Next Fri, is my x's and her father's birthday. We had always celebrated together. I'm pretty sure that won't happen this year, although I had been considering inviting them over next week as the kids are on spring break and I need to get back to work after being off most of this week with my sick son.<P>Anyway, how big a deal should I make of the birthday to the kids. Should I remind the kids or just let that up to them to get cards, gifts, etc. ? I guess i should encourage them especially for their grandfather, but for some reason I don't feel like doing it for the mother.

Bob,<P>For the grandfather, I would definately encourage the kids to get him a card, gift or whatever. <P>As for their mother, I would remind them that it is her birthday but leave it up to them about whether or not to get a gift. (Of course, this advice could be coming your way because of my anger right now )<P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi

Hi RWD -<P>For some reason, huh? LOL!!! You make me laugh!!!<P>Yes, I would tell them of BOTH birthdays and ask them what they want to do!!!!<P>Let it be their choice as to how big or how little they want it.....<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba<p>[This message has been edited by Sheba (edited March 30, 2000).]

Your wife made the decision to walk away from you and her children. She wants a life change so let her have it. Encourage the kids to make a card for grandpa, maybe pick him up something small from the store. Remind them it's their mom's b-day and they can make her something if they want. I guess I feel that purchasing gifts for the children to give their parent(s) is the responsiblity of a spouse when the kids are young. She doesn't want to be your spouse, so your not obligated. If she wants to be divorced, let her start living the divorced life.

Bonnie, <BR>Thats the way I am leaning because at Xmas, prior to us ending it she had told me she wanted this particular perfume. Well when we decided to end it, there was no way I was going to buy it. Well she told my daughter and I ended up buying it for d to give to her mother. I sure hope om enjoys it .<P>I just reminded my son that next week is his grandfather's birthday and he said his mom's too. I asked what he ws going to do, and he said give him a card and some money(?). <P>Not sure what my d wants to do.<P>I guess their mother has brought their birthdays up, otherwise how else would kids remember it.

I agree with Bonnie!<P>

I think if your children want to buy their mother something you should support their decision. Maybe offer a cetain amount that they are allowed to spend. I think that you allowing them to purchase a gift for their mother shows that you are a better person than she is.<P>My B-day present was getting arrested by my H and he didn't even help my kids do anything for me. My son told me that he asked Dad what to do for my b-day, and Dad said he didn't know and that I told him I didn't want a gift from him (my h). Can you imagine lying to an 8 year old? I never even mentioned my b-day to either my H or my son. My son felt bad about not having anything to give me, but of course I told him the best gift was having my darling son with me on my b-day. I think kids love both parents no matter what. Even though I find it hard to understand sometimes

This is a real sore spot for me, since we separated in July, my BD was in August and he didn't even take the kids shopping for anything for me...and at this point, we were just separated, the door was open for reconciliation(somewhat). <BR>His BD is Monday....I am not going to acknowledge it, my kids are 16 and 14, they can figure it out and decide if they <BR>want to do anything for him, I am not prompting them in any way. I agree with Bonnie, she is divorced, let her boyfriend take care of her BD needs!!!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Susan