Yup,<P>the group of people my wife fell into are NOT the kind of people I would hang out with. They have girlfriends on the side, they are not very motivated. What started all of this was an invite by a married friend who was bringing his girlfriend roller blading, and his best friend, who is divorced for having an affair, wanted to go with someone.<P>so he invited my STBX, and she lied about where she was going, and came home in tears, and her supervisor was looking for her, for she failed to turn in her required work, and I believe that was the physical affair day, since the married person and his girlfriend couldn't go at the last second. wink, wink.<P>After that, all she wanted to do was hang out with these people at the bar, and drink. Now she wouldn't go to a bar with me because of smoke for 10 years. and she wouldn't drink for fear of herself getting out of control.<P>So she is now dating, and we don't even have any papers filed yet, and all she wants is someone taller, and someone who works nearby, and someone who works hourly, for a definate schedule. She has one, but he does all the stuff she told me I couldn't do, and she wouldn't do. To me that is desperate, and a rebound date. the anti-tom<P>I guess you can find the next mr right anywhere, but do you think it will last? This will be interesting.<P>I will be very picky next time, and will date as many as it will take to find the right one, but even then, i may not marry, it won't make any sense, the risks are too high, at least right now! and the sex will NOT be the acid test!<P>tom

CJ,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> where to the people with high moral character go? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><B> TO NASHVILLE IN JANUARY! </B><P>btw, you had better not wimp out, and you had better be there. I look forward to the mental challenge of the one-line humor!<P>of course, i know that I have already lost after the last post, but i never fear failing, I fear not giving it a try!<P>tom<BR>

Now let me contrast all this with some of my friends:<P>I am friends with about a half dozen guys I have known since high school and before. Growing up together we did the usual "getting into trouble" and "sowing our oats" (while they always sowed alot more than me!). When I first got married, while they all loved my wife, they were jealous in a way, that she was taking me away from the group. This was very hard for me to deal with, but I knew that I was committing to my wife 100% and told them that upfront. Over the years they would often come to visit and actually grew to really like my wife - kind of like they accepted her into our group of guys.<P>Now we jump forward to the present: When I first told them they were utterly shocked. As is so often the case, from the outside our marriage looked perfect. <P>What I expected from these guys was the typical "let her go.... there are better girls out there... its her problem....girls are *itches....lets go drink...etc..." But what I received was absolutely short of amazing. Not only were they for us (me & my wife) trying to work things out, when she moved out they expressed a degree of understanding I never could have imagined (keep in mind that 5 out of the 6 are still single and in their late 20's).<P>Even when I was in my rebellious state and was up for "going out" and trying to meet women, they were there to "talk me down" and to make sure I knew what I was getting into. <BR>This whole time they have been pillars of support for not only me, but my marriage. And of course they all can not understand at all what my wife is doing.<P>So I do agree that friends can play a very influential role in these situations, and I thank God everyday for mine! They have really been there for me over the past months....<P>Mike

Tom,<P>To Nashville we go! Sharpen your rapier wit and have at it man, because there is no better opponent and I intend to WIN!<P>Mike,<P>I'm so glad to hear that you have those kind of friends. What an unusual blessing for you! So there is hope then? There are a few true people out there? Good! I'll keep looking! <P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.<p>[This message has been edited by FaithfulWife (edited November 03, 2000).]