I think I know how it came about. I had this massive need for affection and fulfillment - things the x had no clue on. This fellow has so many good traits that I just decided not to say no. Silent consent. <P>Seeing as how I had never been told much of anything positive by my x or my father, I was a sitting duck for a man who could affirm anything I could do. Now that I have been affirmed, about a number of things, I don't think I'll be such a pushover. But if you have to be a pushover for sex, you really should be pushed over by someone who's good. Sure beats those people who haven't a clue. People like my x. <p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited October 05, 2000).]

WIFTT - On some thread in the not-to-distant past, you made a comment about "stringing someone along." What does that entail?

just wanting to help you think through the confusion about the choice between sex and religion.<P>I was wondering if you could reconcile the two different points of view by thinking that sex was ok if this person could be a life long partner. that would help ease the confusion over the two issues.<P>However, if he is having a great relationship, and you aren't sure, i was just hoping to get you to start to think about your response if he really wanted to get serious.<P>its none of my business, really, but if you considered him a long term relationship, the sex conflict should be able to disappear.<P>that was the essence of the thought provoking question.<P>thl

Oh my! Posted twice<p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited October 17, 2000).]

How did this get posted twice? <p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited October 17, 2000).]

Cinderella,<BR> I was reading the "Boundaries for the Single" there for awhile. I highly recommend for those who are single. One thing that has stayed with me, and I pass it on when appropriate, is "once someone has "invaded" your body, it's very difficult to get them out of your heart", the book's words. Can't tell you where I'll be in 5 months, but I know right now the getting him out of my heart is really, really difficult and painful. I guess for me being physically intimate is right there in my soul, and I can see why it can be confusing. Another book called "Women who run with the wolves" says that when there is a physical relationship, and the man doesn't want to commit...as the old adage goes "Why buy the cow when the milk is free". Please, don't take this personally, I often write for my own reminding and benefit. And, of course, when writing you don't have the "personal" note...gestures, etc.

Both those shoes fit really uncomfortably. I think I need to read one of those books. I really need to get my "NO! apparatus" working again. You know what I mean, that part of me that makes the word "NO" pop out of my mouth.