I never dreamed I would be a divorce statistic!<P>I was separated for 4 years before my wife/I divorced March 14th of this year. I wanted restoration/reconciliation. I prayed for it, worked towards it, cried, believed and remained faithful during the separation.<P>I heroically stated that "I would never divorce my wife and if she divorced me, I would still wear my wedding ring and remain single the rest of my life".<P>But, in December....I finally gave up and felt God release me from the marriage. I felt He did so because He was tired of seeing me suffer/hurt from my wife's lack of interest in communicating with me.<P>All during the divorce proceedings, I had such tremendous peace. To me, my wife is someone I used to know, the mother of my children and my sister in Jesus Christ.<P>I have no desire to be restored with her, I wish her well and I am moving on with my life.<P>When I first joined Marriage Builders (May or June of last year); I was very hard and critical of anyone who was divorced or divorcing. I religiously stated "it is til death do us part and not til divorce do us part".<P>Finally, someone posted back to me and shared this: "[censored], God does hate divorce but He doesn't hate THOSE that divorce". This really opened my eyes and gave me increased compassion for those who were divorced or divorcing.<P>I believe God promised to restore my marriage many times...so did He fail? No....because although it was HIS will and MY will; it wasn't my ex-wife's will. God will not cross another person's will..we all have a 'free-will' to make choices even if they are wrong or destructive.<P>I can see now that because of the changes God has made in me....and what I have learned over the past 4+ years about being a husband, father and lover....that I will marry again because I have too much love in me to share.<P>Some woman (hopefully B...., the one I am seeing now); will benefit from all the mistakes I made in the past as I will spend the rest of my life being the kind of husband/lover that will honor God and my wife. She will be spoiled and treated like a Queen.<P>Divorce doesn't have to be the end..it can be the beginning! There can be 'life after divorce'.<P>Remember..Today is the 1st day of the rest of your life...God gives us a fresh start, clean slate and new beginning every day! His mercies and compassion are fresh every morning, great is His faithfulness!<P>[censored] from Texas

Hi [censored]!<P>I hope your relationship with B.... works out!<P> <P>TB

[censored],<BR>I can relate because I don't want to become one. However, I hear some degree of you being hard on yourself for something your exW decided must be done. She is the controller of her destiny. She is the one who will be called on the carpet for her actions. You did what God asked you to do.<P>On this point I can relate. I am merely doing what God has asked me to do. I get accused of being a martyr because the accusers can't relate because they still don't see. I know and feel in my soul the pain that my W is feeling both from me and all others who have hurt her. She still doesn't see that it is God who is blessing her through me. I am here because He has asked me to stay. I emphasize ask because I could easily sin and be a selfish as anyone else. <P>I am not doing this to get any praise because it is not about me. It is about Jesus and doing the Father's will. With each new day I feel as Paul did as he got closer to God. I am but a wretched man who when compared to God is nothing but because He loves me that makes me something really important. I out of my love for Him do the things that I do. I don't do them in a legalistic sense but outof my pure admiration of Him.<P>All that I do for my W is out of pure love and admiration for her. I don't expect to get any of this love in return before my current flesh dies. The new flesh will be incorruptible. Yet, because my W is so hung up on worldly things it is impossible for her to see those things which are eternal. I know she is going to understand because He has let me know that she is gonig to understand while ending spending eternity with God. I don't worry about this like I used to do.<P>Though I want your current relationship to work, I still say that you are trying to quickly fill a void in your life that only Jesus can fill. No I'm not saying that He isn't there now. I am saying that you appear to be focused on worldly things right now. I know how that feels because I also am beginning to be overly concerned with pursuing happiness from a worldly stand point. That is why I say what a wretched man that I am.<P>MONDO HUG to you my brother in CHrist.<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

I related to the comment you made about the WS being blessed through you. I told my husband something similar when he was searching for "signs" that we should get back together. <P>I asked what bigger sign than to have me stand so firm for my marriage? It obviously didn't work, but I know that I did the right thing in God's eyes. I DID stand for my marriage even when my H made it really tough to.<P>Anyway, I relate guys! <P>{{{{HUGS}}}}<P>TB