br>Thank you for responding to me!! What good would telling him that I do not find him attractive do? It would just crush him, and there really isn't a whole lot he can do to change his appearance for the better. I know it is hard to believe that I married him anyway. I thought that I could overlook it, but I see now that it is really hard to do. I have only been married for 5 months. I do not EVER want to get divorced. I made a promise before God. I settled for him, because I didn't think I would ever find a Christian who would love me like he does. My problem is that I look at other guys that I find attractive and sometimes lust for them. I KNOW THIS IS EXTREMELY WRONG!! I just feel like this situation is hopeless. Bruce or anyone else please respond!!

My boyfriend of 2 years has gone back to using marijuana, he had been clean I think for the previous year. I am a non user, never have used it and never will. He is not a recreational user, he uses it all day long, and into the evening. He has changed now emotionally with me, he is withdrawn, loner. I tell him this but he says grass makes him creative and able to handle the large amount of stress in his life, he lost his job and his hand go very injured while he was on the job and all this lead to him going back to the grass, he was so depressed and angry. He says the he will not quit. I dont know what to do, can a relationship survise with heavy addiction to grass? He used to be a wonderfull person, now he is like a stranger to me. Am I fighting a lost cause?
<br>