Girlfriend...I know Nellie is in pain. I've always been one who finds it hard to watch people stay "stuck". I think the real problem for me with her is that I'm truly worried about her. I fear if she doesn't find a way out of this mess she is going to crack, too. I know all about despair and anxiety and depression...I've lived it for the last year. And today is especially bad. One year ago today is when my H first slept with the OW and I found out from my 9 year old this morning that my H has his OW's dog living with him. She lives 800 miles away so that can only mean she's about to move here. I just don't know how I'm going to handle it when it happens. Today is not one of my better days...but life does go on. There are times I just want to crawl in bed and never get out. Today is one of those times. I certainly respect Nellie and I do understand her pain. I just worry about her is all. Sometimes you want to fix things for people and you just can't. I'm a fixer. Always have been, always will be. Character flaw I guess. <P>BTW...which Witchcraft & Magic thread? Are you sure it was me??? Maybe I'm living an alternate life, but I don't recall that thread. Of course, I've posted on so many that I'm not really sure. <P>Take care.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Hello again, Girlfriend,<P>Thanks for the compliment... <P>I suspect there are many here who are VERY strong... stronger than they ever expected!!<P>I know that some days I almost want to slap people who say I'm strong... when my son was diagnosed with disabilities, I was strong on the outside, did what needed to be done, but dying on the inside. You know what I mean? Actually, I see myself as a big vessel filled with jello!<P>Take care... <P>...and Keridwen7, I count you among the strong ones. Yes, it's a bad day, and yes, it seems you may be right about the OW moving here, but you are the one with integrity and the self-knowledge to know that you needed some help through this depression.<P>By the way [hense the edit] soulloss is Wiccan, and had a wonderful thread once about her beliefs. Could you mean her?<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited May 17, 2000).]

yes, I have emerged from lurkdom.....<P>it was indeed my thread (now in the read-only posts) about magic and witchcraft.....that was when I came out of the closet....lol...<P>now excuse me while I stay out of this thread and run away back to my cave...<P>dylan

Hi guys, when I said there were those that "whipped" through the process, I really wasn't thinking of anyone who has ended up on the D/D forum--not even you lonelymom, you never intended to go from discovery to divorce so quickly. I was thinking about people who "discover", show up on the Infidelity forums, and in 3 weeks they are saying the recovery is so complete that they don't need MB anymore. I always wonder if they are deluding themselves...or if they'll be back. Under a different name? Cynical sometimes, aren't I?<P>I'm just going through this thing so slowly, but with 6 reconciliations and 7 separations in 2 years and that blasted OW popping in and out...issues take time. Half the time I don't know if I'm healing, being hurt again, or, as in the last 4 months, about to bolt for good.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

I appreciate that NB...I don't feel very strong most of the time...especially today. I just want to run and hide and have a good cry, but I can't. I have to work today. I have 2 audits scheduled and 4 reports to write. I don't have time to cry. But I will get through this day and the next and the next. I sometimes wonder how I got here.<P>BTW...I am Wiccan also. I had kept myself in the broomcloset fearing prejudice and proselytizing from others in this forum. I know many people do not understand Wicca and what it entails. But I won't deny my religious beliefs at this point. It's what has gotten me through most of this. Knowing there's a higher power with a plan for me. I have a path to travel and this happens to be one of the thorny patches. <P>Thanks for letting me horn in on your thread Girlfriend...I guess I should have started my own today as rotten as I feel. Sorry...<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com