Hi Kristy,<P> Hope this post finds you doing okay? I'm kind of embarrassed by the platitudes... <BR>Believe me, I'm not *that* big-hearted. I have my moments, lol. But I am very happy that you have a safe place to come to for encouragement and advice. Remember, you *can* vent here, too. Very good for preventing lovebusters, lol.<P> I was thinking about what drew said...about having a place of solitude for yourself. When I was a kid, I used to climb a tree. I usually took my workbook with me, and would draw or write. Now, my favorite place is at the beach. Here in R.I., we have some really rocky beaches. I wait for low tide, and go out as far as I can. Just sit and meditate, talk to God, watch the waves. Very nice and calming.<P> Back to you, how are you? Has husband come home? Have you had a chance to talk? I am thinking about ya. (((((((Kristy)))))) Hang in there.<P> Mrrlk, thankyou for your kind words. I'm sorry that your wife can't/won't forgive you. Unfortunately, we can't always make people feel the way we want them to. Try as we might others have this un-nerving habit of following their own minds, lol. <P> You will (or perhaps you already have?) learn from your mistakes. Also, no one knows what the future holds. Sometimes the least expected things happen. Good things, that is.<BR>Look forward, to your future. Looking back helps nothing, if you have already learned what you could from it. Thanks again for your kind thoughts. <P> Now, to you both: I have a whine... <BR>Today, I turned 30 years old. Is it old? Is it young? I guess that all depends on who I ask, huh? I had a really great day. Spent it with my daughter (she's 6). She kept giving me "presents" that were actually little nicnacs from her room, lol. My bf gave me a dozen pink roses, and a cake that had 29 candles on it... quite the joker, eh? One of my neighbors popped in with a bag of balloons and noise makers. She gave me a really cute little wind-chime. She's a cut-up. She even gave me a card from her cat and dog, lol! <P> I got to talk to my grandfather, mother, and sisters on the phone. Heard all the latest dramas from their parts. It had been a couple of months since I had talked to grandpa... was really good to talk to him. Now, *he* is a big-hearted person. One Thanksgiving, at my mom's, I saw him outside in the cold. I went out and asked him why he was standing out there like that. He grinned at me and unzipped his jacket to show me the kitten that he found in the barn. He said that he was worried that it would catch a cold or freeze to death. In a barn full of hay and other animals? He makes me smile, when I think about that. <P> Wow, this got long, huh? You guys take care... Kristy, post an update sometime, k?<P>~~Mynabird~~ Smile, it'll make others wonder what you're up to.

KristyAnn / Mynabird...<P>MB / KA...thank you both for your kind words. MB...you are so correct! You are very wise...I agree that you can only work on yourself...you can not expect people to behave to the template you have in your mind or hope that they adhere to. You seem so strong and focused in your way...something I admire and continue to work on as I make my way down my path.<P>KA...I'm hopeful things get better for you as time moves on...you need to be mindful that self-care is important in everything you do at this stage of your journey. I must confess to you...I miss the part of the country you live in as I grew up with my Rocky Mountains living between Denver the the foothills. So...Grand Junction is very beautiful and one of my favorite places on the western slope!<P>How is the forest fire situation around you? This year is really a bad one as far as the fire season and total number of fires is concerned. I hope you and yours are out of harms way and not in any immediate threat or danger. Keeping my fingers crossed.<P>You both continue to "Energize" this site with all that you both do! Again, we all need to say thank you a little more often!<P>mrrlk

MB...Sorry about that, I almost forgot!!<P>HBTY HBTY HBDMB...HBTY! <P>Make a wish!<P>Are you kidding? Old...give me a break...you still need to get carded when you visit a bar!<P>Happy Birthday on your special day!<P>mrrlk

ROTFLMAO!!!<P> Thanks Mrrlk! Like I said, it all depends on who I ask, lol. My 23 year old sister was picking on me, "Ohhhhh, you're so old, now. HA HA!" I told her that she'd better be nice, 'cause she isn't *that* far behind me. I still feel like I'm 23, sometimes. Just a number, just a number, just a number. Sure, I feel better, now. lol <P>~~Mynabird

Dear Myna and Mrllk,<P>Thank you so much for checking in with me. I feel like I have friends I can "talk" to. <P>My H did "drop by" last night to pick up his mail. He was coming back from his parents' in another state and on his way to his office in a neighboring town. I made a point of looking nice, having the house all straightened up and being cool, calm and collected. There were no LBs, nice (but superficial) conversation, some mutual caring and I would say at least a couple of love bank deposits. I told him I was glad he made it back ok -- that I had been worried about him. He said he was glad that I had called his parents' house on Sun when we got home to let them know my son and I made it home safely (I spoke with his brother, not him). He then said he was going to be in other town the rest of the week and he would "call" on Saturday (usually he would come home Fri night). I said okay, didn't question or push for anything more. As he left, I said, "be careful," and he said "you too". <P>When I relayed the story to my counselor, he said I'd done a good job. That's great, but right now I'm feeling so lonely I can hardly stand it. It's the hardest thing in the world to just sit by and wait for . . . who knows what? I am feeling very anxious about his "call" on Sat. If he has in mind to negotiate terms for divorce I don't know if I'll be able to handle that. I'm sorry -- I'm feeling pretty down tonight.<P>Another thing on my mind is a function that is coming up for his job that is supposed to be an "outing" for Managers and wives. It is going to be at a beautiful bed and breakfast in the mountains. There is golfing planned, dinners and a murder mystery dinner. The invitation just arrived in the mail today -- addressed to both of us. I'm pretty sure he will not want me to go (although we haven't talked about it since before d-day) -- he *has* to go because there are business meetings planned for him and other managers in between the fun. I looked at the colorful brochures and the invite that said "we've reserved a special room for each of you" (meaning each couple, of course!) -- and I cried. <P>I'm not sure how to deal with some of this stuff as it comes up. I try to stay positive -- I've been working and staying busy, but the nights alone are so hard. <P>I'm sorry this post is such a downer -- especially since you have a birthday going on. Happy, happy Birthday, Myna. And, by the way, 30 is young, young, young! (I sounded a bit like a MynaBird there ) You have nothing to worry about, sweetie -- lots and lots of great living ahead of you. I still feel young at 41.<P>Dear Mrllk: Thanks for hanging in here with us. It's great opening up the thread and finding your posts!<P>I do love the Rocky Mountains and the Grand Valley is definitely one of God's most beautiful creations. Most of the fires have been "contained" here in CO, but I heard there might be a new one that started in Glenwood Canyon near No Name. I hope they get it under control quickly -- that canyon is also an awe-inspiring creation. <P>We used to live in Ft Collins for about 10 years before moving to GJ. It's pretty over there but getting to be awful crowded. Much more wide open space over here!<P>Myna and Mrllk, keep up the postings. It does my heart good to hear from you! I looked for email addresses for you on the EM posting, but couldn't find any. Mine's there if you want to email me.<P>Thank you, dear ones, and God Bless, KristyAnn<p>[This message has been edited by KristyAnn (edited August 17, 2000).]

KA...<P>Thinking of a wish and saying a simple prayer for you today!<P>Do your rain dance and put a halt to those fires...<P>Self Care...please remember that. You have said in your previous posts that you alone will not control the outcome of your journey...and you know that.<P>So do something nice for yourself today and remember that Self-Care does not mean walking away but puts the focus on you...a very important you I might add!<P>Since I've not been to this site on a regular basis...I will search for the e-mail post but I'm not sure I've seen that one.<P>Take care...keep your chin up...and I hope today is a little bit better than yesterday!<P>mrrlk

(((((((Kristy))))))))<P> Oh the loneliness! It is hard to deal with. Especially at night. Mrrlk is right don't forget to do something for you. Take care of you. Do you have a devotional book? My mom gave me a beautiful, leather-bound one, called "My Utmost for His Highest, Journal." It is truely wonderful. It has space for me to write in my thoughts. Also has daily selections for me to read, along with some scripture.<P> Question: Are you having much difficulty sleeping? If so, please check into getting some sleeping meds. You will need the rest, any way that you get it. <P> I responded to your post on GQ, about the trip. I'll try to respond to you at GQ, for now. If you like, feel free to email me at (edited by Mynabird) . I check it daily, even if I don't get to Mbers.<P> Also, do you have family nearby? If so, please do let them help you, too. Or even friends. You don't have to tell them anything, other than the fact that you need their emotional support. Tell them that you do *not* want this to be a war, you do not want them to choose sides. Tell them that you just want them to support your mission to repair your marriage, and maybe a shoulder to lean on, too. Note, if you do not want to tell them what is really going on, you don't have to!<P> Try to carry on the daily tasks of your life previous to all of this. Add some new hobbies , if you have the time. Don't do anything drastic, like wacking all of your hair off! I did it and regretted it so badly...I looked like Liza Minelli! But hey, you can have fun with different hair colors. Part of this Plan A is for *you*! Do things that make you happy and relaxed. Not an easy task, eh? This is your challenge. Go for it, full-steam ahead!<P> Take care of you (your boys need you to),<P>~~Mynabird<p>[This message has been edited by Mynabird (edited August 24, 2000).]

KristyAnn...<P>Your week must of been a very busy one! Mynabird and I have been wondering where you have been! Send us a short note so we know what you have been up to.<P>Thinking of you and those beaufitul Rocky Mountains.<P>mrrlk

Hi Mrllk,<P>I'm still here - just kinda abandoned this post -- it was drifting toward the bottom of the pile. I was kind of surprised to find it back toward he top!! <P>Catch up with me on my post at EN "The spare bedroom option. . ." I would love your input!!<P>Thanks so much for checking in with me. That makes me feel really good. <P>Hope to see ya at EN!<P>Love and Prayers, KristyAnn<P>