Rob:<P>Decided to address your reply to me on this forum in a separate topic.<P>I have always admired/respected you and how you were standing for your marriage. I have respected your love for Jesus and apparent long-suffering.<P>However, I do take issue with something you said in your reply to me here. You said you sensed I was trying to fill a void in my life with something only Jesus could fill. That I was beginning to get 'worldly'.<P>I am not going to defend myself, for you do not know my heart or situation. B....and I know that Jesus must come first in our relationship and we spend much time together in fellowship, prayer, praise.<P>I know the Lord brought B.... to me and to be honest with you my friend and brother; I was somewhat angered at your judgement. <P>Could you be looking at my situation through your own wounded one with your wife?<P>I admire you for hanging in there for your wife, but I disagree with you continuing to hang around for the abuse you are receiving.<BR>I do not believe the Lord expects that. To be honest, I do not see any changes coming in your wife as long as you both are under the same roof.<P>Is it possible you are trying to be both lover and Lord to her? Only Jesus can change her and obviously she is not receiving from you.<P>Is it time for you to switch gears and move into Plan B?<P>Sorry Rob, but I was really upset with the statement you made to me as you have nooooo<BR>idea of where I am at with Jesus!<P>I have to much love in my heart to not share and God has prepared me over a 4+ year separation of how to love a woman as Christ loved the church.<P>I have told B....that the one thing I fear is that we will lose the one thing that brought us together....the spirit.<P>Just yesterday I felt impressed in my spirit that the "Spiritual" produced or gave birth to the emotional/physical attraction between us. And now that these are established it would be easy to neglect the spiritual.<P>However, what I felt the Lord was teaching me was....even though the emotional (soul) and physical (flesh) are strong....if we maintain the "spiritual" first place....this will only enhance, enrich and sweeten the other.<P>Anyway.....guess we can agree to disagree.<P>[censored] from Texas

[censored],<BR>I wrote this before I had read your other post. I am sorry I angered you. I did not know that there were four years of separation from your W. I meant no harm nor was I trying to judge. <P>I have been walking with the Lord since I was 12 and am now 37+. When I look back over my life I know that He was directing me an that I had been swayed by my flesh because it is hard not to. When I broke up with my XGF, I felt as I posted earlier, the one that upset you so. I am feeling that way somewhat now but not as much as I did with my XGF.<P>I was going to go back and edit the other post but was unable to because I have to stop surfing while I wait on other processes to run (my boss thinks I am sluffing off.) I also know when you are truly committed to someone that the closeness takes time to heal. I was more or less relating what I felt with my XGF. 33.5 years is a lot of water under the bridge. I INCORRECTLY assumed that you would take it harder than you have.<P>I apologize for not coming across more empathetically. When I finally stop pursuing my XGF about 6 months later, I vowed to never get that close to a woman again. This was winter semester of my sophomore year. However, God let me know in my spring semester of my senior year that He had other plans for me. He wanted me to get married. I met my W the day after graduation when my brother introduced us. I had ony planned to meet her and that was to be the end of it because my brother is a womanizer and I thought she was a harlot before I even met her. <P>This view changed after we talked. I wasn't really looking that night but He told me He wanted me to marry her. I prayed about it for two solid weeks before I went and asked her to marry me. Though I didn't know it at the time He had something big He wanted me to do. I now know what it was that He wanted me to do.<P>I am planning on moving out when our finances are at a point where it can be done. I can't do it right now. I am not saying that your suggestion isn't right because I know that she needs a reality check. She needs to know that life is much harder when you through things back in God's face. Yet, when I find myself wanting to leave in a vindictive manner, I know at those moments that I have become as selfish as she is now.<P><B>Please accept my apology. I just don't want you to rush to fill a void that only Jesus can fill.</B> <P>I was thinking the other day that I was HAPPY when I married my W. I am even happier now even though my pain is great. I have gotten much closer to Him because of her. Out of my love for Him and her is why I am still working on our marriage. Yet, He has let me know that I must do what is right given the circumstances. Leaving right now is not what He wants me to do. Besides I have our boys to get through this as well. <P>If it were just her and me I could leave right now. But such isn't the case.<P>Your Brother in Christ.<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net