When I discussed suing the OW with my attorney who I really respect, he told me I had no grounds to sue her on. He said that even if there were alienation of affection I would have to prove that she alienated him from me and that can't always be done. I asked him if there was any other personal injury I could sue her for. He said, and I think I'm remembering this right, that if I was a practicing witch and held ceremonies at my house that it might upset my neighbors who are christian and cause them emotional distress. But I am not responsible for that. By this same thinking, he said that the OW does not set out just to cause me distress but she sets out to have a relationship with my H and he freely chose to do it. I would have to prove that she set out to do it and continued to do with with the intention of causing me distress. Now sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't talk to a different attorney, maybe a woman? I don't have must trust left for men I'm afraid.

I still do NOT and NEVER WILL put all blame on the spouse.. yes it his/her initial dicission, but in the end.. BOTH ARE STILL AT FAULT.. AND (TO ME) TO BLAME.. <P>any one, and I mean any one, or two people that conform to this act of adultry is at fault.. and it does not involve just one OP.. it involves every one who is in either family.. weather divorced/single, or not.. they were wrong.. they knew of YOU!!!! they knew they may get caught, and they did it any way!!! that is THIER CHOICES.. and any dicission we all amke we all have to take what ever the consequences.. <P>If you can prove things of this nature in a court of law.. (hardly ever done any more) ther are consequences to pay.. but the courts all now ruled for no fault anything, any more!!!! this is the way of our world...<P>If you were able to take these OW/OM to court.. do you think they would still be fooling around as much.. knowing they could get caught, and knowing the consequences they may have to pay!!! doubt it.. because then any private eye, would be making millions.. and that would help put some kind of an end to this horrible devastation.. but of course those days are over.. because even the president is doing it!!! and being it was on national TV and nothing was done about it, why would us little people get to have our day of glory..!?<P>the entire world has no more morals left in them. they are all looking for a fast screw, first!! and then take the time to get to know the mind.. it would be so nice to have it back to the other way around.. <P>I did not mean to up set you New Beginning.. this is hard enough on all of us, then to have to have to sit here and defend ones opinion.. but this is mine, and I *do* feel each and every one of these people, knew just what they were doing, and getting them selves into.. and who was behind closed doors and involved.. and who it would hurt. along the way.. this is a fact.. no matter what, in alot of cases.. and each divorcee` or even single person now a days has no excuse to what they choose to do, for THEM SELVES!! thats what this is all about.. them selves.. and self indulgences.. they are not thinking of the out come, at *the* moment.. they are just thinking of them selves... <P>again.. I`m sorry, but ths is my opinion.. and I guess until any one can tell me, that the OW/OM had no intentions, and was forced and raped.. this is a closed case..<P>AV <P><BR>

Distressed,<P>Yes, I would recommend talking to another attorney. The law is there to protect people. If that attorney doesn't want to take the case, look for another one who will. Maybe it isn't his area of expertise, or maybe he just doesn't want to do it, but the law allows for people to be protected from intentional mental abuse. In addition to monetary damages, you can sue for a cease and desist order.<P>Now, of course, there is the issue of the betrayer's free will. If the couple is separated, there is nothing you can do unless the OW is actually harassing you. <P>I actually went about establishing grounds for proof. I sent the OW a letter saying that her phone calls were an annoyance. We (meaning the H and I) did not welcome her calls and did not want to speak to her under any circumstances. If she continued to call, her phone calls would be documented and considered harassment. If she sent any pictures, e-mail, left phone messages, etc, they would be used in a court of law against her. I told her that the H was urging me to sue her and that if she continued to be a pest, I would press charges. I also sent her a newspaper article telling of the million dollar award in the Alienation of Affection case. The phone calls stopped immediately.<P>Now for everyone else:<BR>For the issue of who's fault it is, who cares? If you want to get on with your life, you need to let go of that. The betrayer and the OP are BOTH guilty. They both knowingly hurt people. Married or not, the OP had free will just as the WS did. <P>If you are looking at it for punitive purposes, sue the OP and take out your revenge. Use your evidence in court against the WS to get whatever you can get. For divorce purposes, they don't care about adultery, but some states will use this in determining financial settlements. <P>If you are reconciling, let it go. The WS will have to live with the hurt he caused everytime he looks into your children's eyes or yours, and if he is human at all, that is more pain than you can ever imagine.